the mishna in avos says כל שיראת חטאו קודמת לחכמתו, חכמתו מתקיימת"
The Maharal asks why does the mishna say that one whose fear of His sin is greater than his chochmo? It should say one whose fear of sin (שיראתו מן החטא).
He answers that everyone, as a result of his inherent nature has a tendency towards specific sins. It is not enough for him to have a general fear of sin. He has to have a fear of his specific sin that he is more inclined to transgress.
Thereby the mishna is saying that only when one's fear of HIS sin precedes his chochmo, will his chochmo last.
(As explained by Rav Wolbe in aley shur vol. 1 pg. 133)

I think that just being aware of the fact that it is normal for different people to lean towards different sins should be encouraging. Also we see that there is a concept of working on the fear of a specific sin and not only a general Yiras Shamayim.
I know that some people will say that Yiras Shamayim doesn't do the job, but I think that there is something here that can help. Not the fear of heaven but the fear of sin. Being afraid of the sin and all the side effects, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Contemplating the fear of the specific sin, while we are not in the trenches nor in the middle of battle, perhaps can have a positive effect and change the results once the games begin.

i found this in a sefer:
בזוהר פרשת קדושים
אסור ליה לבר נש לאסתכלא בשפירו דאתתא בגין דלא ייתי בהרהורא בישא ויתעקר למלה אחרא, וכו'.. וכל מאן דיסתכל בשפירו דאנתתא ביממא אתי להרהורא בליליא, ואי סלקא ההוא הרהורא בישא עילויה אעבור משום ואלהי מסכה לא תעשו לכם.
It means that it is asur for a person to look at the beauty of a woman so that he shouldn't come to bad thoughts.
If he does so and those thoughts come upon him he transgressed the issur of making idols.

The fact that the zohar refers to making avoda zara I think can be explained in the following way:
An Physical thing that is an avoda zarah, is really nothing in its essence. Only by man believing in it does it have significance.
The same is true of the women that we look at. really there is nothing special about them . they may be pretty but really the connection to them and the unclean thoughts has nothing to do with them , it is all in our minds. we are the ones that turn them into sex items. this might even be true of porn as even there most times it is just actresses and nothing real to it. and even the pleasure we trick ourselves into having, is also emptiness.

unanumun wrote:


The Bais Halevi explains the gemoro which says
כל המתגאה כאילו עובד עבודה זרה
Crediting YOUSELF for what really is Hashem's credit, this is a form of Avoda Zara-
The same is with -
כל הכועס כאילו עובד עבודה זרה
Anger is the feeling that I should have been the one in control here and not something / someone else.
Giving yourself this power of control instead of leaving the control to Hashem is Avoda Zara -
Your explanation brings up the same idea - Giving POWER to these items is Avoda Zara!
ברוך שכיוונת

we say in shemone esray of mincha on shabbos, יום מנוחה וקדושה. a day of rest and holiness.
In sifsay chaim, (מידות ועבודת ה' חלק ב') he discusses the concept of menucha referring to menuchas hanefesh.
He explains the connection of menucha and kedusha in the following way: The more a person brings kedusha into his life, the more he attains menuchas hanefesh.
The way to bring kedusha in his mehalech is speration from tayvos and gashmiyusdikke things. by separating one's self from all the tayvos of money, kavod, and nashim, etc. he becomes more connected to spirituality, thus more connected to menuchas hanefesh.
I think that we can continue this theme in the opposite direction as well. The more a person attains menuchas hanefesh, the easier it will be for him to grow in kedusha.
As is evident in many posts and threads here, once a person falls into a spiral of bilbul hadaas, he starts to feel like he is losing control of his life and many times the feelings of frustration, depression, and general lack of focus, leads to acting out.

Of course there are two issues that may be brought up in regards to my last post:
1. addiction may not necessarily be cured by menuchas hanefesh
2. many people discuss the importance of giving up on control and letting Hashem control our lives. this may seem like the opposite of trying to get control of his life.

My answer to that is as follows:
in regards to the first issue, while addiction may not be cured, most certainly in the process of recovery, the more a person is at peace with himself and stays focused while limiting the periods of bilbul hadaas, the easier it will be to deal with recovery, like finding time to go to meetings, being able to focus on the 12 steps, and more.
In addition there are many people here that are not necessarily addicted and therefore many times their problem manifests itself during periods of bilbul hadaas.
In regards to the second issue, getting control of one's life in this context means being able to focus on the issue at hand. it means not being overwhelmed with all that life sends us. However even once that is attained, the yetzer hara doesn't give up and will find ways to attack us. Giving up ourselves to HAshem's will is to acknowledge that without His help we can't possibly overcome our nisyonos.
In addition, by realizing that Hashem runs the world and not us, that itself will help attain menuchas hanefesh, because once we realize we don't run the world we will realize that we don't have to. Then we can focus clearly on the real tasks at hand that Hashem decided that we have to do.
כך נראה לעניות דעתי

Saw a beautiful sifsay chachamim today.

באשר הוא שם
firts of all the concept itself fits in very well with the idea of one day at a time. Today is what counts. Not what you did and not what you will do. Baasher hu sham.

Rashi explains that the malachim were saying that the dying Yishmael shouldn't be saved because his descendants will one day hurt the Jews. To that Hashem's answer was baasher hu sham. Right now he didn't do it.
But the obvious question is that Rashi said a few pesukim earlier that Yishmael was oived avoda zara or giluy arayos or shefichas damim. and that Avraham Avinu was saddened that Yishmael went off the derech. So why did the malachim bring up the future sins of his children? why not bring up the present sins of Yishmael himself?
The sifsey chachamim answers that yishmael was destined to do teshuva for his current sins (as rashi brings down in parshas chayey sara) and that is why the malachim couldn't hurt him for them.

Wow!! according to this, not only does baasher hu sham not take into account his future sins, but if someone is destined to do teshuva for the current sins, they are also not taken into account.
What a chizzuk!! So many times I have thought that yes recovery is a process but in the meantime.... how can I stand in front of Hashem. But according to this sifsey chachamim, if I am destined to do teshuva, when I am further along the road to recovery, then I can proudly stand in front of Hashem already today.

unanumun wrote:


this is what we daven for on HR הושענא נפש מבהלה

thanks for your DT

So I found a place to add some of the stuff I learn or come up with. (If you don't mind)

(the following is from Baer haparsha From R' Elimelech Biderman, in English called Torah Wellsprings. could be downloaded @ www.ladaat.info/gilyonot.aspx)

1) The Maharal writes that Nisayon [test] comes from the word Nes [miracle]
because just as miracles are above the rules of nature, one must serve
Hashem beyond the rules of nature to pass a nisayon.

2),
The Shelah HaKadosh taught that when one knows that he is being tested,
it is easier for him to pass the test. He writes that this is the reason the Torah
tells us about Avraham Avinu’s tests, so people will be aware that there are times
when their faith is also under scrutiny. When they know that they are being tested,
it is easier for them to remain strong.

The following story demonstrates this point:
Arabs kidnapped a high ranking official of the Israeli intelligence (the Shabak).
They tortured him, hardly gave him food and drink, and tried to force him to reveal
the secrets that he knew. But he was loyal to his country and he didn’t speak. One
day his captors opened his cell door slightly and they stood outside his room
conversing with each other. Peeking through the doorway, he saw that they were
holding screw drivers and hammers. He understood that they were about to break
his head open. He realized that he didn’t have a choice; he would tell them
everything that he knows. What choice did he have?
He tried to hear what they were saying. He listened carefully, and heard them
speaking in Hebrew! He then understood that these people weren’t Arabs. They
were members of the Israeli intelligence; they were testing his loyalty. They entered
his cell and warned him that if he doesn’t speak they would pry open his skull, but
he didn’t budge. He wasn’t afraid. He knew that it was only a test.
When one knows that he is being tested, he feels empowered. He has the
strength to stand up to difficult challenges and remain faithful.

welcome to the thread belmont4175 (Whatever your name means - I was gonna call you belly for short bit thought that wouldn't be nice)
The new name of the thread might be taken to mean that you have 4175 heoros so get to work.

Wow! I admire your humility you even changed the name, I'm just another nothing with something to say.

You could take the numbers out if you wish, it's a combination of some stuff.

