I have been in the 12 steps program for 4 yrs and had a relapse.
My marriage is falling apart (because of my moods, I lost my job, I am losing my social life. I am in pain. I am losing my life)
I need to get sober now. I go to meetings almost everyday.
I am not sober today.
Need support and Siyata Dishmaya.

A Crying Soul :...(

WELCOME!

We all feel your pain.  :'( :'( :'( :'(.

We are all in this together.  We all have different versions of the same problem.

Here is the official welcome package.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
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I'd offer you the welcome package but there are people herre who live just for that privilage so i'll leave it to them.

You had one relapse in 4 years and you're depressed? I would be dancing for joy! And then moving on, dwelling on falls doesn't accomplish any purpose.

You do sound a little depressed, perhaps you should seek treatment about that first and maybe your battle will get a little easier.  If you feel that you scum you really don't have much reason to help yourself. But if you feel that you are special (And you are, at least in G-d's eyes, and I'm sure in others as well) then it's worth the effort of saving yourself.

Welcome. We are all here to help you, many of us have been where you are or worse...

Are you acting out at this moment? No? Then you are sober RIGHT NOW! Be happy!

Start Trucking^TM, one day, one hour, even one minute at a time!

Gevura!

Soulinpain,

nice to meet you

I came to the site in a state of despair as well, I think most of us here feel that way when we find it. You seem like you are afew steps ahead of me in recovery because you see it is ruining your life, your job, socially etc. I needed to work on realizing that. When we are in a rock bottom state is a perfect time to admit powerlessness and start working the program in a true and honest way.

Now join us my brother there is help on this site and there is real hope if you stay around.

Post away, share some more of your story and struggles.

we are all in this together.

there are 3 words that I need to introduce you to - Keep on trucking. (KOT)

we dont look back we drive forward- Now make the rest on today a clean day.

--hm

HM,
Thanks for your kind word.
KOT? sounds great, never heard of it yet. (and its not TM?)

Thanks guys,

SIP

k-o-t= keep on trucking. like gematria you know.

SoulinPain wrote on 13 Sep 2011 17:11:

If you stick around, you will hear it quite a bit.  It should be the GYE motto.

KOT!

It IS the GYE motto!

Welcome brother!
It's a tough battle, to be sure. We are here to help.
How did you stay sober for FOUR YEARS?!
I can't wait to find out more...

Welcome SIP!

Don't have much info to go on here.  You have a mood disorder that caused you to lose your job.  Job loss is stressful all around, so now your marriage is strained.  This produces even more stress, emptiness, moods and WHAM! the need to crawl back into the old self-soothing gets the upper hand.

It seems to me that the two keys to your climb out of this rut are
1. meetings
2. your wife

Do something new and good for your marriage.  Make a date night and go out.  Even if just for a walk if you can't afford a beer      Try to get your hands on a book called Garden of Peace, a Marital Guide for Men,  by R' Sholom Arush.

Take steps to grow personally, to improve your relationship with your wife.  Out of work?  Then you have plenty of time to exercise!  Take advantage.  It's great for a great variety of ailments.

Welcome Chaver!  Stay here with us and help us grow together.

Alex

Here's some vintage art for you.

Hello Soul-in-pain,
You are not alone. Aren't all the souls in this world in pain, too?  Some of us are just feeling it a little more.  NEVER GIVE UP.

Have you ever seen anyone about bipolar?  It could be your dealing with something chemical and you could have that treated.  My wife has Bipolar II, and Baruch Hashem she has gotten wonderful treatment for it.  It can wreck a lot of lives.

Hashem Imachem,
Black Bigday

soulinpain

listen up

there is a place deep in the soul that feels no pain

that kosher spot

is a secret

only Hashem and You know about it

the Y"H can never ever ever get there

its called the nekudah the pintelleh yeed

that is the spot thae ramba'm refers to as af al pi shechata yisroel hu

thats why no matter how much mud you heaped on yourself

you can still say alokai neshsam shenesatte be tehorah hee

you are not in pain

oyu are on the path to eternal bliss

We need a like button. Why do I feel compelled to write a long-winded post every time I read something from ALexeliezer, or another pearl from Bardichev?
LIKE, LIKE, LIKE.

welcome to gye. wow you had 4 years thats great., dont look back only forward and make today a new day with new and improved plans