YT was great!!! I think i danced more and harder than i ever have in my life!

I have done some thinking of the future, particularly envisioning my future wife (not just how she would look. Cmon I'm not that low! ) and i keep reminding myself of a quote a fellow gyer told me: "save the future for the future." I don't need to think about the future. It will be great when it becomes the now. But right now, i should live in the now, instead of living in the future as living in the future is useless because i cant act in the future. All it is, is dreaming.

So i will save the future for the future! I am sure my future wife will be awesome and i can leave it at that and carry on with my life!

your future wife will be as awesome as you are .

The thought of a DMS5678.

Wonder what their kids will be like.

Devorah Malka Shultz?

the kids will be dms9101112 and dms13141516

dms1234 wrote:


Good for you!
I'll share a ha'arah I had over yom tov. I always thought that when Hashem makes shidduchim, that he chooses the best person (or other half- if you prefer it that way) for you to marry in order for you (or both of you) to attain perfection.

I always saw that as a one shot deal- that under the chuppah you are together with your perfect partner.

I'm now married for many years, and I believe it's a lot more than that. The miracle is that every second of my marriage to this person is exactly what I need at this point in time in order to attain perfection.

If it's true-That is just amazing- because we change, and yet this other person provides me every second with the perfect opportunity to attain perfection!

I don't know if this is true or not, or maybe it's poshut- and everyone already knows that. Either way, it really added a lot to my Hallel over Yom Tov.

My point is that it's not just a good idea to focus on the present- it's also useless to try to picture what your Kallah will be like (although I think most of us marrieds will admit that we did it too),
because you're both going to change and it will be irrelevant what your expectations or desires were- other than to cause you much anguish.

I'm not sure if any of that made sense to you, but I share it in case it might help.

Hatzlacha!!!

nice

i'm not sure though why one shouldn't solely focus on the present....

cordnoy wrote:


Of course you should only focus on the present. I was giving another reason why it's a bad idea to be picturing and imagining the future...

neshamaincharge wrote:


ok...whatever....keep it up

Sh'koyach!

OH MY! My thread is on the second page! Oy! I better post to fix that.

Life is good and crazy but i am trying to relax and realize everything will get done and turn out for the best.

A little while a go, i learned this lesson as i was at a wedding and I was going crazy cause i wanted to daven maariv. I was worrying and worrying and finally i decided to set up my on maariv instead of waiting for it to happen. I should have been calm and asked myself if there was something i could do about my situation. If yes then GO! If not, then drop it. So i finally acted and it payed off!

Lust is awesome but its really not good for me. I actually don't even enjoy it that much. I think i need to be scrupulously honest with my self when i am in certain situations and actually ask those hard questions. Should i really look at that attractive girl? Is watching this movie really gonna help me? Is acting out really gonna solve my problems?

The answer is NO! NO it wont. And of course I suck at making proper decisions so I ask Hashem to please help me make the best decision.

I don't like fighting. It doesn't me help me one bit. I just take a deep breath and Smile because Hashem is watching over me. When i am calm, life is good. I really cant win. I cant beat lust. Its too powerful. It always wins when i fight. Its like a quicksand. The more i fight it, the more I'm going under!

And for Heaven sake's i am too hard on myself! I think i suck! That i cant do it. But really I CAN! I CAN DO IT! Why? Cause Hashem loves me! And he has shown me time after time that I CAN DO IT! All those negative emotions are poison for me and one drop will tear me apart.

I just gotta keep on going! One day at a time. All that matters is today. That's all i should concentrate on, causes that's the only realm where i can currently act.

dms1234 wrote:


Wow lucky you got your fix. If only I would get my fix who knows if I would ever make it to gye. B"h I don't get my fix and i'm here to grow.

The rest of your post really is what I need to hear so keep them coming. Really very beautiful and meaningful post.

KOP and KOMT!!!!

I got a very embarrasing message from my mentor today who keeps my password to my filter which has accountability software attached. He said he can see that I am watching pornography. I said what???? I did? and he said.....



Well I am addicted to GYE but its not quite porn hehe!

Baruch Hashem, I have not watched pornography today!

I have an announcement to make:

GOD IS GOOD!

That's right! I said it! God is good! BH I just finished "Gehinom week!" From last Friday to this Friday, I had 2 midterms and 3 proposals due. Thank God, i am here today! Can i say the shechiyanu?

Thank You Hashem for helping me through this hard time!!!!! Its been tough but I did it or perhaps I started it and You finished it. Nevertheless it feels good and I know that i need to be more prepared for next time. I leave things to the last minute but thats ok. I am getting better.

With the help of my dear friend skeptical (no actually, that's his name!) I have managed to separate myself from my work and therefore my stress is much less. So thank God and BH for shabbos! I seriously would kill my self if i didnt have it. I don't know how the goyim do it!!!!!!

We need to take a deep breath and realize that Hashem loves us. All we have to do is get up and Hashem will carry us the rest of the way. We just have to be calm and recognize that everything is for the best. The less we fight Hashem's Will, the easier our lives will be.

The past few days have been ok. I haven't really done much school work. Been a lot of procrastination so last night i just said: "Hashem, I ask you to help me, I know everything is going to be fine and i know everything is going to get done. I should sit back, relax enjoy the ride."

SO: deep breath. In and out. Smile!

Well the past couple days have been really hard. Last week i did not much studying at all when i had an exam yesterday and today. Yesterday turned out to be ok i think but today when i saw the questions. I was distraught. I thought: "i guess i need to drop this course, cause i am going to FAIL this midterm!

After a little bit of sobbing, i dismissed the thoughts and said: this is my situation now, i gotta deal with it and i tried to do as much as i can and hopefully i won't fail the exam.

It was a big wake up call and i vowed to change today. Not tomorrow. Or the past. Just today. That's all. I have been thinking about the future so much that i forget about the present! So i have to concentrate on today and ask myself what i can i do today, I don't need to finish any projects but i think i could do something right?

Most importantly, i need to realize that everything is going to be ok. Hashem loves me and He is HERE. He has a plan, a good plan and its all going to turn out fine!

To supplement my last post, this was on a previous shmiras ainayim chizzuk email:

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin