I once heard a great line from Rav Fischel Shechter.

On Yom kippur night we say Baruch Shaim loud because we are like malochim, and on Motzai Y"k we say it quietly.

He asked that it should be the other way round. On Y"K night we come in stuffed from the seuda hamafsekes, not exactly malochim, while on Motzai Y"k we have just finished a day of daavening and fasting, that's when we really are like malochim!

The answer he said, is that what is important is where you are headed, not where you are coming from.

Hi guys,

I have not been around for a long time...... what a mistake..... I was at 35 days clean and booom, cam crashing down!!!!!! I had such a spiritual rosh hashonah and vowed never to act out again!! And now i am back where i started, on the one hand I rely feel like giving up but on he other hand i also feel that this is my tafkid t fight this addiction, i am now going into shidduchim and need to STOP asap I have ben going for therpy fr a year and it has helped me immensley lthough it has not solved the problem altogether...... please I am now desperate and would do anything that would rid myself of this nisayon!!!!!!!! Please someone help me i need advice i am now at te point of despair, my email address is davewave2415@gmail.com. my phone s broken so it might take a few hours to reply......
Anyone who has ANY words of encouragement or advice please feel free....

davewave wrote:


I don't know if this will count as words of encouragement, but I want to highlight this sentence and point out that although I fully understand what you mean, it's not rally true. You don't want to be rid of the nisoyon, if you were, there would be no purpose to your life.

Malochim don't have this nisoyon and Hashem has plenty of them, and yet somehow the world just wouldn't be complete without davewave. It's not about having another creature walking around the planet, it's about having a human who suffers from intense nisyonos and despite all that still tries to be an eved Hashem. That gives Hashem infinitely more nachas than living without the nisoyon.

So in a strange way I'd say embrace the nisoyon, be thankful for the nisoyon and enjoy the nisoyon, because it's the nisoyon that makes you the person Hashem wanted.

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! I have been thinkng tht way and even said just two days ago that I am not going to be oiver but it has just happened!!

first of all mazel tov for making it to 35 days im sure that at one point u thought that was impossible . second of all those victories u overcame r there for ever u didnt loose them. u need to know that each day has its own tafkid(nisoyon) not just each person . now we know kol hagadol mechavairoy yitzroy gadol that is also true as to the time of year(as the tiferes yisroel explains the nes that the kohen gadol never got tumah on yom kippur in maseches avos) (btw yesterday was the t"y yahrtziet) so u didnt withstand this level yet but u will get there be"h never give up just get up and start challenging the new levels of kedushah awaiting u to achieve this year

Welcome back!
I hear where you're coming from.
We've all been there a thousand times.

What do you plan to do differently this time to get a different result?
(hint: you may want to re-read what I posted to you on the first page of this thread.)

Welcome back and stick around!!

Diddo to Alex, what is going to be different?

davewave wrote:


Rid of the nisayon?

Or rid of the compulsion to look at porn (or whatever you like to do) and end up having to masturbate yourself?

Are you really willing to admit how much you like it and open up with safe people in person about what you do and how precious it really is to you?

In other words...are you even willing and reeady to get honest?

If you are, then you may be ready to give up the sweetness of the porn, masturbation and orgasms. Just for today. But if you are not ready to open up to another real person about the truth, then I do not know how one could become free of the lust desire.

Do you?

Something has obviously been missing in your therapy. Has it been on the phone? What kind of therapy has it been? Has it been about getting honest, or about changing yourself? Or about something else?

Sorry so many questions...so little time...