Hey guys,
I've been lurking this forum for the past week and decided to try for real to break out of this world of sin. I have, indeed, tried a few times in the past to stop it completely but failed utterly. In the past 10 years I have not gone more than one week without doing it. (I am 22 years old). It started with impure pictures, then videos, then sex. Truth is, I never tried to stop it like I am doing it now, with GYE's assistance and a plan. So far I have 5 days, since I joined GYE and pledged to give it a real shot. I have to say, shemirat einaim work wonders, especially in my country. I live in Brazil, so you don't lack opportunities to look at unmodestly dressed women. They are simply everywhere! Each time one crosses my eyes, I either turn away, or close them, without thinking.
My current plan:
-Absolutely prohibited myself of taking my smartphone to the bathroom, even if I just want to play games while I take care of my physiological necessities.
-Going to the mikvah at least once a week and praying with the morning minyan
-Subscribed for the daily chizuk
-Read GYE material
-Put a filter on my router, so all devices that connect to it can't access known treif websites (I have the password, but that's all I got for now)
-Studying Torah on a daily basis
-Focusing on sports to escape the urges (running, going to the gym, etc)

That's it, and I will keep you posted.
Good luck to everyone!
May H''KBH grant me 90 clean days!

welcome
you are joining with a running start
good work
maybe give the password to somebody else

either way, welcome aboard and may you have much success

Great start!

My name is Eli. Welcome to the club.

Welcome. Snowflake is an interesting name for someone from a part of the world that's never seen snow.

But anyway, one of the lessons you'll learn here is to focus on each day. While 90 clean days is indeed a lofty goal, instead make your goal to stop for just one day. And then renew that goal every single day. I personally stopped counting days because it doesn't matter. It's just a number. Let's say you get to 90. Then what? You're free to go back to watching porn? Obviously not. So take it one day at a time.

Good luck, my friend.

Snowflake wrote:


Welcome Snowflake!

אם יהיו חטאיכם כשנים, כשלג ילבינו

If your so-called 'sins' make you feel like you're in the red, with Hashem's help you will be cleansed and they will become as white as 'snowflakes'. Just stick around and iy"H you will find what you need to get you on the right track.

Hatzlacha

MT

הנותן שלג כצמר
Shulem Aleichem to this Holy Kehile, where er are all in the same problem, and no ur not alone, and with סייעתא דשמיא we will get helped and healed

just start ur focus on a Day at a Time this is the 1st key to keep it up
we will keep iy"h in touch, and please keep us posted

Ur Friend in Same Situation from Boro Park, looking fwd to see u around here

Hey guys,

Thanks for the support! I'm very happy with the ahavas isroel in this forum! It starts making more sense why H''KBH sent us such issurim. It's because we can unite our forces and combat it together. Also, since it's not an easy task, the reward is pretty good too

@cordnoy
You're right, it is dangerous to keep the password.
I'm thinking of better ways to protect myself. It is though, a temporary fix.

@chulentking & machshovo tova
Indeed, we get snow here in the southern parts like once every hundred years or so. Idk why I picked this nickname at first. Actually I registered it and afterwards I thought, maybe it's not so good to have a nickname that alludes to "white", but then I read Machshovo Tova's interpretation, so I think it's kinda cool :p
I will make it my sig :D
You're also absolutely right, I just set 90 days as a mid-range goal, because like GYE has emphasized, it's a turning point. Anyway, I do realize it's an everyday struggle, and I can never relax my guard. Like an alcoholic can't take a sip of alcohol, I can't sip lust.

@Eli

Thanks

@ddmm11219
Thanks for the support! We are all gonna beat the YH together.
We will keep in touch.

One thing I forgot to mention that's really helping me out is doing the Tikkun Haklali on a daily basis (except in Shabbos)
Also, if it serves as a Chizuk for everyone here, I come from a non-frum background and have exposed myself to a lot of treif stuff. But with the help from H''KBH I will make a full teshuva.

Good luck to everyone!
Still clean,

Snow.

Hail Snowflake! I bet you don't see so many snowflakes in Brazil!

If the tikkun klali is helping you that's great. May I ask what you mean by hoping Hashem helps you "make a full Teshuvah"?

Yes, Teshuvah is a big deal. But is just being clean today not good enough for you? Is it not good enough for Hashem?

Or maybe by "a full Teshuvah" you just mean that He will help you stay clean. Is that what you mean, amigo?


By the way, if you have not yet read the first two paragraphs of the sefer "Chovos Halevavos", take a look and this post will make more sense.

Continued hatzlocha! Arrrivva!!

Hey Dov
I sure don't see many snowflakes in Brazil haha
What I mean is that I'm not frum yet. I don't eat non-kosher meat and I do try to order kosher food every now and then, but my kitchen is not kosher and I still go to non-kosher restaurants. Also I've practically begun keeping Shabbos a few months ago. I have kept Shabbos in the past, then stopped, and now I'm back for good.

Although sure, being clean today is my goal. Like you all say, every day is day one. I'm begging day and night that Hashem helps me get clean just for today.

