I know this is an utmost priority, but I still can't find time (except late at night) to fully take hold of what GYE is providing me. I have trouble just keeping on top of the forum, which is actually helping me now by allowing me to feel productive on the computer while helping my fellow brethren in need, as well as helping me on an individual level. And if you knew me, you'd realize that I need to do both to survive! (I can't let 'selfish' and 'me' anywhere near each other- And I'm involved in this addiction- Go figure!)

I haven't been able to read the handbooks, about the 90 days, partnerships, or 12 steps, but I do peruse the chizuk emails and enjoy this forum immensely- 1)Because of the love and support that goes on here- You guys are great! and 2)because there are no women for me to try and impress. Male only forum where I can feel genuine in my drive to bring simcha and support to others without feeling like I'm doing it for ulterior motives.......v'hameivin yavin.

Please let me know how you manage your time on the site, so I can get to work ASAP. The world around us is falling apart and I want to be on the winning (truthful!) side Be"H when all is said and done. Times are scary. Don't be blinded by the uncomfortable reality. I tell you, I'm scared.  :-\ So much anti-semitism and we can't even say let's run to Eretz Yisrael to protect ourselves because l'tza'areinu harav, we're under attack there too. Golus! Ein lanu l'hisha'ein ela Avinu She'bashamayim....

The way I manage my time on this site is I spend way too much time here  ;D

I didn't use the forum at all in my initial recovery, and only posted after I had been sober for 2 years.  I came here to share what worked for me, and ended up staying because there was so much work to be done, and it is just a warm, special, wonderful place.  Guard has given us the gift of being able to, in some small way, be m'saken our chataim in this area by helping others.

Since being on the forum, I have learned so much more about undoing the damage that a lifetime of lusting caused -- attitudes and skills which came in handy during a recent marital crisis.

In terms of how much time to spend on your recovery, I would say that recovery is an ongoing, moment-to-moment process.  It's a new lifestyle.  Reading is important, and participating in groups can be helpful (and critical to some).  But most important is incorporating the new attitudes and skills into your new self, which is all the time.

Wishing you much hatzlocha.    Oh, and Neiro, a belated welcome to the forum.

Alex

A couple of things.  I also spend too much time here.  Better than some other places though.  The only advice I can give you is to get a government job .

I saw a piece recently in aleinu leshabayach saying that in the time of the geulah, the ONLY safe place will be E"Y.  For Hashem's shechina will return there.  It's the chutznikim that need to be afraid. (reading that piece did not give me a warm and fuzzy to say the least )

When the challenges come i find more time to dedicate then i thought i had.
i heard a saying years ago and as i go along it rings truer and truer
"If you need something done, give it to a busy person"
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

I've also gone through tekufos where I spent more time on the forum than I should have.  But, at least in the beginning, it's understandable, because your recovery is more important than earning a living or than anything else.

By
alexeliezer wrote on 04 Jan 2012 14:54:

did you mean G-d?  :D

Great points there, guys. I just wish that instead of everyone just reading the posts and having 4 bazillion views, everyone could comment in their own special, unique ideas to what's being said. I would love for more eitzos to previous posts I've posted. It's not enough to think that on a whole site dedicated to recovery, only like 5 people can help. It's not true.

I know the format as currently constructed may not be so conducive to this 'dream' (Absolutely no offense to the tech guys who put their heart and soul into keeping this alive) because you have to scroll through each response and it takes time and remembering what posts you replied to, but maybe we can all come up with some practical ideas to make it work.

NeiroYair wrote on 05 Jan 2012 05:50:


When you click on a forum heading (e.g. "break free"), there will be a little square yellow face on the left column of any thread you've posted on.  See the legend on the bottom.

But you're right.  Sometimes you'll get some playful support, and other times, more meaningful help.

(And I meant Rabbeinu Guard.)

NeiroYair wrote on 05 Jan 2012 05:50:

I'm not sure what you are trying to say????

I want people to comment more. It will add to the growth process. Either we'll see those who had it worse than us and succeeded or the like. Halomed m'KOL adam. I would just feel more secure in my quest to let go if I heard more people's stories. Everyone has something unique to add, but then again we are all so similar. Does that make sense?

u can read everyone else's threads

I've been falling asleep on my night seder chavrusa this week cause I'm up later than usual reading through the posts. Time is of the essence, my dear friend 

Have a great Shabbos!

NeiroYair wrote on 06 Jan 2012 03:51:

my advice:don't ever be up later than usual on the computer 

Sage advice, but how do you keep it practical and realistic? I don't come home until after 10 PM. What are your personal limits and gedarim? If you don't mind me asking......

If you have K9 you can set a time that it disables the internet every night.

Really? I did NOT know that. Yasher koach! I don't have the full password, so please remind me to do that sometime next week.