I am 41 when my oldest is b"h reaching shiduchim age, with a big line ke"h. I am struggling with lust since i am 18. I constant look for opportunities to see pictures and/or clips (including porn) of non tznius women and to masturbate through that. the fact that almost all computer and devices are filtered, is stopping me from looking porn, for most time. But still from time to time i get an opportunity to see that to.

I had times that i was for longer periods clean. But lately i can masturbate more like 4-5 times a week, In addition to the s.. that i have with my wife. I am not depressed about this, knowing that i am only a human being that is here to overcome his struggles. I have asked a once close friend to go for me to the amshinover rebbe and ask him his advice on this issue. He didn't advice me to treat it as an addiction, rather as a struggle that i can be"h overcome. he said that as long that i don't actually act out with others, and i have a ratzon to overcome it, i should treat it as a avoda.
He advised that i should be mekabel a knas. Not a money, as he thinks in his opinion that a money knas is not effective. But a knas that the next meal after acting out, i should only eat bread and water. He also suggested that i should learn once a week for a short period like ten minutes seforim that are mechazek on these issues of shmiras eineyim.
I havnt followed this advice properly only for a short period of time.
i am here to get help and support to overcome this challenge be"h.

Welcome,

far be it for me to give advice counter to that which the Rebbe provided.

Let us know how that goes.

Keep postin' and we wish you hatzlachah

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME LOMED!
even if you're following the Rebbes mehalech, you're still helping yourself by coming here and getting the mutual chizuk that comes from being part of the chevra.

WELCOME!!!!

its great to have you here, you say you didn't really stick to the advice of the rebbe so by joining gye you'll get the chizuk you need to follow the advice of the rebbe shlit"a,

hatzlachah merubah!!!!

Writing down your story shows that you really want to overcome this nisayon. That took great gevura and you're to be commended. Welcome to the GYE community!

trysohard wrote:


1 i wrote and disappared! 2 what i understood after going then back and forth with the rebbe, and he was aware of my matzav, and also i told him about GYE, (although not in detail) he held that this not an addiction. and GYE will give support for s** addicts.

Lomed - So happy to have you join the GYE.

I relate to you in many ways. You will see that indeed there is real hope here.

Start off by working on trusting Hashem completely.

Hatzlocho Rabo!

Welcome back.
thanks for sharin'.
Look around here and see what works by others.

b'hatzlachah

Hi!!!

Nice to have you here with us again!

Whats going on?

We need to be honest with ourselves, am I acting out just because it feels good and its a tavah or this is helping me deal with fear and anxiety and pain... acting out for many people is not their problem its my solution to when in feeling down or overwhelemed. You are 41 with children bh and have been doing this since you were 18. Do you think a knas of bread and water is going to get you to stop? We ha e a chiyuv to take care of ourselves, why not go see a therapist that specializes in this field.

keep posting there is no contradiction between the Hamshinover Rebbe and GYE as you know.....But really maybe it could be explained by the famous Chazal: Chochmah bagoyim taamin so really since its a sickness like Chazal call him:(the YH) Ruach SHTUS so that what 12 steps does(LIchoirah)

lomed wrote:

I love the idea of bread and water. I've been doing a TAPHSIC (money to GYE) for a while but recently I've been acting out quite a bit - the TAPHSIC hasn't been working and I've just been kind of bankrupting myself.

try some chasidic dose............................