From the reaching out I have been doing and from reading some forum updates, it seems to me that a lot of the oilam are going through a difficult stage these days. I don't know if it is unusual but it seems to me that it is more than usual. Although it might be that since I am going through a rough period I am more sensitive to other's predicaments.
Either way I just wanted to be mechazek everyone out there. Hang in there. Life is full of ups and downs. When we are up we feel like we will never fall down again, and when we are down we feel like we will never get up again to where we were.
The truth is, that we will have ups and downs forever. Hopefully with time, we will grow enough that the down times will be on a higher level than the highs of previous days. But they will still be down times. That is the game of life.
So everybody, stay connected and KOT!!!!!

!!!! חזק חזק ונתחזק

Thanks Unan

Jewish Jew had the followin' signature:

Life is like a bike:
When it's hard you know you're goin[g] up.
When it's easy - you're goin[g] down.
And when you stop - you fall

unanumun wrote:


Thanks, Oownanoowmin.
Just what I needed to hear.

unanumun wrote:


thanks we all need to hear that from time to time,

or more like it all the time,

And as I slowly pull myself out of the hole, I had an inspiration during Baruch Sheamar this morning. I thought I would share it because it gave me alot of chizzuk.(the purpose of this thread)
we say:
בָּרוּךְ אוֹמֵר וְעשֶׂה. בָּרוּךְ גּוֹזֵר וּמְקַיֵּם
Hashem sometimes is gozer on us to go through different trials. All of a sudden our lives spiral out of control or change course. Just like that. Right away - אומר ועושה

בָּרוּךְ מְרַחֵם עַל הָאָרֶץ. בָּרוּךְ מְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת.
We have to remember (and internalize) that Hashem is the ultimate merachem. All He does is out of rachmanus. Hashem puts us in these situation because He knows what is ultimately the best for us and our mission in this world.

בָּרוּךְ מְשַׁלֵּם שָׂכָר טוֹב לִירֵאָיו
And when we overcome the trials and stay true to His word, and when we pick ourselves up and rise to the challenge, Hashem will reward us with good reward. משלם -He will pay us but not just שכר, rather שכר טוב - He pays well.

בָּרוּךְ חַי לָעַד וְקַיָּם לָנֶצַח
Either we can explain that although we may not see the rewards immediately, Hashem is eternal. We may be rewarded some point in the future, or one of our descendants somewhere down the line will reap the rewards of our pulling through nisyonos.
Alternatively, we can explain, that Hashem is not going anywhere. He is patient. He awaits our positive actions. It is never too late too put ourselves together and rise above our nisyonos.

בָּרוּךְ פּוֹדֶה וּמַצִּיל
And ultimately, once we do ours and stay strong through our nisyonos, Hashem will send us the yeshua and take us out of the tzoro we are going through.

So once again:

!!!!!חזק חזק ונתחזק

Out site is finally mobile friendly, this is my first mobile post!

man wrote:


yasherkoach for all the great work; the continued upgradin'.

man



Wait......

I saw something this morning that made me reevaluate my entire look at the concept of Teshuva. thought I would share it. There may be some chizzuk to be found in it. There definitely is something to think about that has to do with some discussion about teshuva that was had in one of the forums recently.
Reb Itzele Blazer points out that of the four parts of teshuva (azivas hachet, charata, kabala lehaba, and viduy) really only kabala lehaba and viduy are part of the chiddush of teshuva. Meaning the present that Hashem gave us to erase previous sins.
Azivas Hachet and Charata, would be applicable even if Hashem wouldn't have given us the ability to erase our sins. This is because in order to prevent ourselves from repeating the sin, we have to have charata and azivas hachet. Even if we couldn't erase our precious sins, we would still be held accountable for every new sin that is done. So the concept of sechar and onesh (or whatever else works) should lead us to azivas hachet and charata regardless of teshuva.
I think that for me it settles an issue that I have been having. I don't feel that I can really do kabala lehaba on aveiros pertaining to lust. SO I didn't really know how it all came together.
But now I understand that here on GYE I am learning how to do azivas hachet and charata (by realizing how much lusting was taking away from my life.) I will keep on focusing on the idea of stopping acting out and watching porn. not necessarily because i am ready to do teshuva, but because it is time to stop the lust and the acting out because every time makes a difference.

