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TOPIC: hello my friends.... 101481 Views

Re: hello my friends.... 30 Apr 2012 16:30 #136495

gevura shebyesod
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Mikva is a tough one for me too. I always only went on Erev Yom Tov anyway. And I looked forward to it for all the wrong reasons, and probably did more damage to myself by going than if I had stayed home. I still go, but I have set strict rules for myself (basically the opposite of my old behaviors).

Glasses first off and last on.

Face the wall as much as possible.

Remember why you are here.

Make it quick!

Eish, hang in there. It's really tough to give up what the world has been convincing you your whole life that it is your "real self". And it feels like death itself to think that you will never have any pleasure in life anymore. I know, I went through the same thing, and I am still struggling with it. But it does get easier with time.
And know that your true self is your holy Neshama that Hashem has given you, and that He has given you (and me) this awesomely difficult task, because He knows that we CAN do it!
Gevura!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: hello my friends.... 30 Apr 2012 17:01 #136500

Machshovo Tova OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1230 Karma: 26	How interesting that I have the same Mikva issues, and I go couple of times a week, and I also made somewhat similar gedarim: - Remove eyeglasses - Face the wall - Guard your myopic eyes anyhow! Hatzlacha to all of us, MT

Re: hello my friends.... 01 May 2012 05:50 #136530

1daat Current streak: 126 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 713 Karma: 4	Gevurah, kol hakovod. I am moved by your honesty and openness. You so teach me what it means to be dead serious about this monstah

Re: hello my friends.... 01 May 2012 13:40 #136539

Eishhatorah OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 13 Karma: 0	My parents are divorced so I dont know if that's why but I also have ssa could be I havnt seen my father in 13 years p.s. I'm only 19

Re: hello my friends.... 03 May 2012 11:22 #136687

TehillimZugger OFFLINE Platinum Boarder לבד הנשמה הטהורה Posts: 2446 Karma: 34	eishhatorah wrote on 01 May 2012 13:40: My parents are divorced so I dont know if that's why but I also have ssa could be I havnt seen my father in 13 years p.s. I'm only 19 careful about how much identifying information you put up there aish.
	?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: hello my friends.... 03 May 2012 19:22 #136716

gevura shebyesod
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Today's Chizuk email featured a translation of the crucial Ohr Hachaim in this week's parsha that discusses the extreme importance of guarding our eyes and our thoughts. I am quoting what I think is a very relevant section:

And if one should ask, "How can a natural person be in control of his desires which "force" him to act? After all, it does not make sense that Hashem would obligate all men equally to guard themselves in this area, only people who can stand up and have the will power to deny this desire! And these are people who never came into the tests of seeing improper sights and thinking lustful thoughts. Only for such people did the Torah command these Mitzvos. But for people who already fell into these things, it is naturally impossible for a man to control himself and hold back from this craving that forces him to act!"
To counter this claim, Hashem wrote in the Torah with pleasant words of life, and the Parsha of Arayos starts out with the words "Speak to the Children of Israel and say to them, I am Hashem your G-d". For it is true that in the human race, besides for the Jewish people, they can claim this complaint and say that they did not find it in their strength to deny the power of this intense desire from themselves. However, with you, the Children of Israel, because I am Hashem your G-d - that is, you can achieve understanding and awareness of G-d - and through this G-dly strength, you will win over the natural physical drives.

The mind can control the matter. So when a Jewish person accepts upon himself to be "one" with Hashem his G-d (di'veikus), he will be in control of his nature. As Chaza"l say, "The hearts of the Tzadikim are given over in their hands, but the hearts of Resha'im control them". The meaning of this is, that desire and lust are in the heart of a man, yet his "will power" is in his mind. And these are the two levels that the Master of the World has given man (to work with). And when a person sees something of a sexual nature, his heart will crave it, but this is not the end. The "will power" in his mind can deny himself the desire and he will not act upon it, even though he covets it... And that is the meaning of the words "For I am Hashem your G-d" (in the Parsha of Arayos). This means to say, that since Hashem shines the light of his Shechinah into the soul of a man, through this, one has the strength to win over his desires with his 'will power'...

