Keep giving us chizzuk, you are indeed a chizzukmachine! KUTGW!

אשריך
פתחת פתח טוב לעוברים ושבים
in your zchis, we will use you as an example not to give up, even when caught/
you are the best.
keep us posted

so my wife became a niddah this week and it's caused somewhat of a setback in our relationship. #1- physical touch is very important to her and helps her feel close to me; #2- she doesn't feel motivated to go through all the halachic hoops and jumps in order for us to be together, mainly because (a) it's usually very difficult for her anyway: it feels demeaning to her and as she's a little bit of a feminist she finds it oppressive and takes it personally to mean that there is something wrong with her; and although usually: before all this happened I could talk her through it and encourage her; (b) since the incident: she doesn't feel like she wants to go through all of this for a husband who isn't exactly the man of her dreams at the moment after all he's done to hurt her (me)

Whereas before she became a niddah our relationship was improving and we were talking a lot and actually getting very close, this has proven to be a significant setback and is causing her to distance emotionally from me and end up talking less with me. Any advice would be great and I appreciate all your input!

sounds like a difficult situation
show her that you love her even when you can't be physically together
KOT (trucking and Talking)
Hashem has helped you pull through much more seemingly impossible situations He can help you through this one too
KOT (Talking to Hashem also)

You started off by saying that physical touch is very important to her. Is that a motivation for her?

Either way, just stay positive and suportive, and show her that you love her in non-physical ways. IY"H, she'll come around.

Hatzlacha,

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

any updates?

Unfortunately, feminists have brainwashed ,many women ( and some men) to view Taharas HaMishpacha and Hilcos Nidah as oppressive, when, in fact, it s a mitzv ah totally entrusted to a married woman. There are many sources thatview Hilcos Nidah as a means or refreshing the emotional committment between spouses so as to enhance physical intimacy when your wife is not a Nidah. Unfortunately, far too many of us of both genders simply are never what it means to be emotionally intimate during a chasan or kallah class or a review shiur.

Whoa holy moley I just stumbled on this thread and I read straight all 5 pages and I gotta tell u chizuk machine ur a beast! (In a good way its American slang )
wow I would've totally gone insane and caved had that happened to me. u get credit here on so many levels! and of course so does ur wife and never forget that. But this, as hellish as it has been, just from reading your posts I, a complete stranger, can see that you've changed. You seem like a fuller person someone who cares and feels and that's so awesome... were rooting for you all the way !! keep it up, gods clearly on ur side even if its not so clear! And don't forget to tell ur wife that she rocks the house! And don't forget to tell urself "so do I !"

Mr. Clean beat me to it but wow. You are incredible. I am not married but whoah i felt like i was experiencing your story with you. It felt like a movie (in a good way:)) I just had to keep reading it. Really amazing work you are doing. Keep it up. I hope i marry as great as a wife you have who supports you and loves you through anything.

KOT!

You have come along way and may God lead you gently through this latest trial.

If you feel yourself slipping a bit
I am wondering if you have discussed SA with your therapist or considered it yourself?

To all: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. Thinks have been going really well on our front. My marriage has gotten stronger than it's been in a long time and we are communicating, in many ways, better than before this all happened to me. I'm not ready to proclaim that this is the best thing to have happened to me because it's not until I have five years from now under my belt that I'm ready to say I'm the least bit comfortable. (Philip Seymour Hoffman was sober for over 20 years before he started up on heroin again a couple of years ago, and we know how that turned out.) But my marriage is strong and even when my wife and I argue we end up better for it because we are COMMUNICATING. Of course I occasionally slip up, but I'm far better than before and moving much closer towards shlaimus. I have no access to internet in my house and it's changed my life in many ways. I am able to come home from work and spend time with my wife and kids, go to maariv, learn and really connect with G-d. I don't just "veg out" watching whatever meaningless shows or surfing the web. Occasionally my wife still feels distant, but overall our marriage has improved tremendously. I'm still seeing the therapist and no: he hasn't felt that I need SA . . . yet. We'll see as time goes on.

Yes, I am american. Happy Presidents Day!

wow, incredible progress. Keep it up!

chizukmachine wrote:


Wow! What a geat way to live and enjoy life. Thanks for sharing that. I think many people around here would lead a more enjoyable life if they follow your recipe.

Takes some self-sacrifice ... but well worth it.

Hatzlacha

MT

Yes as my friend Machshovo Tova


I removed the internet from home long ago, I strongly advise everyone to do the same, my only access is at work.

Much Hatzlacha