unanumun wrote:


It is probably me that is slow. Once you brought up the topic, I would have said precisely the opposite. The chiddush of teshuvah is that we have the ability to wipe away the past; that only comes about thru azivas hacheit and charatah (perhaps viduy as well). kabbalah al ha-asid is really needed anyways! we must accept the torah whether we sinned before or not; what would that have to do with teshuvah? the chiddush is that a serious kabbalah of sorts must be accepted in order to fully reach the ultimate teshuvah.

unanumun wrote:


Now, here, at least partly is what many of us have been sayin', but slightly different. regardin' the past...why worry? regardin' the future, why be concerned? but an important thing you got spot on! we are stoppin' right now, cuz' it is unbearable (is it part of teshuvah? who cares?).

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


He says that the chiddush of teshuva is that Hashem gives us a matana that we can wipe away the past. The chiddush therefore is in the aspects that if not for changing the past, wouldn't be necessary.
He says that kabala lehaba is not necessary to stop sinning. just stop. without a kabala (I guess one day at a time) Also viduy is not necessary because what do you gain by saying that you sinned?
However in order to stop you need to stop (azivas hachet) and to have charata - because otherwise why would you stop, like is repeated so often here on the forums.
He is coming to explain why it says כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאד which is interpreted as referring to teshuva, and seems to say that it is a simple thing. (קרוב) The answer is that once you stop the aveiras, the teshuva parts are the easy. the difficult part you would have to do regardless of teshuva.
It is a simple act , to make a hachlata and say viduy. (After you got to azivas hachet and charata) Once you do them Hashem wipes away the sins.

And that was the point i was making. That we are all working here in azivas hachet and charata. Those are the hard parts. If we ever make it, then the teshuva parts will be easy. I guess it is the same for all aveiros but here we see so much talk of one day at a time, realizing that life is not manageable etc. so the difference stands out so well.

Where is it brought down please?

thanks

Cochvey ohr. It comes with the old Ohr Yisroel's.
I don't remember which siman, but it starts off with the pasuk of ki karov ailecha.

(סימן ו)

Reb Itzeleh brings from mekoros that there are three levels of being able to do Teshuva.
1. A level in which Hashem helps us to do teshuva.
2. Hashem doesn't help but doesn't prevent us from doing teshuva.
3. Hashem prevents us from doing Teshuva, as a punishment for our sins, so that we can receive the ultimate punishment which wouldn't be possible if teshuva was done.

(Obviously there are different levels of sins. Level 2 is listed as referring to 4 sins. and level 3 is for huge sins either in quantity or in quality. For the average lust addiciton that is dealt with it in the forums, my understanding is that it fits into level 1.)

He then says a powerful lesson. If someone is on a level 1 where Hashem will help him to do teshuva, it is still dependent on his actually deciding to do teshuva. SO therefore...if one does not decide to do teshuva, he is in essence determining his own fate to receive the ultimate punishments for his sins. So then he is giving himself a gzar din exactly like the one that Hashem gives to a level 3.
There is no difference between whether Hashem punishes someone by preventing him from doing teshuva, or whether he punishes himself by preventing himself from doing teshuva.
(WOW!!!!)

So Rabbosai let us stand up and decide that we will take action and apply the steps necessary to move forward in out battles. To give up is to decree on ourselves the punishment that Hashem saves for the worst of the sinners.

On a happier note, Chazal say that the world was created with the letter ה so that when we fall through the bottom, there is a side door to return through.
The world was created in such a way as to assist those that want to do teshuva.
Hashem wants to help us come closer to him. No questions asked. That is how it is.
So why does it sometimes not seem that way? Because HE knows what we really need to be able to do teshuva. Sometimes we need to fall again, sometimes we need to up the challenge, and sometimes we need a break. HE knows. Hashme is giving us what we need, when we need it in order to help us get there.

(As I type this, I wonder, once he gets back into the ה, how can he not fall out again? there is no bottom to catch him???
Maybe the answer is that אין הכי נמי you can't. You just gotta keep going back in the side door. again and again. because that is what we are in life for.
Also maybe you can answer that you can only stay in the ה by a miracle. Hashem's suspending us in mid air. (ואלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו, לא יוכל לו))