Hi everyone.

I'm 19, and I've been struggling a lot since I was 15. I just can't seem to stop. As much as I know it's terrible, I just can't stop myself, and I hate it. I've tried so many times already. I'm currently learning in yeshiva in Israel, and I really thought learning torah all day would stop me, but somehow it hasn't. I just don't know what to do at this point, I feel like I've tried everything.

Thank you,
Shmuel

Welcome to the club!
you are in a fine place here.
Tell us please what you have tried.
what worked and what didn't?
Any special triggers?
Have you ever opened up to someone?
You might wanna check the teen threads; there are three of 'em (check by categories above).

Welcome again.

b'hatzlachah

i can totally relate to what you're saying! it feels like wherever i go these days, there are triggers. at a time i also felt like i had done everything to stop acting out, and sometimes i would stop for a while. and then before i knew it, i would be acting out and looking at stuff that i shouldn't. as time will go on, you'll pick up the appropriate tools to deal with your situation. what is your situation? what are you currently doing to work on it? we all have our own nisyonos, and we all feel the pain that accompanies our falls. but the main thing to keep in mind is that we need to focus on the moment. we need to look at what's happening right now. not what happened yesterday, and not even what happened 5 minutes ago. we got to take it one moment at a time. you have tremendous strength as evidenced that you opened up yourself on gye to become a different person. you can do it! we're all rooting for you!

Shalom aleichem Shmuel!

I very much relate to the learning thing.
Like, I'm shteiging so much, why? Isn't Torah the tavlin for the yetzer hara?
I don't know what to say (although many try to explain it in different ways on this site).
Maybe in the zchus of your learning, Hashem sent you to gye!

The more I hang around here, the more I'm learning not to be afraid to keep an open mind and try new things. That attitude helps a lot.

And don't stop learning. Don't stop davening.

Hey

Congratulations on taking the first step -- admitting you have a problem.

Learning torah in and of itself does not prevent you from indulging in lust... in fact if you look at Brachot I think it's around daf Mem, the Chochamim discuss that by developing our rational minds through learning we actually can increase our ability to rationalize wrong behavior.

You are fortunate to have decided early on in your life that this is not something you want to do.

If you have not already, print the GYE manual or if you can't print it, bookmark it and start to read it. It is golden. It is the collective wisdom of many who have gone before you and beaten lust.

Start now and don't waste another day.

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!

steven828
I hear you and feel you. My mentor wrote this for a similar question:

"There are a few things that can be done that may help. The first thing is to make a firm commitment that we are completely giving up lust in all its forms. Next, it’s important to stay connected to people who can relate to what we’re going through, even when we don’t feel like it. Then we can perhaps analyze the feelings we had before we’ve fallen in the past: were we angry, depressed, lonely, etc.? We can then work on dealing with those feelings in a more healthy way. We can also put measures in place, such as filters, to try to prevent falling in the future.

If we are still having trouble after that, maybe it’s time to try something more, like the 12-step program, meetings, or seeing a therapist.

Keep in mind that there are no magic potions or buttons that will make the struggle disappear. It’s important to strive towards progress, not perfection. We have been dealing with this issue for some time (months, years, decades), we can't expect it to just vanish overnight."

WELCOME! You have come to the right place. I wish I had this resource when I was your age. Check out the handbook. You can find it in my signature. See what works. Opeing up is very powerful. It's the first step in serious recovery. Welcome! We look forward to hearing more from you.

Thanks for all of the replies, I really appreciate it. Things I've tried so far:
Setting filters on all of my devices, trying to make sure I'm never alone when I could feel tempted, made a "deal" with myself, requiring myself to give tzedaka if I failed and some other smaller things as well. I've never told anyone before, I'm just too ashamed with myself to bring myself to do it.

Welcome!

I don't mean to pry, but if you let us know what kind of situations you usually find yourself falling in, you'll probably get a few ideas from people who have been there.
Don' get down on yourself. Open up as much as you feel comfortable, and you'll see the chizuk pouring in.

welcome
you're in the right place
hear everyones advice and figure out what works for you

agav on the topic several people mentioned hear of thinking that torah tavlin should do the trick, I just saw a beautiful shtikel from Rav Yitzchok Sorotzkin in Gevuras Yitzchok on Inyaney Bein Hametzarim siman daled where he discusses how this doesnt help b'ikvasa d'mshicha and only surrendering to Hashem helps. (If it is of interest to anyone and they cant get a hold of it I could email a copy.)

Please email it to me; it sounds interesting; thank you.

thenewme613@hotmail.com

thanks

sent

maybe you send it to me also?
or somehow make it available for the oilam?

any suggestion how to do that,
i don't think i can pm you a pdf,
i could email if you give me an address

livlid@yahoo.com