Can some1 help me Pleeeeease????!!!!!!!

Last night I had a miserable night! [Sad]

Yesterday was day #5 for me since joining GYE.

I've been having trouble with temptation the first 4 days but managed.
Last night i was lying in bed and my hands kept "pulling" toward down south
they felt as they had power of their own
I kept fighting it
But i was going craaaaaazy!!

I was about to give up and let it go-
Suddenly i felt a strong need to pee-
I got up and went to the BR-
When I was coming out I said to myself maybe i should seek help from GYE
- so I went to the computer and logged into GYE.

First I found a suggestion to "Write YOURSELF a letter"
I started writing and writing and screaming (in the letter) and begging and pleading etc etc etc
- I went on and on with crazy force!
Finally I hit the SEND button with such force that I almost broke the keyboard [and the table]!
[I sent it TO MYSELF!]
Then I began looking around the site for ideas about how to overcome Initial withdrawal symptoms-
and...
I was on here until 5 am!!!
Then I had to get back to my bed becuz soon my wife would be waking up.[wer'e both early risers].

and, my friends ...
Although I wasted the whole night on here - and I'm exhausted and drained, both psychically and emotionally,
But-
I AM STILL CLEAN TODAY!!!!!!!!



But I'm not sure I can handle this much longer

So any ideas how to deal with "withdrawal symptoms"???????????????

Good job staying clean.

It takes real mesiras nefesh to give up a night's sleep. But in John Loftus' words, "Here's what I predict, I predict that today" you will be very tired and stressed out and have an even more difficult time.

What's the suggestion?

Get a life! I know from my own experience, when I was acting out I didn't leave time for anything else, I would often stay up late at night thus killing the next day. I never even had time to think about my potential. Sit down, think about what your talents are, what you would like doing, and try doing it, find some other fulfillment in life.

Best wishes, Tanchum Zeeshe

I have a day job! this happened at night!

I hear you, I've got similar experiences. Honestly, you gotta start from the bottom and make your way upBy this i mean a complete life change just like TZ said. Its an attitude adjustment. Read the attitude handbook and keep speaking with people here.

In the meantime, at night, maybe say 5 more minutes and then I'll fall. Try to delay it. But don't fight it. If you fight it, your done. The yetzer is much more powerful then we (alone) are.

Good luck, but really you gotta start from the basics.

I find your post very inspiring.

A Tikul Leil, to keep clean!

You did not waste a night on GYE, this was a holy night!

What helped me, of course, was davening to Hashem. Exactly in your position, when I was desperate!

I also wrote out a list of steps, of things to do before I fall. (This is all in the GYE handbook). May be say a perek Tehillim, have a drink, go for a walk, listen to (kosher) music. Even if I fell, the strength of the Yetzer was weakened.

Above all, do not give up.

Hashem will take you out of this, just as He took the Yidden out of Mitzrayim!

This is a historical fact, that we attest to many times a day.

Hashem will take us out from today's Mitzrayim too. No question

Keep smiling!

Keep busy. Distraction works the best. Read a good book before you go to bed. Listen to music. Do anything to keep busy and keep your mind occupied. Call or PM or email or text a GYE friend. We are all in different time zones. Someone has to be up. Fighting temptation head on, even if you are successful, is a miserable existance.

Hatzlacha! It does get easier over time.

You still here?

As everyone has said, it's not for us to fight head on, staying in the ring trying to punch the YH harder. We need to get out of the ring, find something else to do.

When I find myself in situations where I have nothing, yet everyting, to do, I made myself a list of the things that pop up in my head right after wasting hours on the computer. "Why did I do that?! I could have been A) Saying Tehillim Learnign something easy C) posting...." Once I had that list it slowed me down from compulsively going to the computer, and I started something on the list. It helped me a lot.

KOT brother, you're worth it!!

Pidaini:
Your #3 was "Posting". Do you mean here on GYE? Well that's part of what I came on for. It did help for the fight against acting out but how would it help me from not spending a night on the computer?
Thanks for the response and the chizuk.
Your Great!
KOT

Yes, it was posting on GYE. If you haven't noticed, I have this thing about sticking my head into every thread that I oassibly could, it keeps me busy.

After I was finished posting I'd usually feel tired enough to go to sleep. Now, if posting doesn't feel real enough for you, then don't do it, it'll just backfire (it's done that to me before "Hey, there's nothing to write....I might as well open another tab....")

I guess there is a difference of when I can't fall asleep so I need something to do in that time, that's when the list really helps, and if after doing one thing I still can't fall asleep, then I go to the next thing.

But if I can't fall asleep because I'm fantasizing or obsessing over the need to go to the computer, then the list won't help much. I need to get out of my head then, and the only I have found is by talking, both to Hashem and to friends (or chatting with friends online).

KUTGW Brother!!!

I appreciate that you do not want to be spending the whole night on the computer, even if it is posting on GYE.

But getting out of Lust has to be the number one priority. Posting on GYE throughout the night is a trillion times better than acting out!! ( That's an understatement).

So why worry about "wasting a night on the computer". If it helps you to recover, there is nothing more productive!! Is waiting in the ER room and getting treatment at the end a waste of time? Look at the recovery, not at the waiting time!!

Of course, as things get calmer, and you become "sober" the need to find other means of distraction will lessen.

Thinking of you!