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shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 19:37 #126147

  • blure
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Hello everyone,
I am a porn addict.
I am 24 years old and i live in Johannesburg, South Africa.
I would never have expected to find this site. I really need help and finding this forum is a great surprise.
I spend a lot of time, and i am involved with AISH South Africa. I spend a fair of time with the Rabbi's but i have never brought up this specific struggle with them. Finding this forum will encourage me to do so and may lead to me finding a sponsor.

I like to keep myself occupied as much as possible. boredom is a major trigger.

I hope to find much inspiration here.
Thank you!
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 20:58 #126154

  • hubabuba
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welcome blure,

you've come home!

you'll soon get a welcome package with great instructions re. the steps you should take from here. In the meantime, look around, feel free to to post about your struggles and know that we're all glad to have a fellow friend join among us.

BTW, it's refreshing to get a south african here, it's getting boring with all the Americans
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 21:20 #126156

  • blure
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Kidushashem, are you South African? living in SA?
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 21:57 #126160

  • obormottel
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Welcome! Hou hangt dit me neer?
I hope I said it right...
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 22:53 #126163

  • hubabuba
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blure wrote on 20 Nov 2011 21:20:

Kidushashem, are you South African? living in SA?


Nope. when you asked if I live in SA, my first reaction was that SA stands for sexaholics anonymous... you can see what being on GYE too long does to you ;D

I do however aspire to attain some south african middos. I admire south africans very much. Maybe I'll marry a nice SA (it's so weird that stands for something else:-) girl...
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 20 Nov 2011 23:38 #126169

  • gevura shebyesod
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Welcome aboard, Blure!

We are all here to help you. Look around, share and read the handbooks. You will find what works for you.

I'm not from South Africa either, but I know that there are a few other guys here from Johannesburg. I'm sure you'll find each other eventually.

Meanwhile here's something to help you feel at home: http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2657.0  ;D ;D

Gevura!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 21 Nov 2011 16:15 #126216

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME!  You have come to the right place.  Opening up to someone you respect and trust can help tremendously.  I wish you well.  Keep posting.  Here's the official welcome.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…


Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 21 Nov 2011 19:14 #126266

  • AlexEliezer
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Welcome Blure!

Hope you'll stick with us all the way to sobriety.
Posting on this forum is a great start, but I hope you'll also avail yourself of the many tools and reading materials available on this site.  Come up with your individualized plan and go with it!

Feel free to share more of your story if you feel it would be helpful to you or anyone else here.

Much Hatzlocha,
Alex
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 21 Nov 2011 23:01 #126300

  • almar
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Welcome to the club,

I'm your age and in a similar boredom- SA addiction, in a country where we speak the original Afrikaans.

I signed up to the 90 day chart 2 weeks ago and still clean until this day.

So just join us read the different post when you're bored, they're just entertaining and inspiring, sign up to the chart and try to catch up and you'll see for yourself how this site saves lives every day!

Good Luck!
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 21 Nov 2011 23:26 #126302

  • blackbigday
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China-mate plate,
When you get bored, come here!  It is so theraputic and facinating to share in someone else's struggles.
Good Luck
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Re: shalom and TODAH! 21 Nov 2011 23:59 #126303

  • 1daat
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Welcome Blure,

It's a great temptation when first coming to GYE to stop participating if one falls (Chos v'shalom).  Forus here we don't as much emphasis on falling as we do on getting back up.  We say to a fall, "Fell, shmell".  The yetzer horo wants us to feel so awful and ashamed that we couldn't face the guys at GYE again. Don't listen to that nonsense. 

No matter what, keep posting and sharing, it keeps us out of isolation and lets us know that others care about us for real, even in this virtual setting.

I wish you a personal, intimate and palpable relationship with your most holy Hashem.

kol tov

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