dms1234 wrote:



Do it!! We don't control what happens during our sleep... If you want take a dip in the mikva - and let it pass!! When the yetzer hora sees he cant get us while we are awake - he sneaks into our minds when we are asleep.. (Try to think of some torah before you go to sleep)

KOT!

KOKOKOKOKOKOT!!!!!!

It is the attitude, work on the inside it is already showing on the outside!!

This is dms1234s brief year in review (this should have been done earlier but whatever)

Last summer I came home from Israel a dry drunk. I was clean about 100 days but after a month I fell. Looking back all I was doing was trying not to fall and not actually connecting with Hashem.

I slowly started to constantly fall, watch tv and movies and get no where.

So this past summer when I came to Israel I knew it was a perfect opportunity to meet fellows gyers and actually start to heal. I met with an amazing group and started working on the first step. I never really understand what admitting powerlessness was but the group made it make sense to me. In fact I realized that truly the step before step one (unless this is truly what step one is about) is admitting that we are addict) at first it is had to admit that we are powerless, as for our whole lives we thought we are the center of the world but to just plain say I am addicted and I love tonmasturbate and with porn is in my mind much easier and step 0.

Anways so I started taking deep breaths which really helped me calm down as lust tenses us up a lot. I Also started saying over and over and whenever I would talk to Hashem: I am acidicted therefore powerlessness. Please save me.

So I am back now from Israel at college and it is tough. There are a lot of pretty woman and as I have said before I used to fantasize to fall (as in make up stories in my head instead of using porn to fall). So its hard but i found that its easier to turn away from them than actually frum girls. I see the pritzus and for some reason i am more attracted to them. Anyways I am starting to fantasize a lot less. I am still gazing but its a step up.

I feel like I am actually working on my self. I am not on any high from the high holidays or from not falling from that matter. It feels good. But i think i need to come out more. I am starting to internalize that I am addict and reach out to Hashem but i need to also, at the same time, reach out to other people. I have no idea how to do this but i am going to start by peruzing the form and talk to people, give advice etc.

So thank God, love is great. But this is the time now that we addicts have to step up. Cheshbon is desolation time. No holidays. We have to start grinding, getting our hands dirty by reaching into the core of our addiction. This is our drug, its our escape from real life. Therefore we have to find out what are we running away from? What is that hole inside of us that needs fixing? So here's to a successful of month of mamash working on ourselves and connecting with Hashem. God is good and so are we!

I know a man with a fiery red beard . My best tip for someone in college with all those vreevoulouveeeeeeeeeertyuies is to imagine that fiery red beard. Just grab the beard and spread it like a blanket over all those vreevoulouveeeeeeeeeertyuies- let them be smothered in its fiery embrace.
Vanquish Vreevoulouveeeeeeeeeertyuies!

As per my last post, i would like to say since coming home from Israel I havent turned on the TV or seen a movie!!! With Hashem's help this will only continue

Ok guys this is ridiculous I need a picture on my profile. I am tired of seeing that stupid head. Any suggestions?

WOOHOOOOOOO!!! Stay away from escape, KEEP IT UP!!!

As for the picture.....how about

dms1234 wrote:

Thank you for sharing this.

just to share what worked for me.

I don't ask HaShem to help me not to turn on the TV. For years i hoped he would do that for me. I hoped that if I would daaven hard enough somehow i would not do the things i had programmed myself to do.

But If I am powerless I surrender and I don't turn it on because i cannot afford to.

And then I am powerless over my obsession which tells me to turn it on or i will die or at the least go crazy without it.

So I surrender and i ask HaShem to remove my obsession and restore my sanity, and yes, I HAVE come to believe that He can do for me what i canoot do for myself.

May He grant us a sober and sane day.

dms1234 wrote:


How bout this

Lol Pidani. lets go with a no haha

wow chesky that is incredible. I have been thinking about surrendering my addiction but i should be carrying that over in this respect as well and others and Amen to that!

reallygettingthere: perfect! Now how do i take it from you and bring to my profile? hmmm

Chesky: How come you don't come to O.I.N.K. meetings? [This was an official invitation]

dms, now we just need Trying to give your logo a nanach yammy

I was wondering why you don't come to SA meetings?

Thanks for the invite. i will bli neder try to come. Let me know when the next one is.

tehillimzugger wrote:

Would you like that for here or to go?

No extra charge for the peyos...

tryingtoshteig wrote:


Awesome!!

hahahaha too bad I'm not a nanach. Atleast if it was a striemel, i perhaps could use it because of pote have chassic roots.

Some big, crazy, news for you that turned my life upside down. Will explain tommorow. (sorry for the cliffhanger)