Well said, RGT!

Many who have been successful in their recovery have learned to set aside guilt and other religious motivations for stopping. At least in the early stages of recovery. I stopped because this addiction was taking over my mind and coloring every aspect of my life. Yes, this included feeling distant from Hashem, but that thought alone is rarely helpful. Once a person is solidly in recovery, enough so that they start feeling Hashem in their life again, then this newfound relationship can provide motivation not to cheat.

I don't know much kaballah, but a bit of pirkei avos I do know.

Hamalbin pnei chavero b'rabim, ain lo chelek l'olam haba.

Doesn't sound like much of a mekubal to me.

His advice seems more likely to drag you down than pick you up. I agree, don't worry about it. Worry about staying sober one day at a time. I'm sure that is more precious than dipping in the mikvah (Please no one throw tomatoes at me ).

Davening is a good idea, but avoid DEPRESSION at all costs. Think positive!

I wish you luck with this.
If the Mekubal says go to Mikveh, than I cannot see anything bad with going to Mikveh.
Crying? Personally I would see this as a recommendation to personal prayer, somewhere in a calm place, perhaps a park? Something like Breslovers do?

But I see what this Mekubal said as a positive. He is calling for you to take stock of where you are and use all your resources to go to where you want to be.

Above all, be nice to yourself. I find that strict "Din" fails.
Far better to use positive encouragement than self punishment, we go through enough of that already.

I am new here, but I do know that one day at a time or even one hour at a time, is a good policy.
Actually I take things 10 minutes at a time, it is more manageable.

I'm a bit skeptical (get it?) about mekubalim in Eretz Yisrael. Seems every other person is one.

Seriously, how hard is it to be right about a bochur masturbating?

Anyways, stay positive and keep up the good work, there's no other way.

Hatzlacha!

Just because a guy dishes out advice doesn't mean we should follow him.

To paraphrase R' Yaakov Hillel (one of the gretest baalei kabbalah alive today):

"Tell the guy to say a shiur in mesechta Yevamos first. If he can't then don't bother"

C'mon let's be honest, if he was such a great man then why is he telling someone with SSA issues to go to the mikvah. That's just stupid.

I know that I usually don't write like this, but Rabossai, this "mekubal" is a phony

I can do the same thing. I'll tell someone that he masturbates. Either he does and I am regarded as some magic worker who know people's secret lives or he doesn't and then starts thinking to himself, "hmmm what do I do that just as bad as masturbating..."

Stay far away from these people.

I would stick with Gibbor's advice "Davening is a good idea, but avoid DEPRESSION at all costs. Think positive!"

Disclaimer: I am not from the anti-kabbalah lobby (not at all)

Yeah, and doesn't it say in "practical kabbalah for dummies" something about not dispensing kabalistic advice at airports?

We'll have to wait for the honorable Mr E to weigh in. He is our resident kabalist.

I think that he telepathically sent this to me.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/23-Just-Having-Fun/207301-Practical-kabbalah-for-the-masses?limit=15&start=75#209363

Gibbor beat me to it, but I was going to say "don't worry about what someone who has no cheilek in Olam Haba tells you".

now, I don't want to judge him, and I hope he had best of intentions. But why would anyone give someone advice that they don't know?? every person is different, and that's what rebeim are for--to know each person.

if I didn't know better, id say that "mekkubal" was the yetzer Nara personified--youve made it 19 days CLEAN--NINETEEN!!!!!!!!!! THATS A HUGE ACCONPLISHMENT THAT YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF!!!

so the yetzer hara says "hm, what's the best way to get a New Yorker 94 depressed--oh, by insulting him and negating everything hes done until now, so that he will feel so bad about himself and say "who cares anyway, I'm worthless" and then fall."

don't listen to the yetzer. you are a tzaddik, that accomplishment is tremendous, and KOT brother!!! Every time you guard your eyes you get a huge zchus.

Anyway, best of luck! Keep us posted, and don't let anyone get you down!!

(I happen to agree that the mekubbal himself is probably a phony--in a group of 20 kids, its not that hard to tell one "you masturbate" without jeopardizing your reputation as a mekubbal".)

Thank you ALL for all of your advice. I dont think I'm going to make any decisions until I've actually discussed it with my Rebbeim, but I just made it to 21 days and I don't think I would have done that if I had just started going to mikveh and even crying. My first night of this streak actually I was really down and upset and I had started looking around GYE, and even after all of that sadness I STILL looked at p* that night. Once I realized how much I had to get out of this rut and start thinking positively did it really get easier not to watch p* or m* because it's just not good for me.
Thank you so much to all of you and for the GYE community. I really thought i was on the verge of failing tonight and I logged in to GYE and I feel better now.

reallygettingthere wrote:

NO MIKVA FOR YOU
NOT TOO MUCH CRYING EITHER (It'll bury you under layers of isolation)
DON"T HANG AROUND THE AIRPORT TOO MUCH EITHER

Thank you, again!
UPDATE- Today I reached 22 clean days! Which is very significant because that was my longest streak for at least the past 2 years, which is amazing, and I know I could not have done it without my friends at GYE. Hopefully I will pass day 23 and not only tie that streak, but exceed it.
But this morning (and right now there are 16 hours left to this day) I woke up and was bombarded by the Yetzer Hara telling me "try it, you don't remember how it feels, it's not so bad, you've done enough teshuva so it wouldnt really matter" and I didn't give in, but I know it's going to be a long and rough day. I know, I should take it one hour, or 10 minutes at a time, but I feel like I'm going to fail today. Please give me chizzuk and tips.

The YH likes to remind us of the good times and very conveniently forgets to mention how crumby we feel after a fall. Remember why you started your journey in the first place. Remember how great you feel knowing that you are doing the right thing.

Tell the YH to get lost, you're not interested. Don't even entertain the thoughts. Ask Hashem for the strength to overcome it and then replace the thoughts immediately.

Hatzlacha!

Remember that have an urge doesn't make it certain that you
re going to fall.At all.we only fall when we decide to give in and as long as we don't do that then we're going to be fine.

Of course you already know that since you made it this far.

Also if you're feeling weak then make extra boundaries for yourself so as not to be tempted to fall.

Get busy with something else and stop talking to the yetzer hora for petes sake oops, for Hashems sake. oh yeah, and smile

guardyoureyes.com/forum/23-Just-Having-Fun/14055-TAKING-ATTENDANCE%21%21

Read through the entire thread.

When you're done rewrite it in your own handwriting.

You've got better things to do? Oh. So hurry along then...