Life can get tough sometimes. I came in to today with maybe 1/4 of an assignment done and its due today (Thank God i had 3.5 hours to work on it)

BUT i didn't stress. I kept my cool. Nor did i fall. I have come to realize that falling/lusting won't help me. i do sometimes bring up the question of going back to my old ways but immediately shake off the idea because its not worth it. I DO remember my past and how it just didn't fulfill me. So i have come to realize that lusting isn't what i need. It will not solve my problems, in fact it perpetuates them.

So now i will hand in my assignment. I am relieved but I am not recovering from the brink of disaster or disaster itself.

I will learn from this assignment but i am happy because I am improving. I did do some of it earlier. I started it.

Thank God. Life is great.

WOW! this is incredible! GYE is on FIRE! From, the people who i have spoken to and from being on the forum, people are doing excellent! They are really improving: step by step! Its not just being sober! I am sooo happy. Good work everyone, you are doing incredible!

Its Adar so lets be happy (thats the theme yea?) Life is tough, i admit and i know. But lets live life one day at a time!!!

Is Mashiach here? Like seriously, this is incredible.

One of my rough spots where i procrastinate a lot has been driving. I don't have my license yet. I have been knocked for it: "Daniel get your license !" "Ask Daniel, HE doesn't his license . He has to take the bus everywhere!"

It is extremely annoying. No I don't have my license. I know it's a little said.

Here's what happened: I didn't get in any car accident when I was a child or rear end anybody (thank God) but i have a baseline fear of driving. Perhaps I am scared to kill someone (chas vshalom)

So i never really had any interest in driving. It took me a while to get the beginners license and I haven't got my actual license. And in May, this beginner license expires so I am
Scared I will have to go through the whole process:

So my 2 options are:
1 grind it out, drive, learn the rules and take the test and pass

2. Slack off and fail, be utterly embarrassed. My parents yell at me. I have to get my beginners license again and I bury in despair to the depths of gehinom...

HOWEVER, why am I worrying? The past is the past. I WAS scared. That doesn't mean I have to be scared NOW. Today is a brand new day. I can only really impact today. Even Tomorrow, I can't really doing anything about. So what can I do today?? What step can I take TODAY that will help me get my license?

I can totally relate, I was petrified of driving. I got my license at 17 and basically didn't drive again until I was 23 and I had to drive to work everyday.

But like most things in life practice makes perfect. After a while all the actions become automatic and it becomes a lot less scary. So yes, it may be difficult in the beginning, but persevere and you will be fine. And if you fail the test the first time, you can take it as many times as you like.

Good Luck

So the past couple days haven't gone so well. Thank God life is excellent but i have this essay due next friday and i wanted to crack down on it. I wanted to do a little bit everyday starting tuesday buti just can't seem to sit down and write. I am 1/25th done haha.

Its so hard. For the past couple hours i have been doing nothing. Just meandering in my house and on the computer: on GYE, torah anytime.

SO this is what I have to do. The NOW is only what is important. Beforehand, I said i would do this paragraph tuesday, the second the wednesday and etc. I made a giant plan. BUT ITS TOO MUCH FOR ME!!!!! One day at a time! what can i do today? Lets just focus on the first paragraph. Tomorrow is a new day, i will worry about it later.

So right now, i will just look at it and maybe add a few lines as i my time on the computer needs to come to a close. Its not over. I am still doing well. I am 1/25th done!! My life is great. God is Good, lets get this essay done!!!!!

How'd that go?

I could use a nice big dose of OFIFOTO right now, more on that in my own thread.

KUTGW!!! KOMT!!!

Last night went well!! I did about a little a bit which is nice. Today is a big day. I have lots of time but i have to remember one thing at a time! I usually look at the whole mountain and get stressed so i have to take it one step at a time. Now is what matters, not even 2 hours from now.

Shabbos was great! Great food, company and relaxing.

Now, Its a brand new week. Whatever happened before doesn't matter. I have the power to choose. I can finish this essay. Do well on this quiz. Learn hard. Daven Well.

This week has so much potential. So, Lets GOOO!!!!!! Its going to be a great week! Gut voch everyone!!

hatzlacha

Isn't life great????? oops sorry one second ISNT LIFE GREAT???? thats better!

Your probably think NO! My life sucks!! I have an addiction, my wife hates me, school sucks, work sucks, I can't learn daven. Fill in whatever is appropriate.

