-Sorry Dov Strawberry Vanilla pie will have to suffice...
-I had the issue with the circle ritual at another 12 step meeting (not SA)
-7up, Honest Mouse, Frum feind... Thanks!!

I sit here all alone in the dark and night
I wish things would be better, If I knew what to do I'd fight

I am weary of the way things are, I wish I felt real hope
I am loosing strength, I don't know how long I'll cope

What is my mission what am I here for?
I want to see an end, I can't, I'm sore

I guess I'll just chug along and do the best I can
all the while hoping that g-d indeed has some type of plan

Why I write all this? I don't know
hope I'm not waiting your time with all this yo-yo

--Tried (in a weird mood)

Tried-123 wrote on 02 Nov 2010 00:50:


You are not the first guy who thinks that poets are weird.....  :

...but I MUST admit, your rhymes are fantastic!  :-*

Tried , I feel sad for the trouble u r going through,I know how it feels I too suffer lots of emotional pain , used to be worse but with a tiny twist in attitude it got b"h better, we don't know why we suffer, & no one on earth does, if they say they do slap their face, ok not really but u get what I mean, we all come down here for different purposes & we most fulfill them in order to reach our tachlis, I also have. Million & 1 questions in my head driving me nuts, but I just learned to accept them in a loving way, its not easy at all, ita TUFF work & as u know me from the past I had many suicidal thoughts over the years from all the pain, b"h those thoughts are gone now & when I feel pain , I try to trace it & seek help for it, we didn't want to be in a world where our God does things that we do understand, life would be too shallow, we like hashem for his power , & his love for every yid, especially a broken soul , once heard a good speech the magid said from the sfurim that when we say life is good b"h yom yom , hashem says that's what u call good? I'll show u what good is and gives u more blessings & c"v the opposite when we are grumpy on everything,  and I know it will sound like a joke, but believe me, take it from the ones who have been there & u know that Tried, u remember my old posts they were full of gave up attitude, its only 1 way out & that is by changing our attitude & trying to realize were we lost our connection to hashem that we don't see him in daylight, I will pray for u, cuz I really know how u feel, & plz take care of urself, if u need a buddy to help u sort things out a bit or stam to vent my inbox is open for u
Hashem sees ur pain & will make sure to make good use out of it
Plz forgive me if anything I said here was not gentle enough, I sure didn't mean to hurt u, just spoke from heart
Good night

...and i'd like to add that coming from Jewinpain, that was really something. He is a man who knows what pain is. No joke.

You are not alone, T123.

I have those mood also. Don't have much to add, just good night.

You are not alone Tried, and real friends are rooting for you.

Remember; the sun is shining - hang in there until the cloud moves out of the way and you feel its warm rays.

Thinking of  you,
7up

Thanks to all of you for responding....
It gave me encouragement ...

Tried: what a beautiful set of recent posts. What a victory to stare your temptations in the face and realize your TRUE desire is for something higher and better and cleaner and better. And you'll get there. And staying away from artificial substitutes is a good way to turbocharge that effort. You'll go far. I'm impressed.

Worried.....

Where are you Tried??

Yeah, where the heck are you?

His profile says he was here with us 3 days ago, so I guess he still hangs in here, reb tried plz come out of ur shell hashem loves u and wants u in his team, KOT

Hey thanks...
to be fully honest: I am working mainly on general steps towards sanity (a normal daily schedule, less isolation, more productivity, individual and group therapy) and I have B'h been seeing some success...

In the field of Kedusha I cannot say that I am doing the way i'd like, I do occasionally fall. At this point I am not as focused on working on it so I don't have much to post about it.... It would be hypocritical...

However, I find that the more productive and busy I am the less I want to or feel a need to act out....

But I do occasionally fall :-[ :-[

It was thoughtful of you guys to ask after me (I don't have many people in my life -family or other...)

Tried: Yeah, dealing with multiple issues at once is... tough. I think many of us know that. I do. So if you've found a way to make progress without losing sanity, I'm supportive.

But stay in touch, even if the GYE work isn't at the front of your agenda, ok? As you said, isolation doesn't help anything. Thanks.