I'll take a look!

Thanks for the heads up!
6 days and counting, I'm in the chart.

Hatzlocha for everyone!

Keep up the good work!

If youre not an addict, Hashem will help you get clean .... if you help yourself.

If youre an addict, I'm not sure.

b'hatzlachah

Sweet!

Have you been using the AISH website? Its a good resource for all things Jewish, and there is also the Chabad site, and other great Torah sites all over, that have info and may help you meet people you'd like to meet or read about them, at least...and real people is where it's really at. As much as I love GYE, it's not 'Judaism'.

And do you really mean that in becomeing religious, being clean is your main goal? It seems to me that the Torah and the overwhelming majority of basic Jewish books hold being pure in high regard - but do not say that it is the point of Judaism. They seem to say that the goal of a Jew is the positive: the honest, close, and loving relationship with Hashem. Mussar and Chassidic works develop this idea the best, but they are based on Maimonides (RaMBa"M), Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart) , Mesillas Yeshorim (Path of the Just), and other great basic texts that talk of basics of faith, meaning, etc. Even the more recent texts of the past 150 years or so (Chassidic works, and mussar works like Tanya, Michtav m'Eliyahu (Strive for Truth) and many other great works that do write a lot about sexual purity, explain that it is a condition for closeness to G-d - not the closeness itself.

No matter how important it is not to have an affair, marriage is obviously not all about not having an affair! Everyone undeertands that marriage is about what you have and do and are as a team - not mainly about what you don't do that is bad.

Same with purity. It's absolutely necessary - but it is not the definition of 'Judaism'. Now, some recent people have made Judaism all about their focus on purity, and imply that if you have that you've got it all. But I suggest they miss the boat badly. Please don't go that way. For there is real substance here in Torah. Pretending that it's substance is mainly not what others are doing, is a travesty.

As the Kotzker Rebbe said it: If I am I because of my self-honesty with who I am - then I am indeed myself, and I see you as yourself, too. But if I define myself by not being like you - then I am not myself and I am misunderstanding you, as well. He was obviously a genius.

Have fun with this, brother!

You're right it is not enough to stay away from the prohibitions, now I don't mean to brag myself, but the point is, I have been praying shacharis, mincha and the daily psalms every day for the last seven years along with Tzitzit and tefilin. Arvis I used to go back and forth, but now I have prayed it consistently for a year or so. I´ve even done Tikkun Chatzot sometimes. I've been going to the synagogue on all Yamim Tovim and nearly every Shabbatot, and I´ve been studying with a Rabbi for seven years or so too. I´ve studied some Tanach, Kabbalah, Tanya, Breslov Chassidus, Talmud and other topics.
Currently I'm studying my first two massechtot without chavruta (couldn´t find the time to arrange one, but now I'm almost done with both of them). Also I check Chabad daily
So, although there are certainly other areas in which I can improve, such as being kosher and going to a Yeshiva(I have never been to one), I see sexual purity as my next big step. And it's not only about not acting out. My jewish friends like to go to parties often, and needless to say, everything is quite treif, even if none of us get a girl. And up until two weeks ago, I used to join them in these parties. My path has been a slow, but a consistent one, with setbacks every now and then. Now you may say going to the yeshiva is even more important and I may just agree on that, but for sure, both goals can be attained simultaneously. My main impediment of going to Yeshiva right now is that I'm working with my parents, and they already don't like the idea of me going "frummer". Add to that the fact that I won't be working for months. I might still though try to push for a couple of months.

Now I don't mean to contradict your counsel of Mussar study, I actually enjoy reading some Mussar. I´ve read parts from Mesilas Yesharim, a commented version of Pirkei Avos and some other books, but right now I'm giving more thought to Talmud, Tanach and Kabbalah. I will, though, definetely take a look at Chovos Halevavos.

Regards

WELCOME snowflake! It's nice to have you with us. The support and chizzuk of a group definitely helps a lot. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Wooh, you are doing so beautifully! No, I did not mean to say that you need to learn mussar. All I wanted to do was say that even the classics do not say that purity is the totality of yiddishkeit, just as fidelity is not the totality of marriage.

You have my utmost love and respect, and best wishes for your continued beautiful work.

Please pray for me as well, I will PM you my full name if that is OK with you.

Hey Gibbor! Thanks! It sure is nice to keep getting such support.

Thanks Dov, I believe you, I mean, if I believed purity was everything, I'd be in trouble long ago . Maybe my non-frum background even helped me to prevent feeling overly guilty about being impure and kept me going forward without feeling down (it's not like I had been doing all the mitzvot all the while). But now I feel that being impure is something that holds me back in my life, and now, with GYE, I can overcome it. Not through traditional means, though. I'm reading the 12 steps. To be honest, I feel better already. I'm exercising more, eating better, living better and most important of all, studying and praying more. I just hope to keep going, one day at a time

You may give me your name anytime. I will pray for you.
In exchange, I may ask you to pray for me that HKB''H help me get to Yeshiva :D