P.S.
to free one of his struggle implies that there is something that we want to climb out of.
We are to view it instead as one entity. The struggle and the climbing out of the struggle-there is no need to climb or free onself etc. as the temptation, succumbimg,teshuva afterwards is one holy entity of avodas hashem. This makes it an EASIER and a more joyous experience. That in part is what the bal shem tovs work was, and why hashem gave him to klal yisroel to revitalize them.

This understanding in the Torah about how everything bar none has goodness aka hashem buried deep inside of it, including stuff that we are used to thinking that they are inherently the opposite of goodness such as sin, evil, punishment, cruelty ,tumah, pain,death, yetser hora etc. opens our eyes and gives much more meaning to things that we have learnt and known for a long time.
This concept is behind the famous saying of the big sages that the whole Torah is comprised of "sins". The entire sefer breshis and the other seforim is replete with what seems like "sins" etc. The beauty of this is that the very same Torah that admonishes those very sins is the Torah that became Torah through those very same sins. These "stories" with sins are not just stories - they are the very essence of the what makes up the Torah itself and is what hashem gave at Har sinai and what he used kvayochol to create the world with.
These"sins" and "stories" are the names of hashem themself as the whole Torah is the names of hashem and therefore by essence a source of all goodness which is what hashem is - tov, who wants to do just tov. So while we learn on the pshat level the torah and the lessons that they imply about how we are to behave and how not to behave - we know that on the sod level we are dealing with the holy of holiest way past our comprehension- in the best of ways. So when we for example read about the sin of the golden calf or any other story that on its pshat level is dealing with sin - on the sod level, those very words that describe the sin- are the very words that are hashem himself and the source of brocohs from the source of brocho. All chasidic seforim are replete with the holy depth that is within the words of these psukim and the depth al pi sod of the intent of the holy yidden of the dor hamidbor etc.

sonoftheking wrote:


Thanks for trying to actually be useful by sharing your personal experience rather than your (or Hashem's) wisdom, sonoftheking. So then, when exactly was the last time you masturbated yourself and what were the circumstances?

Hi tzadik. I see that it seems to you that one is being helpful by sharing their personal experience with others. At the same time it seems to me that it seems to you that by sharing what it says in the sifrei habal shem tov with others about what they tought their entire lives to the multitudes of yidden that clung to them for hundreds of years is not being that helpful.Its interesting to me how you got to those two conclusions.

It does say in the seforim all that one needs to know as to how one should conduct his life.There are and have always and always be with hashems help holy and smart people that will help us decipher the torah and its teachings which has all that one needs to know.The creator of the world provided the "problems" and its solutions.
They also write about having good friends to discuss their hardships in all areas of their lives and to get good ideas from them. That is why you have the right idea about reaching out to someone for help.
The concept of asking someone else for help in how they they think that they themselves should proceed with their holy mission is a good idea for someone thats struggling and would like to get some strength and ideas in proceeding and should be done and is done and is one of the many useful tools hashem has created for us to use in our holy mission.
For the questioner to detail their sin to the one that theyre asking of is also a good idea at times if the questioner feels that it may help him to be more specific.
To have the person that theyre asking for help to detail the frequency of their own sin and talk about what they have experienced can also be a good thing if the questioner says to the person- I will have a better tool for my holy mission if you tell me more about it.
At times one may not need to talk at all to someone that has even experienced at all what the questioner has experienced in order for them to succeed.For example if they go to a tzadik or a good yid(all jews are inherently good) and pour themselves out to them- that too is a an extremely useful tool that hashem has provided and one that yidden have and will be doing for centuries.
Hashem has also created that tzadikim,gedolim, good yidden etc. have always and will iyh continue helping the yid not unlike hashem himself, without needing to have personally experienced the very sin that the petitioner is talking to them about. It does not have to be done as a rule. This leads us to the next holy yesod.
Another rule that the seforim bring alot is that a person should never set up for themselves any certain rules that they will stick to in any area of their live rigidly. Flexibility is of the most useful tools too in avodas hashem. One day the rule is as follows(whatever that might be) and the next it might be the exact opposite. As the yetser hora(with hashem in him)tweaks his ways we are to do the same.So in other words- Hashem wants it so there are no specific rules that are in place. THAT IN ITSELF also gets tweaked and so on and so forth. a good and sweet shabos to you and all the holy brothers.

sonoftheking wrote:


???
if i don't set as a rule to never use an unfiltered device, i am putting myself in a situation where i can fall
if i don't set as a rule to guard my eyes, i will trigger, and i will put myself in a situation where i can fall
if i don't set as a rule to go on gye and do the work i need to do, actively, everyday, i will put myself in a situation where i can fall

i may not know as much as you do about the seforim hakedoshim, but i think that when they talk about flexibility, they ar not referring to the rule you set for yourself, but the way you execute the rule.

i never can use an unfiltered device, but what do i do if for parnassah i am stuck and at work i am forced to use an unfiltered computer? then i need to flexible in implementing safeguards to protect myself,

maybe i am wrong,
i wuld love for that to be cleared up

Of course youre a hundrerd percent right.
Filters,etc. and everything else are what we are supposed to do at all times.
(tefila,and Torah etc.)
To have flexibility in out mindset is what they write about. That is a good thing to practice. To always try to be open to ideas and styles that one encounters that may be helpful to them in their holy work and not necessarily stick with any certain mindset or style.A person can think that they have the right idea about how to proceed and may find another excellent idea that might work even better.

Like every middah, flexibility should be a trait in the "derech hamemutza'at", I.e. we tend to neither extreme.

if that is the case, Dov, afreshstart, and I were all flexibile enough to read what you had to say.

try being flexible and consider what Dov is saying? Dov is a big anov, but I'll spill the beans: he's helped many, many people recover, and he knows what he is talking about.

Mind opening up a bit? it cant hurt. also, it might help people on the forum give more consideration to what you are saying. For example, Dov uses his first name and is very forthright, a reason why people listen to him. My name is Robert, and I am a bochur who has struggled in this area since age 12. I have 2 days clean after a 22 day and 12 day streak. I don't care about the past though, because I LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME. And the addiction isn't a matter of ga'avah to say "I have this many days clean" or "until when will I reach the level of Rabbi Akiva or Rebbe Nachman (remember that post way back when, Dov? if not, I'll give the link lol)", or "look at me, I am so amazing for doing teshuvah". I digress.

thank you so much for trying to help this holy battle by doing work on this forum. Keep up the good posts! Just try opening up a bit, and different things work for different people, so it would be unwise to assume that one approach is necessarily correct for everyone if you just tell it to them.

Good luck!

(Also, don't beat yourself up about your past. the point is what can you do TODAY,and like you said Hashem has a lot to do with things. at the same time, be honest about what you did with everyone (as in "I sat on Ny bed looking at an ipod screen and masturbated. I felt terrible afterwards." etc.

be honest. Emes. and don't worry about salvaging a reputation or self-image: because self esteem comes from the fact that Hashem created us, and we are one person, not a person living a double life.

good luck chaver!

The most famous and first step and the one that lots of people always post on the boards here and which accompanies the person on this journey thruout his entire life is of course Torah and Tefila. As it says in the Gemoro - Hamoer shebo yachzirenu lmutov. Hashem implanted all the necessary steps and thoughts in the Torah.The more we toil in the holy Torah(and daven) , the more we will experience this holy and most practical and effective response to all our questions.The more we delve in the Torah -the less we will have to spend time on these boards. The closer we get to hashem via his torah -,naturally the confusion and sitra achra slowly dissipates on its own, without dealing with it directly at all. All of us also encounter people in our lives that seem like theyre especially good and smart yidden- and they are here for us to cleave to and to assist us on our journey. We have the mishna telling us- aswi lecho rav uknei lecho chaver. One needs a good,ehrlich and smart rebbe and a good,ehrlich and smart friend to assist them.

Dov??? Are you there??

Heiliger Zohn Fun Kenig!
If I may humbly address his excellency,
Why are you on GYE?

tehillimzugger wrote:


I am wondering the same

Hi. You are the son of the king,we are all the sons of the king.I shouldve named myself-(one of the kings sons.- my mistake)It is a thought that helps and one that helps me and is a tool that helps all of us in this journey.Telling ourselves who we are, how royal we are,what a holy soul we possess, is a tremendous tool when we are faced with temptation and when I have succumbed to temptation.It is a tool that allows me and forces me to strenghten myself when I fall and pushes me forward.It is something that I reach for to lift me back up. Telling ourselves that we all nobility of the highest level gives us the strength to face the temptation.It is used in all the seforim. People on the boards always write about this too.It is no secret.Use it as well as you already do too and spread it around to all.

To all the holy people that are the driving force of this phenomenal website.
What a merit to be behind and at the forefront of this holy of holiest website!! There are no words to describe the sheer amazement of all of us as to be privy to what a tremendous innovation this holy website is to Klal yisroel. I cannot begin to fathom the size of your portion in the coming world for this. You affect literally thousands of jews on a daily basis in the level of kedusha. I am being helped tremendously by it too. Thank you Thank You Thank you.
I was wondering about something . I noticed that theres some explicit posts to various degrees. In the the holy mission of what it is that that you are doing I am sure you want the very best efforts and means to be used in the mission. I was wondering if you would mind to have some of the Rabbonim that give their blessing to this website to actually see some of the more specific and explicit posts.
Would the Rabbonim think that the best way to go about to increase kedusha in klal yisroel should be done this way. Do the rabbonim think that by people reading the specifics of ones sin in a way that is perhaps not so in line of jewish modesty, that by doing that they will increase the yiras shomayim and be the impetus for another yids improvement in kedusha. Do they endorse or give blessings to have yidden read or write in a public forum the way that it is currently being written by some. Do they think that this is what our predecessors and our greats would think should be done in order to achieve our holy mission of kedusha. Or perhaps they think theres a way of continuing this holy website in a way that it does not have to include the measures that it does and Hashem can manage to have us accomplish even more than we are already are without resorting to our our innovative and well meaning approach. Thanks again for this beautiful website.

Um...
Actualy this is the Breaking free website...
Most people here are cardinal sinners or something like that.
There are moderators whom remove triggering posts (and any body can flag any post they think is inna propriate)
This is a place for getting better,
sometimes that requires honesty....
Like it says in the Holy sforim
(AKA Tzelul Kuten)
And you should tell over from time to tom to a Chaver neeman or to your moreh derech all of your machshovos which aree against the torah AND YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE ANYTHING OUT BECAUSE OF BUSHA.

Welcome King's Son...

Honestly I find that to have a place to vent and write shtissim and read about similar struggles helps, hope you do too!

Hi Mr Emuna. Youre right. It says so in Tzetel Koton.I love your post.
Maybe that means that he shouldnt leave anything out because of busha like you said. By telling all and overcoming his busha - he will break his yetser. He will have busha by having to face his friend his the eye and tell him I have sinned like so.
On this website I dont know if that aspect of breaking busha happens, being thats its anonymous. It also might not be a good idea as its being discussed between thousands of yidden and therefore might be a trick of the yetser to be a breach in tznius. I am not an authority on this. A good and smart ,positive Rov would be useful for this as well.