Since I have been here, I have enjoyed more than 270 days of Taharah, increased emotional intimacy with my Eshes Chayil, and a realization of what counts in life. It has been great so far. Last week, we had an avalance of home repairs , bills for communal obligations, and my Eshes Chayil was so busy with some chesed obligations for a close friend that we basically had a store bought Shabbos which I don't enjoy. I think that my kvethching about what needed to be done in the house and Shabbos ticked off my wife and it impacted adversely on our physical intimacy as well. Last night, my Eshes Chayil went to a dinner that I was not interested in , and I was able to both avoid porn and masturbation, which I would not have been able to in the past. My boss has been away for a day and probably most of today. In the past, I would have surfed a large number of porn sites, but I am going to avoid doing that as part of my committment to remaining Tahor.

yyyyaaaayyyyy.
Way to go. Doesn't it feel great to be able to control yourself? (after the fact that is)
what an ispiration.
KOMT!!!!!!

Good Job! KUTGW! (keep up the good work)

GEVALDIG!!!

keep on sharing such kind of news!!!!

SIB101854 wrote:


How? What's your secret?

There is no secret. However, a realization that a wonderful Eshes Chayil , children, eineklach,a very dear aunt and a MIL who has accepted me as a son and community are far more important than a tough job with a boss with a nasty temper, and a family of origin which I have at best a distant relationship. I would add that having a strong sense of seder or order as to everything-from how you get up to how you go home, and when and how you go to sleep helps a lot.

Thanks for sharing those words of wisdom. We cannot argue with success. We can try to learn and follow in the footsteps of our heroes. Thanks for giving us that opportunity.

Hatzlacha

MT

I am no hero-but I know where, how, why, and what triggers off my going down the proverbial rabbit hole of porn and masturbation. It is a daily struggle and fight, but so far so good.

Beuing able to control oneself is great.

SIB101854 wrote:


WOW! Thank you soo much SIB for those tremendous words of chizuk!
I was able to apply the general message of realizing Hashem's Goodness to me, to help in the chizuk of keeping on track, and as for the particulars, a big part of the details were applicable to myself too.
So Thank you, and may your chizuk to others be a zechus for your continued Siyata Dishmaya in succeeding in your own avodah.

Thanks for letting us share your well-deserved success with you. You're an inspiration. B'hatzlacha!

Sometimes, my boss is out of the office for the entire afternoon, and is gone for the rest of the day. Prior to arriving here, I would use that time to read, and download lots of porn. Since I have been here, I have been Tahor-it is a day to day battle, but the encouragement of my Eshes Chayil, the chevra here, and the wonderful Chizuk emails have helped me enormously, as well as my own realization of what is important and what really matters in my life.

SIB101854 wrote:


In the course of my recovery, I've come to see that the real trigger, what's really driving my urge to act out, is my selfishness and self-centeredness.

That, for me, is the real trigger. And when I work on that, it automatically keeps the urge to act out further away.

I thought you might relate to that; bring a new dimension into recovery.

Good luck,

Elyah

That's a really good point, Elyah, and one that's been increasingly dawning on me as work this program. GYE even recommends volunteer work as a way of handling addictive behavior, which, until now, I never considered. I guess this also relates to idle time and isolation, states of being which not only afford the addict opportunities to act out, but also push the ego squarely into the center of the his universe.

Hi, Eye! Nice to "see" you again .

Good point.

How have you been?