I know. Life is tough. It gets hard. I know. I have a 2500 word essay due tomorrow. It was devastating to write BUT I DID IT. Well kinda. Im almost done but it feels good not to be stressed. To relax.

We have to realize 2 things:
1. Whatever happens in life, Its ok. Chill. You can't do anything about, especially its in the past, except deal with our attitude. We can only choose how we react.
2. Lusting won't help us achieve our goals or make life better. It really won't, It will dig a deeper hole from us.

With that, Life is great! whatever happens with this essay: thank God. I am happy because i am improving and thats what matters. We are growing. We wont be perfect over night. Step by Step. Thats al it takes.

So lets go out there and MAKE TODAY COUNT!!

ESSAY HANDED IN! You know what I would probably say now? Next time I will so better. I will get it done a week early not the same day. But my friends, that is wrong.

We do the same thing for this addiction. After a fall, we say that's it! No more falling! But what happens next time we get an urge? We fall? But I thought we said no more falling? What happened?

The answer is WE CANT GROW OVERNIGHT! It won't happen. Growth only comes gradual. Even if we fall and then say next time I will reach out to a friend and we don't but we think about teaching out: that's an improvement!

My friends, it's all about nice, slow, easy baby steps. We won't change overnight! And that's ok, it's not healthy.

So, I am improving, I did much better for this essay. I was less stressed, I actually looked it over before I handed it in. I am growing. Slowly. But I am still improving, growing and getting better at each turn.

That is what is expected of us Now. And let's only worry about the Now.

There has been a lot of recent talk of Shmiras eiynaim troubles on the forum. I also struggle very much with this. In fact i used to stare at girls, capture the image and wait till the night..... I have that a few things have helped me and over the course of the past little while it has gotten easier to resist the first sip. (easier not easy!)

I recognize that women are people too and they deserve to be respected as people. I also realize that looking at them doesn't really give me pleasure. SO when i encounter an attractive girl i am able to just shrug it off and say whatever and change my thoughts. This worked like a charm on shabbos when i saw a women at shul (of course i was looking over the mechitza lol) I usually start thinking of something else like some guys at GYE or recent successes of guys i have been talking to (another advantage of reaching out)

DISCLAIMER: there are some things we must realize though. We will not change over night. I won't just be able to stop lusting right now! I may still sneak a second peak at a girl. And thats ok because we are growing. The most important thing is to say "ok i took a second look, whatever lets just take my eyes off of her and move on with my life." As soon as we despair we are finished. So its ok we are on a journey, we can't get down on ourselves. Furthermore, don't say "easier said than done." its easier when done! We must learn to celebrate each and every success no matter what it is. If i look at her 5 times but on the 6th time i leave, Baruch Hashem success!

So please chill! its ok, we are improving. Maybe find something you like that it will be easy for you to switch thoughts: sports, politics, Anything!!!!! Look at the bright blue sky and admire how beautiful it is. Anything to get our mind off!

Hi DMS,

I've been reading some of your story. It's inspiring, really. You're on the right path for sure. If you look at the topic that I started, you'll see my issues. You mentioned that being on a college campus, you see a lot of attractive young women and they are probably NOT modest. As a side note, I work out regularly in a gym (not kosher) and I'm always looking at the women who almost exclusively dress extremely immodestly. Yesterday, I just stopped and totally focused on my workout. The workout was better than usually as a result. I had more energy. I get ANGRY thinking about these women and what they are doing - dressing to attract the eyes of men like me. That's what motivates me to not look at them. I think of them as instigators who are against me, so I ignore them as if they are my enemy or adversary, which in a way is true. This works well for me and it might work well for you also.

Thanks startreksuer!

To be honest though, i am not angry at them. Firstly, what they do is out of my control. I can't change them. Secondly, they really don't know any better. Thats not a bad thing because frum girls don't really know either. I heard a Rabbi say that if i girls was to be placed in a mans body for 10 minutes, she would dress head to toe tzniusly. They don't understand us.

But thats ok. There not the reason why were like this. ITS OUR PROBLEM. The onus is on us to control ourselves. So i am not angry at them. I need to respect them as a person. If a girl knew i was staring at her as intently as i do, she would throw the Book () at me.

Workout room is probably not the best idea. I go sometimes but i think its best not to go. It really is a set up for disaster

I'm not truly angry at them, but I use anger as a motivational tool to NOT look at them. I'm angry about the behavior even if they don't know any better.