Welcome, Guest
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself

whats the point?
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
Reply Topic
New Topic

TOPIC: whats the point? 16524 Views

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 21:18 #210061

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
The big fight is when my therapist (if I continue), my friend and myself colaborate together and say that here is the plan: this is how you are stopping for good.
It seems to me that if I just keep up my mini streaks, that is what they will remain...mini streaks. Something big must occur. That is what I am hoping must take place soon.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 21:32 #210069

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
Well, from my own experience, there is no big fight that must be won in order for it to be over.

We need to just try to make sure that each of our decisions moment to moment are the right ones. If we do that, focusing on each moment as they come up, we can turn the mini streaks into a large streak.

Hatzlacha!

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 21:40 #210071

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
That is true, but I've had too many "mini-streaks" to be confident

I think I need something different this time, something more powerful, something that will vanquish the dragon somehow
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 22:24 #210082

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
When you have fallen in the past, what were the circumstances?

While it is important not to dwell on the past, it is important to learn from it, so you can act differently in the future.

Learn from the past, try to figure out what you could do differently in the future and then let go and move on.

Hatzlacha!
Last Edit: 24 Jun 2013 02:09 by skeptical.

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 22:34 #210086

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
I wish I would know
At the present moment, I have a tayva to do something wrong
Have willing woman on the other side of yahoo
Starting to build
I switch off between her, the gemora and these forums
Hope we go "basar rov."
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 22:41 #210088

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
You need to make a commitment and stick to it. If you keep going back to Yahoo, you are allowing the taivah to build more and more. I've been there, I know.

Make the decision now. Which way do you want to go? Do you want the pain that follows a fall or the happiness that comes from being able to make the right decision?

Hatzlacha!

Re: whats the point? 23 Jun 2013 22:54 #210089

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
Not the pain

Why will this decision be different than all my other decisions?
I know you are right; I just need to convince myself once and for all
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 00:06 #210104

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
You don't want the pain that follows falling. The pleasure is fleeting. It's not worth it.

Past decisions are meaningless right now. Future decisions are meaningless now. The only decision that means anything right now is the decision you are facing right now. If it is the right decision, that is the difference between this one and all others.

Make the right decision now.

Hatzlacha!
Last Edit: 24 Jun 2013 02:11 by skeptical.

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 00:16 #210105

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
This is well put and sound advice
Not so simple though
But I will try
Thank you
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 00:20 #210106

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
It takes a firm decision.

Which do you want? Do you want the fleeting pleasure but immense pain that always follows, or the real pleasure in knowing that you are working on yourself?

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 00:33 #210109

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
Can't argue with that
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 01:50 #210115

  • chachaman
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 211
  • Karma: 10
On a related note, you have to define why youeant to stop.

you need a battle plan like filters, taphsic, attitude, and especially ling with whatever it is u want toescaoe from that drives you to shmutz.

But be honest about yourmotivation. it can bepositive reinforcement (growing closer to Hashem) or negative (like, this is really stupid, a gigantic waste of time, and destroys my life). you have to be clear with yourself; and it cant be for kavod or ga'avah based reasons (that's how I started out).

good luck! i'll try findkng you're other thread. congrats on opening up though!and you're right, read the forum for a lot of advice. it has all you need

Re: whats the point? 24 Jun 2013 02:14 #210120

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 653
Thank you
I know the reasons
1. God
Its wrong
He no like it
Lo sassuru
Lo sinaf
[I do not know why they all say its retzichah; wife cannot conceive]
Ill be b'niduy
Not bemechitzaso

2. Marriage
Ultimately it ruins marriage
Being clean enhances marriage

3 family
More time
They won't be punished on my behalf
Better father
Can better monitor children

4 self
Feel good controlling desires
More time to do job
Clearer head
Walk streets easier

Battle plan has been isolated to phone

I don't search for videos any longer...basically
Problem is skype/yahoo
I have a willing partner where we can act out fantasies
I try to avoid
I have been successful
Inevitably fail at end
And then, I start again...when I'm ready
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: whats the point? 26 Jun 2013 01:38 #210376

  • Dov
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 1960
  • Karma: 383
Hey, cordnoy - thanks for saying thanks to all of us here!

I have a Q for u: Has this particular willing partner been 'your problem' for a very long time now? Or is he or she relatively new, one of a string of such 'problems' over the past few years?

Just curious, amigo.

And just for the record, none of the reasons you presented in the above post were/are motives for me to stop acting my lust out. That's not a criticism at all, just an observation I like to share.

Continued hatzlocha!
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: whats the point? 26 Jun 2013 01:46 #210378

  • Dov
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 1960
  • Karma: 383
A suggestion re some of the things you opened up about here: consider reading the post called "The Nuclear Reset Button" somewhere here on the site. It has some thoughts about what you may be describing with the frustrating and terrible cycle we fall to.

Hatzlocha!
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
Reply Topic
New Topic
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.68 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes