Have2changeNOW wrote on 16 Feb 2012 08:44:

You'd better watch out H2CN GNFLSCUCBIN2NOW, 'cuz you're gonna be upgraded soon... 

Again, thanks everyone for reaching out. I have since been in contact with another addict that I was put in touch with by a local organization. I also met with people at the organization and discussed. It felt good to discuss with actual people. Realizing everyday more and more that this is a process and not an overnight solve.

Will be taking these steps of speaking to people and communicating with my 'sponsor' a little further and see what develops. I have gotten filters (with thanks to the filter gabai) on my computer. Things are happening, B"H.

After I am in a routine with these important steps, I will discuss with my father, whom I have decided is probably the best person for me to talk to. He will be visiting me in a couple weeks, i plan to discuss with him then.

kol hakavod and KOP

Sounds like the big truck is startin' to roll...

Hello. me again. I had been clean for another two weeks until a a fall tonight. I think I need to post here and read others posts more often. I am speaking to others off the forum as well. Looking for a sponsor. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the 12-step program... what exactly it is and how exactly it helps.

The 12 steps will help you come to realize that you haven't been surrendering yourself and your troubles to Gcd, rather, you have more likely been trying to manipulate H" to get your fix.

Admitting you're powerless over MZL or whatever your fix happens to be, means accepting a few things about yourself that you might not want to accept.  and that is the first step.  If you can admit you're powerless, it changes the ball game.  That which has been rendered impure by fire must be purified by fire.  All the segulos won't help until you help yourself with the help of Gcd.  and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Attitudes Book found on this site, are the first steps towards awakening to the addiction and the challenge of living 24 hours at a time, and getting Gcd back into your life.

Try getting on your knees now, and actually praying to Gcd that you are surrendering yourself to Him for the next 24 hours, and that you offer your entire being to Him, just for one day, and that you ask for His illumination in every decision you make, for one day.  Try it now, get on on the floor.  I'll wait.

Okay done?  no, didn't think so. Why?  Procrastinating?  can't let go?  Well, then let's try again.

The point is, you must mamash surrender and offer your entire body like a korban to H". 

Chadesh yameinu kekedem, every day requires renewal to 24 hours of not going to shmutz, not doing MZL which puts a coats a barrier between ourselves and the Ayn Sof.


Get on the floor and say:

Hashem, I offer myself to You - to build with me and to do with me as You will. Relieve me of the
bondage of self, that I may better do Your will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them
may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life. May I do
Your will always!

And help me be a Jew with all my bones, for 24 hours!

Foxtrot wrote on 28 Feb 2012 04:15:


I agree.  Do something for your recovery every day.  Not just to stay sober, but to truly grow into the wonderful, giving human being you have the potential to be.

I know I haven't been posting much. Ive been going through a lot in life. I went back and forth inside the head, to tell or not to tell my father. Himself being a recovering addict (alcohol), I felt it would be a good idea. Others i spoke to were split on weather I should or shouldn't. I was told by one person I spoke with on the phone that I should only "admit" to another person within the same addiction. another professional whom I met in person thought I should tell dad.

Well, either way, dad came to visit. After four days, I decided I would tell him. Wow. What relief. Got that off my back. It already feels better. And even more so, don't know why, but dad informed me that he himself also goes to SA meetings! That automatically made me feel better from the get go. I am glad I chose to tell him. His experience and wisdom, as well as the fact that i now know we share this issue, i'm sure will help me through this.

Planning to hit my first SA meeting this week iy'h...

A frelichen Purim to all!

gibbor120 wrote on 15 Feb 2012 15:01:


I'm glad you told him!!! That is BIG!

BH

Shalom everyone. Been a while since my last post. The struggle continues but it's important to know that there is an end in sight. There is a way out.

Tonight I attended, for the first time, an SA meeting. Things i drew comfort from ranged from hearing others talk, meeting other addicts and even seeing people I know there. Also seeing that 90% of the people at the meeting were frume yidden as well gave me an odd sense of peace. They were welcoming beyond belief. This fellowship of people struggling just like me lead me to believe that-together-we can all find our way out.

I look forward to going to another meeting. Then another. I hope to continue my journey, with the assistance of others, here and there.

One day at a time folks! For today, I'm sober. I'm hoping and praying that tomorrow G-d gives me the power and ability to remain sober once again.

Thanks for listening.

Hey Fox,
I was wondering what was going on with you. Great to hear your going foward.
Your fellow begginer,
MB

Hello everyone. Me again. Haven't been on the forum in a while (Frankly, Ive been spending less and less time on the computer... its a good thing!).

I have started to attend SA meetings. This has been the biggest blessing. Getting my problems out there in a group of people that have similar issues has been amazing. It really works!

Today, I was having a lot of downtime. Downtime for me means looking for ways/excuses/rationalizations to act out. I figured, instead of that, let me call someone. Let me see if this really works! IT does!

I wish everyone a kosher Freylichen Pesach!

Good to hear.  Thanks for the update.
You're committed.  You're working a proven program.
I have not doubt you will succeed.
One day at a time.
Have a wonderful Yom Tov!