when i was online looking for bad stuff i met a Jewish girl on Google plus. she put me on a better path and sent me here. we only talked through texts and i wonder if we are allowed to video chat since she lives in a different continent, and i can never meet her in person.

Forget Halacha. Do YOU think it's a good idea for YOU?

What would the benefit even be?

She directed you to the support you need. Let her go!

She put you on a better path, sent you here, and now she wants to videochat with you??


Send her to me [second thought, don't.]

i am the one that wants to video chat her

and if it makes a difference we are both in our teens

Just to clarify - you're not interested in her shidduch-wise? Why do you want to speak to her? What do you want to get from it?

Can't be a good idea- she's helped you, now you need to get back to the task at hand. Video-chatting with girls won't help.

That was actually Guard. He hangs out on Google+ pretending to be a teenage girl so he can send guys looking for trouble to this website.

AlexEliezer wrote:



I'm sure guard would be happy to do a video chat .

Really though, It's probably assur in halacha, and certainly not healthy regardless. We are very good at trying to find loopholes though.

Dude, that's the yetzer hara talking that you should video chat with her. Baruch Hashem, you've made it, and clearly you care enough about recovery to post about it on the forum.

I would recommend reading the handbook, and reading different posts/Dov quotes on the forum. Subscribing to chizuk emails is also a good idea.

When I first came here, I did not think I was an addict. I didn't have a filter on my computer; I wasn't careful about who I looked at, or what I watched; etc. I also didn't realize how I was using masturbation as a vehicle for escaping my life and reality.

I now realize that though I'm not an addict (talk to Dov for more information ), it was kind of like an addiction, in that I'd tried stopping and I couldn't.

Several things:

-realize that this is a symptom of a greater problem, and used as a means for escape. Try to find the real problem that motivates all this. It's different for every person.
-define your motivation in stopping from the outset
-shmiras einayim is very important, and a filter is vital
-Life is lived one day at a time


In the year that I've been on GYE, I've discovered a lot about myself and learned a lot.

You're on your own journey, and I'm sure that you'll discover everything I have and more. GYE is a tremendous resource, and you will be a much happier person by the end of it though.

Really, though, I am VERY IMPRESSED that you took the time to post on the forum. Clearly you have some inkling to stop.

The his'orrerus (inspiration), though, is very fleeting. How is it that bnei Yisrael could rebel in the desert so many times against Hashem and Moshe after all they had seen? Like, how could you see the Torah given from the mouth of Hashem, seeing Him speak and everything associated with Matan Torah--and worship an idol 40 days later???

The answer--religion isn't built on inspiration. Inspiration doesn't last.

So, nu--while you are still inspired, stick around and SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY to improve your quality of life and START LIVING.

Share your story with the chevra. We're glad to have you.

As for the Google Plus thing--do what you think is best for you. If you're never going to see her though, it just seems like a self-destructive fantasy that is a means of escaping reality.

Good luck!

First of all, I would still like to hear more about yourself here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/208717-how-can-i-write-a-article-about-my-past

Secondly, regarding the Halacha: There is a kuntress called HaInternet BaHalacha that discusses the many HALACHIC PROBLEMS involved. It is available @ ihalacha.com