I believe that this thought, especially the part I highlighted, is particularly crucial for those of us with SSA. The world out there is bent on convincing us that it is our identity, our essence, we are "born this way" and cannot change. They claim that it is genetic and any attempt to change our "orientation" will only cause us harm, and insist that our only hope is to give in and embrace the "lifestyle".

They may be correct, for them, who only believe in the physical. But we are different. We have the power of "Ani Hashem Elokeichem", and we can overcome the Teva as it was created in us and rise above our desires, as strong as they are. That is the mission we have been given.

Gevura!

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 03:43 #137224

gevura shebyesod
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"Hayom Shiv'a uShloshim Yom..."

The Sefira of Gevura Shebyesod.

The day that I have chosen to represent my identity, and what it is that i am striving for.

One year ago was the day that i finally committed to giving up the last of the shmutz that I was still clinging to, and to really try to live a clean and sober life free of lust. And what a year it has been. "Ki Chasdecha Godol Oloy". With the help of my friends here, Hashem has enabled me to do what i never thought possible.

I cannot express in words how much I owe to you all. Each of you in your own way have helped me along. Whether with a listening ear, a (virtual) shoulder to lean on, a smile, an opportunity to share, whether in public or privately, my deepest feelings, pain and hopes. You have provided me with chizuk, encouragment, love, mussar, culinary advice, jokes, Lechaim (and even a bus). And the ability for me to participate by giving the same to those who need it. And above all for giving me a place where i can finally feel like I truly belong. Where for the first time in my life I do not secretly feel like an outcast.

May we all be zoche to go out together in a big convoy of Monstuh Trucks to greet Moshiach Bimheiro!!!

Gevura!

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 03:57 #137227

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	Gotta finish the pasuk you started, man: "vehitzalto nafshi mishe'ol tachtiyoh" LOve you, GS, really. Continued hatzlocha b'kamus ub'eychus.
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 04:52 #137230

obormottel OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1440 Karma: 6	You're my Hero in more ways than you know. I was thinking about you during sfiras ho'oimer tonight. What you're doing is incredible. Wishing you true happiness, Mottel.
	Baby steps. If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas! Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 05:52 #137232

Evedofhashem25 OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 31 Karma: 0	Gevruah, You gave me so much chizuk tonight. You don't even know how much power you just gave the people who are just starting this journey. As you always say just keep trucking!!! Keep posting for those who are just in the beginnings stages of this life long journey!

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 06:50 #137236

Blind Beggar OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Not a sexaholic, just trying to be good. Posts: 780 Karma: 12	Keep on shteiging, Gevura. I was also thing about you last night in sefira.
	The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars. If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look. I can guard my eyes. I want to guard my eyes. I do guard my eyes. Why do I say these four lines?

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 09:51 #137237

geshertzarmeod Current streak: 2245 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Like a bridge over troubled water. Posts: 595 Karma: 3	Happy Gevura sheBeYesod Day! the first thing that went thru my mind when counting last night was I gotta post on gevura's thread. Mazal Tov on the year and many more!
	ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo ולבי חלל בקרבי לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 13:43 #137241

Machshovo Tova OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1230 Karma: 26	Believe it or not, even I was thinking about you last night at Sfiras HaOmer. Congratulations on your anniversary (or birthday?), and may this day forever be marked as the beginning of the rest of your life. MT

Re: hello my friends.... 14 May 2012 14:25 #137248

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Gevura, You're a shining example that anything is possible if we keep at. And keep at it we must! Love you! Alex

Re: hello my friends.... 17 May 2012 15:34 #137660

the.guard
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I don't post very often on the forum these days, but I think this is a special occasion... I'd like to wish our dear friend Gevurah shebiYesod a Big Mazel Tov! We're still in the week of Yesod, and we should all take chizuk from his inspiring story and journey!

I had an SSA expert today in my office, he wants to help GYE and maybe start a phone conference for guys with SSA issues. I showed him our SSA resources page (www.guardyoureyes.com/resources/ssa) and I went to your first post where you tell your story, and we read the whole post together. He was very impressed with your story, and was telling me how he has an approach to help guys with SSA issues that they shouldn't need to white-knuckle it, but that they can actually change the way they think and feel, and diminish the SSA cravings significantly.

When he starts his SSA phone conference (probably once a week) I will announce it for everyone.

Thank you for inspiring us all!

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.