I have tried to use this site before but I retired from it because of my inability to admit the embarrassing situation that is a lack of control.
Now I'm older and wiser.

It is okay not to be perfect, but it is important to be honest with myself. The pleasure I get from overcoming the desire is worth more than the feeling of the action ever will. So why does that not work when I "lose control?"

Because logic is stronger than emotion, but emotion is quicker.

I can beat myself up every time I mess up or I can work on a plan. The plan is to control my lack of control. It has worked in the past and I am working to make it work for good.

How? By systematically messing up. Cold turkey is better but doesn't work for me. So I need to realize when I am:
Lonely, Angry, Stressed, or Bored that I need to stay away from my triggers (internet, computer, etc.) At the beginning, that means doing something else. Just about anything else until I can't control it. Then I will delay it for an allotted time. Each day I will add to that.

It won't go perfectly but it is a start. Initialization is half the battle. The easy one :p

Welcome back to GYE!

Would you mind sharing your previous username?

We are all in the same boat here, and we all know from experience that sometimes falls happen. Falling is not failing, as long as you get back up and keep moving forward.

There's really nothing to be ashamed about - we're reaching out to give you a hand.

Hatzlacha!

Same username. Didn't post anything previously.

I have an impulsive nature (whether with alcohol, gambling, or internet) and therefore have less control when I'm not prepared.

I've worked on it with doctors and sometimes friends but it is a lonely journey often.
Thanks for reaching out. I will try and see if the forums are helpful for me.
Best.

Welcome Back!

Perhaps you are too hard on yourself? Just an observation because of your first point. If you are, that makes 2 of us and I am sure many more on this forum are as well.

Anyhow, could you share your story with us?

Not an exciting story. Just wearing my emotions on a hidden sleeve.

After failing to get a job in my industry, I became frustrated with myself and even though the economy was lousy, I blamed myself.

I tried to have extra faith but that made me more disappointed when things didn't get better with the jobs or with relationships. Dating knocked me down a peg or two and I hit some low points in which minor depression made me feel like an absolute loser.

That is when I began acting out to the point that I felt I needed to stop. It doesn't make me feel less lonely or better. What it relieves from stress, it increases either in guilt, loneliness, or lethargic feelings.

It gets to the point where acting out is a way to confirm that I am not married, lonely, & not in a meaning relationship (as if I'd want one with someone willing to display themselves for money and no self-respect. Yes, Judging them

This world can be very lonely and when you feel lonely and you have low self esteem, the internet can ruin your life. Or any other addiction. I have an addictive nature and if I'm not trying to destroy my esteem with the internet, I'm trying to destroy my reputation with gambling or destroy my confidence with depression.

I have seen positives and it is a long journey. There are no cheat code shortcuts; which I would gladly take if available to me.

My income is low, which makes me insecure with dating, which allows me to follow bad habits (gamble, internet, depression) which demotivates me because of the lack of control and allows me to be idle or leads to the other bad habits. Nasty cycles.

I have hobbies but I am rarely motivated to do them. All talents take effort but the internet is easy. No effort at all and minimal rewards for it. Just as a casino does not have clocks or has an ATM every 1000 feet, the internet allows for easy access to mess up with free access to anything. Society often commends the behavior but they cannot deny the negative effects acting out has on people. I've read several studies about internet drying up confidence, destroying intimacy in relationships, and giving people unrealistic expectations of looks and self image.

These days, I am trying to set short term goals and follow through with them. I either expect perfection or constant failure but I will work on it and try my best...eventually. Sometimes my best is just thinking about it. That's a start.

Welcome back HHJR613!!

I can completly relate with the making goals.....and not reaching them, and becoming upset.

One of the biggest points that hit home here on GYE was taking it one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other.

Stick around this time...You're worth it!!

Welcome! It's nice to have you with us.