It's Elul....and I've given up. Talk about 'olam hafuch!' I'm stonewalling my wife and being angry with my children, all because I can't take it anymore! I'm so lonely. So aggravated. So lost....

Hi I remember you! Welcome back. You're among friends here.

probably before my times, but welcome anyway

oilam here is here to help

you came here for that reason, so don't give up!

Hi. Relax. Just remember that the choices or mistakes that you make - are only "your" choices or mistakes before it happens. Its always going forward. Once the mistake happened, you know now that it never was supposed to go ANY other way. It went exactly the way hashem wanted it to go. Now you know that it wasnt a mistake in the first place, as it was willed by the one above. He wanted that you should have that mistake happen to you. Its for your long term benefit, regardless whether you can identify what that benefit is. Review this holiest of thoughts avery single day, and SLOWLY it will seep into your heart and mind and it will open your eyes to the true non -stop goodness that is really happening to you - even during the sin itself. For more on this life saving Torah truth- you can buy R. Tzvi Meirs sefer- he has tens of pages on this.

Whether or not He wanted it to happen and whether or not the sin is good for you, there is still a concept of teshuva, which involves charatah. I am unsure if you should be telling someone to relax regarding the sin.

Concerning recovery, one should probably focus on the future, or perhaps, the present.

We'd all love to help in any way we can, but you haven't told us anything. Maybe it would help to write exactly what the problem is.

Hi Cordnoy. Sorry for not being clearer. By telling him relax, I am telling him simply that there is no room for fear,anxiety, worry, negativity etc. in the life of e jew. Any one of those thought is purely the workings of the tumah disguising itself in the form of Teshuva. Its an extremely powerful tool that was handed to the yetser hora, as we see it affects all of us to one degree or another.
The holy work of teshuva, is one that engenders feelings of warmth, closeness to hashem , positive energy, JOY, etc.- Its of the holiest mitzvahs and like all avodas hasehmem, is to be done with as much joy as humanly possible.