hi ive been away for a while but iv just gone through the worst few days of my life ive always fought the battle of teiva sometimes i passed sometimes i failed but the last week ive fallen you see ive always managed to stay away from "real" porn but not anymore ive cracked and my eyes have seen things that even a goy would be embarrassed of! yes ive gone on to real disgusting sites and i feel like i cant stop it has cause me to masturbate a few times as well i feel like i cannot do teshuva why would hashem want me back after seeing those things i feel so detached that i just might as well do more help me im sinking! is there hope for me can i do teshuva?

WELCOME!!!!!!!

First things first. DEEP BREATH. IN AND OUT! Thats it. Feel better?

Its ok, you slipped. Now move on. How can you improve? What steps could you take? Maybe start with a filter.

Check out the GYE Handbook and Skep's tips

Welcome. Unfortunately I probably have stumbled more than you, and there is nothing more that Hashem would want than our teshuva, it's the sweetest thing for him.

Welcome,

I know your post was about Hashem and what He wants, but I'm curious: What is it that YOU want?

i want to change but feel like i cant because im so full of shmutz i know i have to change i want to change but all i have is an empty distant feeling

So what precisely is the question at hand for the present moment?
There are several options for a person who finds himself on a sinkin' boat; some of them aren't the greatest.
Based upon your previous post, I'd like to suggest that you change the title of your thread to: "Help; I feel like I'm sinkin'!"

No matter how far you've fallen, you can always do teshuva. The gemara says that even if a sword is on your neck, Hashem can still save you. How much more so here. If you couldn't do teshuva, why wkuld Hashem keep you alive? What purpose would there be? Must be, that you can do teshuva and Hashem wants you to do your best in that pursuit. I know what it's like to look at porn. So many of us here have been there before. But we all know that we have the ability to change. As Rabbi Frand said at the siyum hashas, "it may not be presently in our grasp, but its within our reach". Most important is to not get depressed about it. Yea, it stinks that you looked at porn. So is ot therefore all over? NO!!! Get a filter or accountability program, refocus, smile, and move forward. I know you can do it! If i can, you can.

Welcome!

Hi there! First of all you need to focus on the present moment don't look what you did (or want to) every minute is a new opportunity to do Hashem's will, what does he want from you now? to contemplate on the smutz or go forward, get up and say Hashem I'm your creation I have sined but I want to be better this moment I will do whats right.
Regarding Tshuvah everyone has the possibility even those who have gone far far no matter to which extent.
If you know the Gemara about Ben Durdaya who fell to the lowest of low and reached Teshuva and was then called REBBE, explains the slonim Rebbe to teach the individual to which heights we can reach with teshuvah!

Welcome

I've only been here for a few short month, so I'm not the pro to give advice

All I can say is you enspired me that you reached out and opened up right away. It took me 10 years and a lot of trouble to bring myself to open up.

Your on the right track already, just don't give up. even if you fall again don't give up. You will succeed.

Remember how precious you are to Hashem and how much he loves you and he will always be there for you. Because he needs you

Maybe, forget Tshuva for a little while and just concentrate on what you gotta do right now. The first thing is you gotta stop the destructive behavior than you can worry on making amends

Relax Mr Help. Many of us have fallen WAY farther than you and are living sober lives today. Of course Hashem wants YOUR teshuva. Hashem waits for ANYONE to do teshuva until his death. I know you feel down and unwanted, but we are here to tell you IT AINT SO! Keep posting.

gibbor120 wrote:

Ok Mr help do not do tshuva who wants it anyways but for G.od sake stop now to watch and to masturbate before its too late.