Welcome,

we are either lustin' or we aren't.
What are we doin' to prevent it - that is the question.

We look forward to hearin' more from you.

b'hatzlachah

There's a line in the white book (or big book) that says "half measures availed us nothing". It's tempting to try to do it piecemeal, but it doesn't work that way. I tried for years to stop acting out. Little by little, I realized that allowing x but not y, did not help at all.

I made red lines, I will not let zera come out. Then, I will not touch myself. I will not look at pictures... at women in the street. I will not fantasize. The bottom line is, that as long as I held on to any form of lust, it just led to all the rest anyway.

There is a great Or Hachayim that says if we don't guard our eyes from looking and our mind from fantasizing, we cannot expect to overcome the yetzer hora.

We really need a zero tolerance policy.

That DOES NOT MEAN that you should feel bad if you fail at any point.

The yetzer hora tells us x is not so bad. Then once we do it, he tell us. How could you do x. You are such a rasha. You might as well do y too.

We need the opposite approach. When a temptation comes, we need to say, "THIS WILL KILL ME. I CAN'T AFFORD IT". If we fall, we need to forgive ourselves and move on. Guilt does not help in this area. It just makes things worse.

I hope this helps.

WELCOME! You have come to the right place. Check out some of the links in my signature. I've got some good stuff! Keep posting!

shalomyid


Lust is lust.

Masturbation, porn, fantasy thoughts, literature, even looking at tznius-dressed women with improper thoughts - it's all the same poison. One is not better than the other; they all feed the desires and gives them life.