mottel what happened from yesterday to today?
why divorce? why suicide?
is she the problem? is your life the problem?
she is good, your life is good and precious
we all make mistakes, we are human not angles
if you have any suicide thought seek a doctor or sycho therapist immidietly before you reply to me

@gibbor: your joke's well taken, my joke's half-hearted.
shmeichel: thanks, brother, I don't want a doctor, what if they tell me I really AM sick?
There was this one guy who had a sore in his foot. So he wouldn't go to a doctor for fear it was something serious that he would have to deal with. Finally, someone convinced him to go. After the visit, the guy was very cheerful, so they asked him what happened? He said: the doctor said there is nothing wrong with me. So they said: but what about the sore, it's still there?
O, the guy says, I didn't show it to him. I showed him the healthy foot.

Now that is a great line!!

If you divorce your wife who will reset the filter for you.  With suicide you don't have that problem.  Keep smiling. Life is good and so are you.

I don't know about you, but we are getting along so well right now that if I divorce her, she would kill me.

ur-a-jew wrote on 27 Oct 2011 01:48:

congrats on the new and important title! thanks for all the chizzuk! I saw on your thread that jumping off high buildings isn't totally off charts for you. So you keep smiling too there, buddy!

ur-a-jew,

don't talk about suicide in this forum.

Thank you

There's two problems with suicide.
1) It's the only aveirah in the Torah that Teshuvah can't fix.
2) It doesn't solve all your problems, because the REAL problems only begin afterwards.

Two surprises this morning:
1. According to Tech Support there are some topics here that are off limits. So what's a guy to do, just stifle his thoughts till he blows up? It worked for me for a couple dozen years, now I'm trying something new. I would argue that verbalizing a suicidal urge is healthier than keeping it in, but what do I know?
2. A visit by Rabbeinu Guard! Truly humbled, thank you, sir, for weighing in.
Coincidentally (or as we chassidim like to say, by Hashgocho Protis) I am 90 days clean today (on and off the chart this is the longest clean streak since I was 12). So I was planning to send a PM to Guard thanking him for providing this opportunity.
I guess I may as well post it here:
Thank you for returning a father to my children, a husband to my wife, and a Jew to Am Yisroel. As far as restoring me to sanity, that remains to be seen, but then it's not in your holy hands anyways. Your work is holy, and your reward is eternal.
G-d Bless!

as we like to say here, gevaldigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.  I feel like I'm watching a plant grow before my very eyes.  AMAZING!!!

(Just one correction.  Chassidim don't have the market cornered on hashgacha pratis.  Some other taira yidden still beleive in it who are not chassidim.)

Mazel Tov Mottel!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUTGW!!!!!!

And thanks for all the Chizuk. You are one of the guys who I can always count on for a good word when I need it.

Gevura!

Mazel Tov!!!!!  And may you be sober tomorrow as well too.
Should we change your name to UberMottel, as in if the YH would turn to the RBSO and say look RBSO at the Yidden, look at the shmutz they are involved in.  But wait a heavenly voice calls out Uber Mottel, what about Mottel, look at this sweet Yid, who is working on himself, and it's hard, but he didn't give up.  This represents the UberMottel, he is trully an UberYid.  He represents the true nature of Klal Yisroel.  Continued hatzlacha.
Now one piece of advice.  Don't make the mistake that some others have made.  The journey is just beginning.  Don't be complacent with 90 days.  Go start your own thread in the Wall of Honor inspire others and get chizzuk when the inevitable bumps come.  See you around. 

ur-a-jew wrote on 01 Nov 2011 16:45:

I guess that's why so many here ride in a monster truck.  It handles those bumps really well!

Thanks guys! :D
UAJ, your advice, as always, is right on the money. You were one of the first to welcome me here and instrumental in my opening this particular thread (my very first post here says: "someone pressed me to share my recovery plan" - and that was you )
So I was going to do just what you said: close this thread and move to the Wall of Honor. Now the credit goes to you, but my new self is fine with it. As far as this being just the beggining and not to get complacent....oh, boy, do I realize it! Anyways, thanks for the affirmation.
Dear Gibbor120! Just because I'm 90 days clean doesn't mean I'm soft and cuddly alovasudden! What do you mean chassidim don't have monopoly on beleiving in Hashgocho Protis?  This is a major strife between talmidei Baal Shem Tov and Vilno Gaon.
The Besht taught that no leaf falls off a tree without Hashgocho Elyoino orchestrating it, and the other camp found it preposterous and heretical, because the King doesn't lower himself to dig in a garbage pile, and that His Hashgocho is over the human kind only.
Anyways, that stance has been softened somewhat since those times, and this discussion is for Beth Medrash, and you certainly are a taira Yid, and so is everyone who is b'shem Yisroel yechune.
I was just being sholel the notion of coincedence as described in chassidus. Glad you're on board with that, and really glad you're my friend!

You have come a long way in a short time.  You should continue your upward trend (we never go up in a straight line, but hopefully continue in that general direction)! And don't forget to shlepp the rest of us up with you!