Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 11490 Views

So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 May 2014 17:02 #231225

  • SIB101854
  • Current streak: 2173 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 475
  • Karma: 24
Since I have been here, I have enjoyed more than 270 days of Taharah, increased emotional intimacy with my Eshes Chayil, and a realization of what counts in life. It has been great so far. Last week, we had an avalance of home repairs , bills for communal obligations, and my Eshes Chayil was so busy with some chesed obligations for a close friend that we basically had a store bought Shabbos which I don't enjoy. I think that my kvethching about what needed to be done in the house and Shabbos ticked off my wife and it impacted adversely on our physical intimacy as well. Last night, my Eshes Chayil went to a dinner that I was not interested in , and I was able to both avoid porn and masturbation, which I would not have been able to in the past. My boss has been away for a day and probably most of today. In the past, I would have surfed a large number of porn sites, but I am going to avoid doing that as part of my committment to remaining Tahor.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 May 2014 19:56 #231231

  • unanumun
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 671
  • Karma: 93
yyyyaaaayyyyy.
Way to go. Doesn't it feel great to be able to control yourself? (after the fact that is)
what an ispiration.
KOMT!!!!!!

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 May 2014 20:41 #231240

  • gibbor120
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • Posts: 5250
  • Karma: 158
Good Job! KUTGW! (keep up the good work)

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 May 2014 22:19 #231254

  • dd
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך
  • Posts: 878
  • Karma: 42
GEVALDIG!!!

keep on sharing such kind of news!!!!

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 07 May 2014 18:35 #231297

SIB101854 wrote:
Since I have been here, I have enjoyed more than 270 days of Taharah...


How? What's your secret?

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 07 May 2014 23:12 #231307

  • SIB101854
  • Current streak: 2173 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 475
  • Karma: 24
There is no secret. However, a realization that a wonderful Eshes Chayil , children, eineklach,a very dear aunt and a MIL who has accepted me as a son and community are far more important than a tough job with a boss with a nasty temper, and a family of origin which I have at best a distant relationship. I would add that having a strong sense of seder or order as to everything-from how you get up to how you go home, and when and how you go to sleep helps a lot.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 07 May 2014 23:50 #231315

Thanks for sharing those words of wisdom. We cannot argue with success. We can try to learn and follow in the footsteps of our heroes. Thanks for giving us that opportunity.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 May 2014 00:38 #231324

  • SIB101854
  • Current streak: 2173 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 475
  • Karma: 24
I am no hero-but I know where, how, why, and what triggers off my going down the proverbial rabbit hole of porn and masturbation. It is a daily struggle and fight, but so far so good.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 May 2014 04:48 #231344

  • SIB101854
  • Current streak: 2173 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 475
  • Karma: 24
Beuing able to control oneself is great.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 May 2014 11:51 #231362

  • shivisi
  • Current streak: 193 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 393
  • Karma: 19
SIB101854 wrote:
realization that a wonderful Eshes Chayil , children, eineklach,a very dear aunt and a MIL who has accepted me as a son and community are far more important than a tough job with a boss with a nasty temper, and a family of origin which I have at best a distant relationship. I would add that having a strong sense of seder or order as to everything-from how you get up to how you go home, and when and how you go to sleep helps a lot.


WOW! Thank you soo much SIB for those tremendous words of chizuk!
I was able to apply the general message of realizing Hashem's Goodness to me, to help in the chizuk of keeping on track, and as for the particulars, a big part of the details were applicable to myself too.
So Thank you, and may your chizuk to others be a zechus for your continued Siyata Dishmaya in succeeding in your own avodah.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 09 May 2014 05:22 #231406

  • TalmidChaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 405
  • Karma: 21
Thanks for letting us share your well-deserved success with you. You're an inspiration. B'hatzlacha!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.

Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 09 May 2014 05:22 by TalmidChaim.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 09 May 2014 22:21 #231460

  • SIB101854
  • Current streak: 2173 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 475
  • Karma: 24
Sometimes, my boss is out of the office for the entire afternoon, and is gone for the rest of the day. Prior to arriving here, I would use that time to read, and download lots of porn. Since I have been here, I have been Tahor-it is a day to day battle, but the encouragement of my Eshes Chayil, the chevra here, and the wonderful Chizuk emails have helped me enormously, as well as my own realization of what is important and what really matters in my life.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 10 May 2014 22:45 #231475

  • Eye.nonymous
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2696
  • Karma: 14
SIB101854 wrote:

we basically had a store bought Shabbos which I don't enjoy.

I think that my kvethching about what needed to be done in the house and Shabbos ticked off my wife and it impacted adversely on our physical intimacy as well.

Last night, my Eshes Chayil went to a dinner that I was not interested in


In the course of my recovery, I've come to see that the real trigger, what's really driving my urge to act out, is my selfishness and self-centeredness.

That, for me, is the real trigger. And when I work on that, it automatically keeps the urge to act out further away.

I thought you might relate to that; bring a new dimension into recovery.

Good luck,

Elyah

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 12 May 2014 18:33 #231574

  • TalmidChaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 405
  • Karma: 21
That's a really good point, Elyah, and one that's been increasingly dawning on me as work this program. GYE even recommends volunteer work as a way of handling addictive behavior, which, until now, I never considered. I guess this also relates to idle time and isolation, states of being which not only afford the addict opportunities to act out, but also push the ego squarely into the center of the his universe.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.

Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 12 May 2014 21:04 #231588

  • gibbor120
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • Posts: 5250
  • Karma: 158
Hi, Eye! Nice to "see" you again .

Good point.

How have you been?
Time to create page: 0.51 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes