Was going to tell my Rabbi this morning but it just didn't work. I didn't get any alone time with him. So i am forced to delay until tomorrow. I am a little disappointed. Pidani was pumping me up for it and I was ready. But i guess its just not what Hashem wants.

Tonight before davening Maariv, an attractive girl i haven't seen in a while said Hi, its nice to see you, haven't seen you in a while. Well that kinda melted me. I was a little rattled.

I immediately reached out and got very good answers: look at her as a person, its not fair to her and not healthy for you, talk to Hashem and ask Him to help you do what He wants in this situation (why didn't i think of that??)

Anyhow, Thank God. I always have to remember how sensitive i am and i have to constantly guard my self. On the same token i can't hibernate but i can look at this world differently. This girl isn't a sex object, she is a person just like me and she deserves the same respect that i would want.

Good Stuff!!!

I love friends, where would I be without them?!

KUTGW!!!

KOMT!!!

whoah, today was kinda crazy. I met with a prof about an essay and he basically said that what i wanted to do wasn't going to work. He's not my prof but he knows a lot about my subject. Shocker! Then i went to go get a textbook i need for this say and i couldn't get it. Shocker!

I was completely out of it. OY VEY! What am i going to do about this essay???? Its due next week and its worth an exorbant amount of mark. I was going nuts.

Then I said, you know what. STOP! that's enough. I asked Hashem please help me and stop worrying. It will get me no where. I will think about my essay rationally a little bit later but lets move on!

Life gets tough. Really tough. And we don't know where to turn. we don't know who to turn to (silly us) but we have to realize NO amount of worrying, or stress, or tension will ever get us through. In fact it will just hinder my progress. Me stressing about this essay, accomplishes absolutely nothing. I just have to go step by step. One foot in front of the other and be calm. Easy does it.

Nice work!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

this time you DID thin kof it (talking to Hashem) yourself!!!

Great Job!!!

How did the rest of the day go?

Its been good but i have been spending an awful (poor word choice?) a lot of time on GYE. Like a lot! i used to procrastinate by watching tv, movies, and anything under the sun but now its GYE haha. Thank God though. If this is where i procrastinate so be it

Wow DMS1234 this long fight with your struggles gives me alot of chizuk.
Keep it up!

Wow DMS1234 this long fight with your struggles gives me alot of chizuk.
Keep it up! Btw your not spending to much time here. Guys like me need you here!

First off, wahooooo!!! my 100th post! Thank you so much GYE. You saved my life! I have grown remarkably (but there is sooo much to do, i do admit). I am so grateful that i have not only joined but have been actively participating.

I would humbly like to share 3 things that are helping me:

1. Reaching out: This is probably the most important thing that I have done. I have several people of which i get advice from. They help me so much. Also talking to people on chat helps me internalize principles and helps me learn new ones as well. It also inspires me to hear other people's stories. Because of this, i also like the forum. This also helps me learn more tactics which i can use. Posting on then forum is definitely not as important as personally telling my mentors/friends but it also helps me get out there.

2. Neder: My neder that i made was that i am not going to watch TV or Movies. Usually when i was bored i would just see what was on. I really didn't want to be there because i always had so much to do. Then at sudden points i would always look for something to trigger me but this never satisfied me so i just felt really depressed afterwards. So i made a neder and it has worked wonders. It is helping me keep my head out of the schmutz. (ps there are very strict guidelines for neders so we don't "break them" and go over on a daraisa (i believe said that right))

3. Living Today. I get very stressed. Its a vicious cycle. I look at the mountain of work that I have to do and i get frightened. So i make a gigantic plan but i never end up doing anything. Then i get really stressed because i haven't done anything. So now I only plan for TODAY. What can be accomplished today? Tomorrow is a new day. Lets just see what i can do today. I actually say what can i "start" today so i don't get stressed if i don't finish it that day, i don't go nuts. So i just put one foot in front of the other. Mt. Everest is 29,029 feet tall. So how do you climb it? Just gotta put one foot in front of the other. So to with life: step by step.


On another note something amazing happened today. Yesterday i freaked out because of my essay thats due. But i said whatever, everything will be fine and I asked Hashem for help. Guess what?? I got an extension. what hashgacha!! Also i missed a bus today and got very wound up. Then i started singing the Gam Zu la tovah song, (i forgot the tune but its to a goishe song, anyone know?) Then i felt much better!

Thanks for sharing!!!

That is AWESOME!!!

I feel like I want to start dancing!!!

Dear Rabbi,

I confess, I chickened out. My problems aren’t merely shmiras eiynaim. They are much deeper than that. Because of my past history, I also have problems with masturbation. I don't think you need too many details but essentially since i was a teenager i used masturbation as an outlet for pleasure but also from life. From when i started becoming Frum I realized it was a problem and tried to stop. I couldn’t. Later i found a website called Guard Your Eyes of other Frum people who have similar problems. When i went to Israel this past summer. I managed to find a few guys that got together every week. I loved it and they helped a lot. When I came back home i was and still am in regular contact with them but unfortunately, due to times zones we can't have that much live contact. So they connected me with a guy from Toronto who i have spoken to everyday for about a month and half. He has really helped me out.

I speak with him and others on a regular basis and some of them encouraged me to tell you as this problem rests in our heads and the best way to recover is to reach out. They think it would be helpful for me to have someone who i see live consistantly and also who i already of a kesher with, for me to be open and honest with.

So I am spilling the beans, showing you something that I would rather hide from you, because I trust you, and it is something I feel will help me if I can speak to you openly about it i.e. when a urge comes, or even just to update you on how I am doing.



This is the letter i showed to my Rabbi today. I was still too chicken to actually tell him but he knows!! We had a shmuze after. He doesn't know so much about this addiction, although he does know about shmiras eiynaim. But he has heard of this site. (score one for Guard!)

It is relieving to know that a live person knows and someone that i will be seeing everyday. My question is now what? This is my Rabbi and i do go to him for advice and now he knows, i think, all of my problems. I guess i just keep going to him for advice? Now that he knows, now what?

WOW major step to tell someone who you will se everyday. I am no expert but I think that zchus will bring you much koach to continue. KEEP IT UP:)

big step for sure!!!!!!!!!!

rj is right the zchus will help you come forward and higher more and more be"h.

KUTGW tzaddik your doing great !!!!!

pshh, What a joke! How could I have ever trembled? Thought i was going to fail. There I was sitting in class, getting nervous because i didnt have a group. what a joke!

After class i walked up to my teacher and said i still needed a group and look at that, a guy walked up and said his group could use another member! How could i ever doubt Hashem??? Life is AMAZING! Why fret? Jut sit back and relax!

On another note and with incredible Hashgacha. I was just about to post shmiras eiynaim and the advice my dear friend Skeptical has been giving me. I was scrolling through the forum and someone said he was having problems with shmiras eiynaim. So i posted what i was going to say, but i will still post it here: (ps. all credit goes to Skeptical)

We have to realize that woman are people too. it sounds silly but its true. We have objectified them soo much. We have to respect them as people just like we are people. Just as we would want respect from people so do they. Look at it like this: if the girl your staring at would know the intensity that you are staring at her, would she feel respected? NO! Absolutely not. She would feel ashamed, angry, and completely demoralized.

This is what I think of: She is a person just like me and deserves the proper respect and if she would know that i am looking at her like this, what would be her reaction? (it wouldn't be good)