Welcome, Guest
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself

Advice for single 30-something BT?
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: Advice for single 30-something BT? 1168 Views

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 19 Oct 2014 22:46 #241439

  • Pidaini
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • פדני מעושק אדם-מיצר הרע העושק את הבריות-רש"י
  • Posts: 2189
  • Karma: 107
I don't have much to add, I'd just like to thank for expressing yourself honestly and clearly!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 20 Oct 2014 03:33 #241460

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12070
  • Karma: 652
A belated welcome,

Alex, Joe, Inna and others have been sayin' good stuff.
Don't expect to understand it all in one or two days.
We can have sexual pleasure.
Our wives are not our outlets.
We can go on without it.
We should want our wives.
We should not obsess or fantasize over it.

Lust is the killer.

Hatzlachah on your journey.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 20 Oct 2014 15:59 #241490

  • decidingtotry
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • קוה אל ה׳, חזק ויאמץ לבך, וקוה אל ה׳
  • Posts: 20
  • Karma: 0
AlexEliezer wrote:
Thinking about masturbating is also lusting.
And masturbating is lusting.
It's wrong because it feeds your addiction.

When the thought that you need to masturbate enters your head, surrender it to Hashem.
Ask him to take this desire from you.

With daily masturbation, just like with daily caffeine, cocaine, or morphine, you may have given yourself a physical dependence on masturbation.
The longer you go without it, the easier it will be.
This sounds counterintuitive while you're in the throes of it, I know.
But with time, you will see for yourself that it is true.
It certainly won't be easy in the beginning.
Others have done it. So can you.

Daven.


This is great advice. Thank you. The longest I've ever gone is 2 days. I'm starting the 90 Days Chart today. I know I can't completely change overnight but I'm going to try to do the best I can.

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 20 Oct 2014 17:17 #241493

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12070
  • Karma: 652
It's not even about the focusin' on change (which also connotes the future); it's about doin' what's right and worth livin' at the particular moment before you.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 20 Oct 2014 20:44 #241520

  • inastruggle
  • Current streak: 25 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
  • Posts: 1263
  • Karma: 35
Great attitude, Go Get Em, Brother!

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 21 Oct 2014 00:13 #241544

  • decidingtotry
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • קוה אל ה׳, חזק ויאמץ לבך, וקוה אל ה׳
  • Posts: 20
  • Karma: 0
I want to thank everyone here for being patient with me, especially when I've expressed some words of frustration. I'm obviously having a difficult time, and your support really helps. My overall goal is to become to closer to Hashem, and shmiras habris and shmiras einayim is just one part of that for me. I've found it's a very important part because when I do "act out" I feel terrible about it afterwards and feel like my overall efforts to do teshuva are wasted.

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 21 Oct 2014 00:48 #241549

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12070
  • Karma: 652
As you have stated your goal and purpose so clearly, I will state mine (and it is not a big chiddush for the others):

I am here to lead a sober life; actually to be sober for the moment before me.
If that gets me closer to God, that is somethin' that i'd gladly welcome as a side benefit.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Advice for single 30-something BT? 21 Oct 2014 20:02 #241621

  • AlexEliezer
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1933
  • Karma: 55
I started doing this because I wanted my brain back.
I was tired of fighting a losing battle with lustful thoughts day in and day out.
My sick thoughts were inconsistent with who I really am.

Baruch Hashem for my sobriety.

One day at a time.
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.48 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes