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TOPIC: From Heaven to Hell 8569 Views

Re: From Heaven to Hell 03 Sep 2013 06:13 #218294

TehillimZugger OFFLINE Platinum Boarder לבד הנשמה הטהורה Posts: 2446 Karma: 34	I won't win. Hashem will win. I enjoyed reading this thread. You remind me of a guy I know who calls himself TZ. He's very respectable in real life. He wants to "win" so that he can be fully respectable. Being respected is ridiculous. Respecting Hashem is gevaldig. Welcome to GYE.
	?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: From Heaven to Hell 11 Sep 2013 08:08 #218828

mggsbms
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I just read your thread and felt like im reading my own writing. Ive struggled with the same question, i could go on clean for longer periods and then boom for no apparent reason i fall, then its very hard to get up. ive been struggling a lot this past year and could not get up try as i may, lately i have been clean its going on six weeks now, and the push was an outside motivation. i think the fall comes from a deep unhappiness that takes me over, maybe depression not sure, but maybe you should look into the time frame of your fall if there wasn't some emotional issue that took hold of you.

Aka - Mischadeish075 Email mischadeish075@gmail.com

Re: From Heaven to Hell 11 Sep 2013 09:42 #218831

RebYid90
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How dare we let fear play a role in our lives
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howdy

wow, a whole year clean. if i did that and fell, idk what id do or were id be. i always thought it was beatable and if i could just get out id be fine, but im starting to see that, just like many other things , like lashon harah or other midos that need work, its a life time, never ending battle. but i guess i take comfort in the fact that while streaks r great, its more the fact that even when you fall, you still get back up, like rabbi reismen spoke out on the shmuz thats on GYEs home page. anywho, shkoyach for posting KOT KOT

"....You start giving to others, and you’ll start to see your pain fade away.... If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don’t like. Kill narcissus.Kill apathy. Kill the shameful selfish looser inside of you. I had an old self that I killed..... You can kill yourself too, but that doesn't mean you got to stop living...kill the part of you that's all you and nobody else, because that's the part that makes you want to curl up and die"

"Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships?..."

Re: From Heaven to Hell 12 Sep 2013 00:51 #218919

I will win the battle
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tehillimzugger wrote:

I won't win. Hashem will win.

You remind me of a guy I know who calls himself TZ.

He's very respectable in real life.

He wants to "win" so that he can be fully respectable.

Being respected is ridiculous.

Respecting Hashem is gevaldig.

Welcome to GYE.

HASHEM WANTS US TO WIN!!!!! We are on the playing field and of course Hashem is playing the cards and helping us.
I want to do whats right and be a good Jew. For respect?! No one in real life knows I am fighting this (I hope

)

We will win this battle - day by day - they are adding up Boruch Hashem

Re: From Heaven to Hell 12 Sep 2013 00:59 #218920

I will win the battle Current streak: 3606 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 23 Karma: 2	Hi Everyone and a Git Gebentched Yor Ta for all the great tips and links. BH still clean since R.c. Elul and fighting the battle in full swing.....day by day

Re: From Heaven to Hell 12 Sep 2013 15:35 #218981

I will win the battle
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RebYid90 wrote:

Yup, you hit the nail on the head! I have learnt exactly this point from what I experienced a few weeks ago. The GYE handbook puts it down very well: When they tested out a soldier in the olden days in Russia, they always faced him against a real tough opponent, and put him on a horse. THE MAIN FOCUS WAS HOW WOULD HE REACT IF HE WAS PUSHED OFF HIS HORSE. Would he give up hope and stay on the floor, or would he get back up and continue fighting.
Much hatzlocho

Re: From Heaven to Hell 12 Sep 2013 22:09 #219048

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Good to hear you're back on the horse! Gmar chasima tova

Re: From Heaven to Hell 31 Mar 2014 19:25 #229554

pischoshelmachat OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 492 Karma: 42	Good Morning Reb "I Will Win", I see you are once again on the threshold of the "Wall of Honour" I just want to tell you that you are a great source of inspiration to me. I hope one day soon I will be Zoiche to that milestone. Right now I beg HKB"H to give me today as a good clean day. Yehi Ratzon Shetishlach Hatzlacha B'maasei Y'deichem

Re: From Heaven to Hell 31 Mar 2014 21:27 #229570

cordnoy
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Uch!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: From Heaven to Hell 01 Apr 2014 13:00 #229605

dd OFFLINE Platinum Boarder כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך Posts: 879 Karma: 42	uch what?