Thanks

Just wanted to share an amazing Reb Yerucham (דעת תורה פרשת וירא חלק הביאורים)

One may ask why did did Hashem have to test Abraham with 10 tests? If he could pass one test wouldn't that show he could pass all the tests? If the test of the akeida was the hardest of them all, Hashem should have given them only this last one?
Indeed we must know a major principle in working on ourselves. Occasionally we meet someone who in many aspects is truly great, a real Adam gadol. But at the same time in one aspect we find him to be small and petty. A low life. And when we see all these contradictions in him we want to try to answer them. To find a way to resolve the two parts of him so that there are no contradictions.
But no, this is not the right way to go about it. There is no need to answer the contradictions in people. This is the way Hashem created us, this is the nature of human beings. That's all.
Every single person can have an aspect of lowliness that cannot be understood by others. For example, someone can have a relaxed nature up to the point where he can't even understand how others will get angry and explode. But that same person can be on the lowest level in a different midah, like when it comes to giving tzedaka it is like Krias yam suf to get a penny out of him.
This concept doesn't need to be understood, the contradiction doesn't have to be reconciled. Because this is the reality.
Indeed this is the aleph Beis of avodas hashem and tikun hamiddos. Hashem gave us a way to grow. A way to strive. A way to work on ourselves. Because that which comes natural to us, is not what is going to bring us the real reward. Our reward and our accomplishment in life only come from the dark sides of ourselves. The parts of ourselves that are difficult. That is where a person has to dedicate his entire life to try to make at least a small change in himself.
Based on the above, we can understand why Hashem had to give Avraham Avinu ten tests. Because one test doesn't show anything about the other aspect of himself. Because he could pass a test in one aspect of life and still be lacking in another aspect.
עד כאן דבריו

Rabbosai, we are not walking stiras. We don't have a nisoyon to daven or to learn or to be a bal Chesed or to be dedicated to the community. Or even if we do we can pass those nisyonos. At the same time we have other aspects of our lives that are more difficult. That we don't pass. Or not always. There is no contradiction. Because that is how Hashem created the world.

And something I learned on Shabbos.
The Rebbe of Riminov zt"l explaining why it says by the Akeida וישלח אברהם את ידו ויקח את המאכלת, Avrohom Avinu's body was automatically trained to do only the Rotzon Hashem, here he knew that this is not the real will to have Yitzchok slaughtered but he was told clearly to do it, so he had to put aside all his madreigahs and stretch his hand for the knife.

After that he asked Hashem shouldn't test him anymore with such conflicting tests and Hashem gave in to him.

R' Asher Freund zt"l says that only after Avrohom asked Hashem to not test him anymore did he get this promise, WHEN HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT WITHOUT HASHEM HE CAN'T PASS ANYTHING, and he asked Hashem only then did he get the promise.

When we think we are in control then we are easily subject to fall, but if we surrender to him then he gives us the power and will to overcome the hardest tests.
(See my footnote)

something from this Shabbos.

By R' Zushe ZY"A there was a boy in the Shul learning, one day he gets a letter stating that his mother passed away he should come home immediately, he fainted then and there, the people resuscitated him, R' Zushe told him ITS NOT TRUE your mother is still alive, weeks later he got another letter with the same message he was not shocked so much, R' Zushe told him go home its true your mother has passed. When asked what was the meaning he replied "WHEN HASHEM GIVES CHALILA A HAPPENING OR A TEST ON A PERSON HE ALSO GIVES HIM THE POWERS TO HANDLE IT", so when he fainted I knew that its not true for he couldn't handle it.

In refferance to Soroh Imainu she passed away b/c Yitzchok was not slaughtered, would of hashem said to slaughter him she would of had the power to handle it.

,

The Beis Medrash ran outta funds?
Nobody was showin' up?
Perhaps make the vorts kurts and sharf.

So I'll start, last week's sedrah (eikev) Ki Al Kol Moitzoh Pi Hashem Yichyeh HaOdom, the seforim write, Ki Al Kol Moitzo = when whatever ever happens to a person (moitzoh = findings/happenings) he says Pi Hashem everything is from his devine Hashgacha, then Yichyeh HaOdom can he start living a real life.