So here is the question. I keep looking back at the 2.5-3 yrs I've been struggling and I tell myself that I really lost out on life growing wise in learning and as a person because of this and its a depressing thought. But here is the question did I really? Do we necessarily not move forward in other areas bec this is kinda like a anchor, of course we don't completely stand still but can we grow as much as we would've had we not had this?

hi mr clean!

we can actually grow with overcoming this issue much more any other growing this help us grow in all other parts of life because we really start living real life, which is the biggest growth we can reach, yes we did loose alot of time and growing but we can make that up be"h.

the name of the game is focusing on the future not crying over the spilled milk, אין והיה אלא לשון שמחה as the seforim explain is that if we focus on the future that is a loshon of simcha because we need to focus on the והיה what will be not what was.

kol tuv and a gut chodesh of simcha.

you can get depressed over lots of things and of course, we can't make it up...what's gone is gone (and im not discussin' teshuvah here)....but that being said, we can overcome it; we can gain from what we have learned thru these challenges; we can use it to help us along for the future....lookin' back is (mostly) never a good thing.....lookin' too far ahead is also a recipe for disaster...for us fellows....baby steps....focusin' on what is directly in front of us....b'hatzlachah

I think the answer is an emphatic yes. Our emotional and spiritual growth has been stunted because we never learnt to deal with real life like mature adults, instead using porn to numb us from what we were too immature to face. So the way out is to stop using porn as a solution to our problems and instead face them like men, with emotional maturity.

One of the problems I personally face is this type of wishful thinking and being annoyed at myself for getting me into this mess. It's a distressing feeling. So my first thought is to distract myself from the feeling by watching some porn. However, to recover I have to learn to just deal with the feeling, experience the feeling and address it like a mature adult. That means letting go of the idea that I can somehow change the past, and just draw a line under it, learn from it, and start trying to act like a adult from now on.

What I'm trying to say in a very convoluted way, is that the question itself is part of your problem. You want to know how badly porn has affected you in the past. Why? So you can go back in time and change it?!

I think this is where acceptance comes in. Accept where you are today. Stop asking such questions and just accept who you are. Then you can start dealing with what you have, not mourning what you don't have.

In short, what everyone is asking you to ask yourself is "Where are these questions going to get you?

KOMT brother!!! One Day At a time!!!