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TOPIC: A new beginning 7244 Views

Re: A new beginning 18 Aug 2014 05:24 #237534

  • ineedchizuk
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I need to take responsibility for myself.
I need to accept my scattered pace- that's who I am.
I need to at the same time, develop structure and consistency, which help me.
I need to stop ruminating about my resentments- real (many), and imagined (many).
I need to get back to being proactive.
I need to snap out of this rut.
I need to count my blessings.
I need to be thankful to Hashem that despite the above, I have been clean for one more day. If I have wasted a whole day, being stuck and overwhelmed, yet אעפ"כ, despite that reality, having remained clean, דיינו!!! Thank You, Hashem, for your matnas chinam!

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 03:24 #237589

  • ineedchizuk
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Today was a less non productive than yesterday.

In other news, yesterday I spoke on the phone to a fellow gye'er for the first time....Dov! !

One great nugget: Serenity= simchas hachaim. ie. My situation (that i lust) stinks, and I can totally, happily live with that. Deep.

Oh, and it also turned out he's not my brother. (Exhale)

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 03:31 #237590

  • cordnoy
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ineedchizuk wrote:
One great nugget: Serenity= simchas hachaim.


Is this (and I know; I left out the second half of the statement ..... on purpose) that I posted the same?

the pleasure of bein' free (from lust) is becomin' as enjoyable as lust itself (and I enjoyed lustin'....to its fullest).
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 03:36 #237591

  • cordnoy
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ineedchizuk wrote:
One great nugget: Serenity= simchas hachaim. ie. My situation (that i lust) stinks, and I can totally, happily live with that. Deep.


I'm gonna try sayin' the above in slightly different words, and this is only my understandin' of it: My situation (that I have the ability to lust at any given moment) stinks, and I can totally, happily live with that (as long as I don't allow that lust to dictate my next move).

[Have I opened up the proverbial thinker's cap?]
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

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Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 03:40 #237593

  • ineedchizuk
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Maybe.
Seems to me that R' Dov's yesod is that when I can accept the struggle even as I'm struggling, that's serenity.
Whereas R' Cordy seems to be stressing the pleasure of being free(er).

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 03:45 #237594

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ineedchizuk wrote:
Maybe.
Seems to me that R' Dov's yesod is that when I can accept the struggle even as I'm struggling, that's serenity.
Whereas R' Cordy seems to be stressing the pleasure of being free(er).


I'm assumin' that you are referrin' to my initial response, which was:
cordnoy wrote:
Is this (and I know; I left out the second half of the statement ..... on purpose) that I posted the same?

the pleasure of bein' free (from lust) is becomin' as enjoyable as lust itself (and I enjoyed lustin'....to its fullest).
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 19 Aug 2014 03:48 by cordnoy.

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 04:01 #237596

  • ineedchizuk
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Correct. I missed your 'slightly different words' post. Thank you

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 04:33 #237598

  • dd
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Gevaldiger point there from R' Dov,

ineedchizuk KUTGW your doing great and a inspiration for all of us,

KOMT!!!!

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 06:01 #237607

  • cordnoy
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ineedchizuk wrote:
Correct. I missed your 'slightly different words' post. Thank you


Well; do you understand how I wrote it? Do you not? Do you not see a difference between the two? I'm not sayin' that there is; just wonderin' what you missed.

Thanks
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A new beginning 19 Aug 2014 09:43 #237615

  • ineedchizuk
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Yes.
I missed, as in, when I responded, I did not yet see you second post. I must've been writing my response to your first as you posted your second, kapeesh? :-)

Re: A new beginning 24 Aug 2014 02:17 #237788

  • Pidaini
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Awesome stuff!!!

Thanks for that!!

It's amazing how I can just be cool with life.....whatever that life may be!! As dms123456789 is always writing, just take a deep breath, and smile, all is fine!!

BTW, I had a deep thought on the same track, someone chatted with me and wrote something about "false drama" I responded "all drama is false".....we can jsut relax and enjoy the show!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: A new beginning 24 Aug 2014 09:02 #237797

  • cordnoy
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On the chart it says that your longest streak was 1351 days; is that correct?

if yes, what did you do then?
Can you replicate now?

either way...b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A new beginning 26 Aug 2014 21:55 #237987

  • ineedchizuk
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Really struggling to get out of a rut. Again, not lust related, but certainly the kind of stuff that in the past would've been automatic triggers, and currently means not prioritizing properly, or being productive enough, which is always a stone's throw away from acting out to help me avoid or sooth the pain. There have certainly been many times this week where I was very close to 'just looking' or some other 'just' that very well may have caused me to be miyayesh, and act out just to get it over with.

At the same time, I need to get back to focusing on, and being thankful for, the successes, specifically, that I am BH clean one more day.

Cordnoy: The number of my longest streak is an approximation.
It was during a few years where life was considerably less stressful and complicated, and, frankly, I was generally in a happier state. I was able to manage to 'just not go there'.
I'm thankful for those clean times.

I'm basically trying to do the same now - to just not go there. But I agree with you, and I need to see in what ways I can make life less of a pressure cooker, and work on true simchas hachaim. I guess more nisyonos bring with them more opportunities to truly grow.

Re: A new beginning 26 Aug 2014 22:02 #237993

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How will you go about doin' that?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A new beginning 27 Aug 2014 13:39 #238060

  • Pidaini
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Sounds a little rough, I can certainly relate (as you well know).

Are you in touch with anybody for real? There are so many little things that we just can't possible write, and speaking it over with a friend has helped me tremendously!!

Also, Hashem's line is always open (even for cordnoy). Give Him a ring, I've been surprised many times by His calming reality, maybe you will too!! (You can see the "Talking to Hashem" in my signature, I was maaaaaaaarich over there, and if you are surprised, please share your experience there)

You know how people say "we're there for you"? That is really great, but for me it has only worked if I take them up on it and I actually join them!!

We're here for you!!

KOMT!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
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