Thanks e-tek.

Thanks for the chizuk regarding dating process. I agree I was unofficialy/ officially in shiduchim for a year, but guess what as soon as I told that shiksa good bye, 2 days later I was redt a shidduch and went out with her. I couldn't see yad Hashem more clearly,
Ok that prospect wasn't the one, still I felt like Hashem gave me a reward and said ur true zivig is bound to come. So I am trying to clean up, and slim out my baggage as much as I can.
Hashem should bless that your true bashert comes around very soon. And it should be for you what a wife is supposed to be. Not just a mutar s*x machine.

hi newbi
what an amazing share
you are just another proof of hope
please consider 12 steps as they give, by far, the best prognosis
love you
Isaac

Shalom alecha dear newbie. One friend of mine had a goish gf I remember how hard it was for him to leave her. Shkoach.hatzlocho Raba in your battle.

Btw I've read it AFTET it was edited and was triggered...

Issac,
Your not the first to mention regarding the 12 steps, I'm at a loss, bc I don't think it's poss for me right now. Bc at this point I can say anything to my patents. Also I am in yeshiva and cant get the times that they have phone groups. And regular therapy. Is a fortune. For now I think forum/emails.... And work will have to do.

Rt. I'm sorry, also regarding goyish gf Baruch Hashem its not the hardest thing. Yes occasionly il get tempted to try contacting her. But I can usually suppress it I have more of a struggle with myself, know what I mean?

Since I Boruch haShes never got one I can't really relate to THIS problem, but yes takke about problems with yourself I know too well.. drishat shalom
R"T

Rt.
Your in it to win it. Thank Hashem that you didn't get to where I did. Hashem was watching you. He loves you, Baruch Hashem I was able to get out. Keep going strong and praying to him,or Totty and you'll see, he answers.

Newbi wrote on 11 Jul 2012 20:39:


I have had success working the steps to the best of my ability and understanding without a group. I have not reaped all the benefits the collective wisdom of a group can offer, but I have remained sober.

Alexelirzer,
Am I able to down load the12 steps for free? On GYE

www.guardyoureyes.com/the-12-steps />
Hatzlocha!

Wow. I am standing here watching this amazing thunder and lightning storm. Funny I used to think whenever it was thundering and lightning that it was because of me because of my actions but now I feel like we're beating the yetzer hara down. And Hashem is doing it from heaven.

I guess it's time for a little update from the past week. BH I have been doing really well over the last week thank you very much to the GYE forum. I probably had only one slip in not watching my eyes over the last week. Friday I went to the mall I managed to keep my glasses off almost the whole time I wasn't being flirty to the sales representatives although I was being proper and polite. I kept my mind filled with proper thoughts of Hashem and his glory. I must not forget and always be prepared for sudden attacks even though I had a very good week many times it can be the calm before the storm. I must keep praying to God for assistance or without him I have done, and cannot do anything.

Newbi wrote on 16 Jul 2012 02:50:


Check out the following Chazal (Brachos 59a):
אמר ר' אלכסנדרי אמר ר' יהושע בן לוי לא נבראו רעמים אלא לפשוט עקמומית שבלב שנאמר והאלהים עשה שייראו מלפניו

MT

Shalom holy brother,

I haven't posted on my own post for couple days. So let's do it!
Well. Baruch Hashem I can say over all there has been lots of improvement in my life, first and foremost the way I treat myself. In terms of reaming calm with myself, that means not beating myself for a small slip... And also I found its important to have iner peace in order to have peace with others. If I am not at ease, peaceful with myself, then there is trouble, that's also when the yetzer hara turns up the heat. And some times it just gets to hot for me.

Yes I had a couple falls. But I found something interesting... The last 2 times I fell (5days ago and today) it was like when I first stated watching porn, back in the day I was affraid,scared..... My heart was pounding a little harder then normal. I felt like I shouldn't be doing this. I'm not allowed... The whole fall time was much shorter then the old me. Well as much as I know that I can't say I'm cured I do see the progress Hashem has allowed me to make, with his help as well as the GYE family. I have been texting and keeping contact with a couple guys... Wow it helps.

Now that it's Bain hazmanim, summer vacation time it can get more challenging.
I'd like to share a nice dvar Torah,
We know in the parsga that discusses the "Aishes Y'fas Toar" the beautiful women one will come across while at war. The Torah give us a small set of rules to follow and if afterwards u still desire her, you can have her. Rashi explains that the Torah is speaking against that yetzer hara, that of its not done in a permissible way, it will be done in a forbidden way- therefore the Torah was "matir" on certain conditions.
The question screams out, we all know the only the most righteous went to war, those who were completely free of even the smallest sin. They were of the utmost perfection, and to them the Torah is worried that they will desire some goyia, that if the Torah forbids her, he will end up violating the Torah?
The answer is, that no matter how great the person is, when he leaves his comfort zone he is very vulnerable. At that time even the lowest things can be viewed differently. And he is at risk of falling.....
We must take a lesson from here that even though we have grown tremendously, but as long as we are in our comfort zone, we may be ok,(sorta) but when we step out we are very vulnerable. So we must take precautions, extra precautions, to remain strong in the battle(that means leaving it to Hashem, as the was were fought back then)

Thanks for reading, and thanks for constant chizuk!
Chaim

Nice one, and great progress.

BTW you need to change your name, you're not a "newbi" anymore!

Good morning all my dear friends,
At the suggestion of geburashebyesod,
I have decided to change my username from the newbie to getting there. because ultimately after finding GYE, I finally feel that I am starting to get somewhere of course it's always Hashem's help.