The herring, but not the (Hungarian) name.

(Matyash)

but it also spells Ishah, which means “a woman.” The biggest sacrifice that a man needs to make in his life for Hashem is zeh Ha’isheh – this desire for women and the fire of lust.

זֶה הָאִשֶּׁה אֲשֶׁר תַּקְרִיבוּ לַה'




I cannot sacrifice my desire for women. That is asking too much of me. Thank G-d it says הָאִשֶּׁה. I only have to sacrifice A woman--the woman in front of me in the supermarket, the woman in my fantasy, the woman getting out of a car. Just that one woman. This, with His help, I think is manageable. Maybe. On a good day.

Thanks for checking in, Gevurah, and thank you for the brochos.

i see people have offered some nice ideas.
another idea from the rosy fields of CBT in addiction counseling is to do as follows:

ask yourself: how much of my looking is due to my stress of obsessing about not looking?

next, ask yourself: why do i look? is it because i am attracted to women?

if you answered yes to the above question, then ask yourself: isn't it normal to have such a drive? don't other men also do this, or:aren't other men at least tempted to do this? or:isn't this exactly why God commanded the Jewish people not to look after their eyes....because he designed them to have such desires?

now, you may say: it is true, men want to look, and i want to look, but my looking is compulsive, and their's is just out of "tayva", or you may say "they look here and there, but i myself cannot stop!"

these things may be true. but you no longer need to obsess so much about how you are looking. meaning, wanting to look is quite normal. the problem in your case is that you obsess about it, or act on it.

so the punchline is: ACCEPT the desire to look as normal. Next, accept your compulsitivity as God's plan for you to work on it and grow. finally, make sure never to act upon a look, or to elongate a look as much as possible.
ACCEPTANCE of our defect or struggle is a huge key here to lowering our stress about looking, and it only drives us to look more and more. loweringthat stress through acceptance makes it alot easier to deal with.

so the next time a desire to look comes, accept it. and decide also not to act on it. by doing so, it helps us to escape 12 hours a day of preoccupation about our problem, and helps us deal better with the problem and the here and now.

i know people who have tried this acceptance and reduced their stress about looking signifacantly.
AC9

May we and all the chevra have continued siyata dishmaya