Re: From Heaven to Hell 01 Apr 2014 16:59 #229608

cordnoy
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"Hope" one day soon I will be zoche.....me know, and P.S.M. knows that "hope" will get us nowhere!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: From Heaven to Hell 03 Apr 2014 02:44 #229746

I will win the battle
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Hi everyone, it's been a while

BH I reached 90 days this week. Yes, I have reached this milestone in the past, and even much longer, but, as someone on GYE told me, it's not all about quantity it's also about quality.
When I first heard about GYE it was a livesaver - literally, but I just'watched from the side'. Meaning, I thought if I read up on forums etc that is all I need to stay sober. 4 months later, I learnt the hard way, that this is not so. This led me to SA meetings. BH I have learnt and am still learning so many tools to keep lust under control. Taking it day by day,praying to Hashem for a lust free day, praying for others etc etc.

I just want to say, without GYE,and what it offers, I probably would have stooped even lower.So thanks all you gret guys out there - you are a constant source of chizuk to me

KOT

Re: From Heaven to Hell 27 May 2014 03:27 #232494

Sparky
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@IWWTB
Great work on the year. That is AMAZING! It sounds like you really are down and worried about the future right now. Many of us are or were in the same place.

If you are looking to try something new maybe try the phone conferences. They are anonymous. You don't even have to say that you are on. You can just call and listen.

I personally fought for years but now I have no strength left to fight. I gave the to G-d and He Helps me in ways I can't help myself.

I know that when I heard about the calls I did not want to join. I was afraid that I would be admitting to myself that I was an addict or a pervert or some-kind of weirdo. I was also afraid that people might find out who I am.

With time those feelings left me. I will say that if you try a call out you have not admitted anything. You just sat on the call for a few nights. Nothing more.

I personally made some of my closest friends on the calls and although I still fall I am living a new kind of life.

Re: From Heaven to Hell 31 Oct 2017 12:56 #321789

cordnoy
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I will win the battle wrote on 07 Aug 2013 00:54:

Hi
I am new here (a few weeks) and GYE has been a real lifesaver for me. I am still working my way through many of the great threads and other material.
I am 30 years old, been in kollel or half day learning for the past 9 years. I have a special wife (who knows NOTHING) and 4 beautiful kids.
My story (in very short): I have been struggling with HZL since as young as I can remember, and porn and phone sex etc from around 16. I had good weeks/months and bad ones - it was something I never discussed with anyone.
About 2 months ago I completed 1 YEAR clean for the first time. It was a great year, shmiras einayim was great, learning was great, sholom bayis and family life was amazing. I was on a high. And then it 'happened' out the blue, nothing specific triggered it. I had a terrible fall 4 weeks ago and to sum up, since then life has just been a living hell. I have lost my cheshek to daven, to learn, to diet to mix with people etc etc. Things I have been working on and have been going well for years have gone out the window. Since I am supposed to be a serious guy, my wife or others wouldn't even dream I have hardly been in Shul this past month, or what sort of material I have been reading/viewing. Of course I am putting on a show for my wife and kids but I don't know how long it can last for. THEY ARE THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM GOING 'FURTHER' BUT I FEEL DISASTER IS AROUND THE CORNER. I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP AND IT'S SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL. I am so broken inside, just got no enjoyment in life anymore.

Yes, I read the GYE book which is amazing but I am not able to pick myself up again.
I have seen very supportive threads on the forums, and what a great team you are, so I ask you guys please help me to get out of this, to get back up there. I can't fight the Yetzer Horah myself anymore that's for sure, and although 4 weks ago I would not have dreamt of writing publicly on this forum, it's my way of showing I REALLY AM DETERMINED TO WIN THIS BATTLE.

Have you found heaven? One can be lookin' for heaven in all the wrong places. Seems like somewhere along the way you found the right road. We'd love to hear about your journey.

ContinuedContinued hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!