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Hit the ground running to the 90 days

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TOPIC: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 2001 Views

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 17 Jun 2013 19:15 #209518

zvi OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 224 Karma: 11	What my Rebbi said is have a target of, say, a week, 10 days/ a week, so you have something to work towards. However, take that target one day at a time. Its the small victories which count. Keep going!
	Life’s a mountain. You just gotta keep climbing…

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 25 Jun 2013 07:04 #210252

organizering1 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 8 Karma: 0	Well the 90 days seem to be outta the question at this point. Not even sure about the 10 days. I don't even know why I should stop at this point.....

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 25 Jun 2013 20:35 #210325

zvi
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So try a week. 5 days. 3 days. Whatever you think is attainable. Even a day if you think that will be an achievement. If you're falling every day, then a day is the best way forward. Is a day not the biggest achievment there is?
Here's something that Dov wrote somewhere else on the forum.
Dov

'One day at a time' does not mean 'just stay clean for today, hold on one more day and pretend tomorrow's coming up for air will never arrive!' That is just plain lying and does no good in the long run. Rather, I think it means that today is really all you have. Hayom is repeated so many times in sh'ma and the Torah because today is always where you are. Yesterday's failure is not any of your business and tomorrows failures are not, either. They are G-d's affair. We live in the present....if we are mature enough and humble enough to do so. Usually we are not, though, and insist on 'fixing the damage' first. Our very common focus davka on 'Tikunnim' before stopping and living clean for a few years, is really nothing but childish gayvoh in religious garb. I know and have been there. Oh - and it does not work, too.

Life’s a mountain. You just gotta keep climbing…

Last Edit: 25 Jun 2013 20:35 by zvi.

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 27 Jun 2013 07:40 #210515

organizering1
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Thank you for responding, and while a good suggestion, it doesn't seem to answer my question (I will hopefully use it later) which is basically why should I even stop for a day. Its not interfering with any particular part of my life anymore. I have become so used to it, whats the need to stop.

Also I don't believe that the p P and M causes people to be secluded and anti social. I think Being secluded and anti social lead to P and M. Just my perspective.

Last Edit: 27 Jun 2013 07:42 by organizering1.

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 27 Jun 2013 18:14 #210542

Machshovo Tova OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1230 Karma: 26	Actually, the choice is yours. You can take the chance and keep it up until it ruins your life to the point where you finally hit rock-bottom and realize that it's a matter of life and death ch"v (and hopefully it would not be too late to turn around). Or you can be proactive and stop while you're ahead and spare yourself all that misery. Hatzlacha MT

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 27 Jun 2013 18:21 #210543

gibbor120
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NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
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organizering1 wrote:

I would stay up late a few nights a week doing softcore stuff no videos b/c I had to keep it secret. This kept me very isolated.

organizering1 wrote:

Also I don't believe that the p P and M causes people to be secluded and anti social. I think Being secluded and anti social lead to P and M. Just my perspective.

Which is it?

Why did you come here? You wanted a way out, right? Why?

If you could stop, do you think your life be better? Why?

Last Edit: 27 Jun 2013 18:23 by gibbor120.

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 27 Jun 2013 21:15 #210563

reallygettingthere Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 759 Karma: 27	organizering1 wrote: Also I don't believe that the p P and M causes people to be secluded and anti social. I think Being secluded and anti social lead to P and M. Just my perspective. The more a person focuses on themselves, the less they interact with others (unless they are using them)
	Roy in the SA White Book noted that we frequently prayed and it did not work...because the best we could muster was begging G-d to "Please take it away, so I will not have to give it up! No amount of sobriety can cure the insanity -ChaimCharlie The emmes hurts but fake chizzuk will hurt more -Bards Remember, best block, no be there - Mr. Miyagi

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 19 Jul 2013 21:20 #212738

organizering1
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I just got from 2 weeks in the mountains. I'm holding firmly to my belief that P and M are not the direct causes of being Anti social. After two weeks of being social, I was all of a sudden not interested in M. It was the the first experience Ive ever had like it. I just got bored in the middle (of course I finished), but that was it! The desire, the fight, it just wasnt there.

Another big factor is that I could a filter, (and I mean a pretty good one this time) I realized the real instigator for watching so much porn was not the lust alone, but the lust plus A LOT of boredom. The boredom is like fuel to the fire, the more fire, the more likely youll act out. One I couldnt get to it, even when a little bored i didnt act on it, b/c the desire for porn was not overwhelming.

These are my experiences and I would love to hear others take on it. I always thought P and M were different Taivos. Now I think that P (or fantasizing etc) leads to M. Not the other way around. With out P, M slowly gets easier and easier to fight.

I've been clean for X days, and it feels totally natural.

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 19 Jul 2013 21:35 #212743

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Boredom definitely leads to aveira. שהבטלה מביאה לידי זימה kesubos 59b. I'm pretty sure there are other similar satements in chazal.
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: Hit the ground running to the 90 days 19 Jul 2013 22:18 #212753

AlexEliezer
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Karma: 55

organizering1 wrote:

I always thought P and M were different Taivos. Now I think that P (or fantasizing etc) leads to M. Not the other way around. With out P, M slowly gets easier and easier to fight.

Hi Organizering, nice to hear from you!
Glad things seem to be improving.

I agree that "P leads to M" and not the other way around. In fact, lusting in general, whether it be ogling women in the street or at work, fantasizing, looking at pics/movies/TV, all of this is the ikkar of our problem. Masturbation is just the release valve. We're addicted to lust. Avoid lust and the rest gets much easier.

Continued hatzlocha!
Alex

Last Edit: 19 Jul 2013 22:18 by AlexEliezer.