Hi All,

I am new to the site but have been struggling with these issues in a number of forms for a long time. I am married with a family but my issues predate them of course. I have had some stretches of being "clean" over the years but not lately. Because of the private and embarressing nature of the problem and my lack of resources to get proffessional help it is hard to know where to turn and hope this "Olam" can help me to lead the type of life we are meant to live.
A major problem is the aveira gets so internalized I don't really believe I can live without it and dont have the will to fight it like I used to.
Thanks and I am looking forward to growing together!!

Welcome! You have come to the right place! Your story sounds very very similar to many others here.

Have you read the handbook? There are some very creative, effective tools to use that are described there.

Keep us posted. Having a chevra is half the battle.

It's nice meeting you, looking forward to getting to know you better!

Welcome Jordan!!!

You're story does soud familiar, as TTS wrote it would be worth reading the handbook, it will give you a feeling of where you are holding, and which steps to take.

The private and embarresing part has just changed. You can open up here, we are all in the same boat, we all understand. What have you tried, what hasn't worked? Hopefully you will come to the point where you will be able to make contact with real (safe) people, and open up to them, as that is what has helped me more than anything else.

As for the last point of feeling that we can't live without it, that is not just you, it is the way we all felt/feel. That is what we have to work on to know that it is not so.

Stick around, Keep on posting!!

Hi Jordan,

Welcome. This place has been so valuable for me as well. I started last week myself and it gives tremendous chizuk!

WELCOME JB! You have come to the right place. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hey Jordan,

I think everyone of us used to think that we couldn't live without it. Stick around, stay in touch and you will learn the truth.

Good Luck
Eli

JordanBloom wrote:


Relate.

After over 30 years of lusting, lusting became my identity. It really started to take over my mind. It was my only true happiness.

It's not easy to give up (duh, take a look around this forum!).
No drug is easy to give up. We cling to it and it clings to us.

If we're fortunate enough though, something tells us we simply can't keep carrying on like this any more. Some of us need a stronger wake-up call, like getting caught by the wife or the boss, or the police. Or finding out how miserable we are making those we love (who me? I'm a great husband and father! -- trust me, anyone who is in active addiction is neither, despite the self-serving self perception.)

Check out this thread for lots of eitzos. Don't try to plow through it all at once. Read some each day.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/219536-Welcome-New-Members%21

You will succeed if you commit. Start putting one foot in front of the other.

Start with one truly clean day. Not just from porn and masturbation, but from lusting.

Welcome!

Alex

Hey there JB (is your last name soleveitchik?), how's it going?

Hi Holy GYE Kehila,

I havent posted so much the last few weeks but just wanted to thank all of you who have been my great friends (mostly through IM and phone) and who run this site.
Will continue to have GYE as part of my life but I needed to say THANK YOU for all that you have given me.
With Love,
D