HI everyone,
I am hopefully going to start dating soon and had a couple of questions about dating and if the topic of this addiction was brought up during the conversation.

Some background info on me: I am 22 and have had a problem with mast since my early teen years. Was doing it at a clip of 2X+ a day. Since 1st year BM I have been trying to work on myself and I have gotten it down to once to twice a week. I understand I cannot push of dating forever and would like to start soon.

With that in mind and me being realistic I will probably still have this problem. (Please don't take this as me being negative. if you asked me a year ago I would have said I will be over it by now but I know myself and this a real struggle). So I have been going back and forth with myself if I should tell the girl if it gets serious. Therefore I would love to hear your stories if you told the girl you were dating, at what point and how. For those who did not tell, if you could go back would you tell?
Thank you

Welcome! Great question!

First of all, marriage will not fix the problem. You seem to be aware of that. The next question is, how will your masturbation habbit/addiction (circle one ) affect your marriage? How will hiding it affect your marriage? What if your wife eventually catches you (as mine did ) - how will that effect your marriage (hint: it won't be pretty).

You did not mention pornography in your post. Do you have a problem with porn as well?

Here are a couple of posts from the Q&A section:
www.guardureyes.com/gue/rtwerski/startDating.asp

guardyoureyes.com/articles/questions-and-answers/item/do-i-have-to-tell-my-date?category_id=281

guardyoureyes.com/articles/questions-and-answers/item/three-reasons-to-date-someone-who-has-recovered-from-sex-addiction

Hatzlacha!

welcome aryeh!!

You got some good stuff there in gibbor's post, i will just say welcome!!

Stick around, you may find that you will be able to tell her "you know I once upn a time had this issue......."

hatzlacha Rabbah!!

I am not one to give advice, but I can offer some insight. My rebbi's favorite saying is that marriage only fixes one problem: being single. Do you have a rebbi or someone older you can speak to that can give you advice regarding the issue? Online you'll get good advice but it will only be that. In person you can really open up regarding your battles and get some truly helpful tachbulos for the future. If you don't think it will be an issue later on (which you do or you wouldn't have posted) just read my ongoing thread.

If you don't tell her, it is not a good way to start a relationship.

If you do tell her, and she still wants to marry you, would you want to marry a woman that's fine with her husband masturbating?

Take this advice from those of us who married without first dealing with this problem...

DEAL WITH IT FIRST!!!

There is a great group of people here who stand willing and able to support you and help you reach your potential, meet your bashert, and bring moshiach.

More info please--

Are you lusting during the day?
Are you checking out women (histaklus?)
Are you fantasizing?
Are you looking at untznius pics of women?

If you're not doing any of this, then I wouldn't tell your future wife.

If you are doing this stuff, you may be a lust addict, and maybe you should get sober before you start dating.