I come from a chasiddish background, very frum parents, I was always not so self confident and because of this I have social problems.I never had that warmth so I looked elsewhere. When I was 15 I was looking at other people and trying to look even under the table. My head was wrapped around this. It was always in these such things and in any place: Beis Midrash, the street.

One day,after I was married, by mistake, when I was home I was playing with hotlines and I reached some numbers that were really bad. I got connected to people over the phone and started speaking with them… When I started working, I started searching around on my work computer. I had no filter so it didn’t take long till I started to search out bad sites. I sometimes met girls on the computer through websites but I never actually met them.

My wife found out a little bit about this ,but Baruch Hashem she eventually accepted it when I told her that I was working on it and we started working on our intimacy. One of the best things that have worked for me is filtering my computer. Also my Rabbi and friends are trying to give me chizzuk and make me feel happy. But I am still struggling and occasionally fall back to my past ways.

Hey hatzadik nice to meet you, firstly welcome!! This place is amazing its like a wonderland full of friends, chizuk and awesome advice your gonna love it and congrats on being able to post that itself takes guts. WELCOME TO THE FAMILY
Firstly I must say I'm in no way the guy to give chizuk, ill leave that to dov and pidani etc. I know their really good at it (I speak from experience) but ill try and see if hopefully I can lift your spirits.
Firstly its amazing that your wife can accept this many many women won't ever look at their husbands again (check out this link) url=guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/223778-Busted]busted[/url] so u should be amazingly grateful to her.
Second its great that your working on it, I found that for me the problem wasn't the messing up or the acting out but rather the lusting, I'm far from finished with this but I know that I can't afford to walk down the street and stare at women's (fill in the blank), or "by mistake drop something" when I'm at a family meal and get a peek under the table or let my thoughts wander and imagine; what if she... or imagine; if I could... THATS POISON ITS A SLIPPERY SLOPE TO HELL. Not sure if u read the handbook or attitude book yet that, this site offers, they are both amazingly helpful but they say a important yisod " out of sight out of mind" its not the final act that's the problem its the entire day of drooling after every skirt on the street that's the problem.
Falling is something I had to learn the hard way isn't gonna stop on a dime, it sucks I know, but imagine this, 2 weeks clean and I mean thoughts and eyes included that's 336 hours clean or 20,160 minutes clean! And then you have a fall that takes I dunno an hour or so, do u realize how much you've gained! Its almost dumb to get upset over that, Of course we all do and also of course I'm not saying its ok to mess up even once in a blue moon I just know for me I have said many many times that I'm done with this never again and within a few days I was right back there so I'm just not getting my hopes up. There are many cute lines I could tell you and many inspiring words, but I think its best if u know that the fact that your here means that your willing to make progress, that u wanna do better and that itself can't be measured in how amazing that is AKA: amazingness... You don't need chizuk you are chizuk! the fact that you posted here, numerous people are gonna read your thread and say hey if he can post why can't I ? and they will. What you need is help in dealing with the nisoyon at hand, and don't worry you'll become such an amazing person through this process, you'll see it first hand, your mentality will change, less selfish and more caring and noticing of other peoples feelings.
So to sum up yes falling and acting out stinks, its the worst feeling in the world but don't think all your effort is worthless till that point, the fight is the important part, every time we say no to our desire we just jumped a level in recovery so welcome and I hope you find what your looking for here and I'm sure you will, but don't feel bad, that never helped anyone at all just use that to see where you went wrong and pick yourself up dust yourself off and get right back to it
HATZLACHA!!

Welcome hatzadik!!!

I am "chassidish" (whatever the real meaning of that is) as well.

I can relate to the lack of confidence, therefore my acting shy.

What do you mean that you are still struggling, what are you still struggling with?

Hop on board, make yourself at home, and post away!!!

Hi hatzadik, WELCOME! You are among friends. We all have the same problem. Read the handbook. Post on the forum. You have taken an important first step. You have come to the right place.

I have some good links in my signature that you might want to read.

It's nice to have you with us!

Welcome! Its great to have you!

Its amazing you have such an amazing wife!

Check out Skep's tips. They have helped me a lot.

Good work! Keep it up!

hatzadik - Welcome on board. As you can see, there is plenty of Chevra ready willing and able! Keep building yourself up one day at a time!

welcome hatzadik!!

we all want to hear from you and be me'chazek each other so hang around and keep on posting

kol tuv!!