TiredOfFalling wrote on 01 Jun 2010 05:39:

My children travel in far more chareidi circles than I ever did. In their world, it was quite simple. Some shadchan or rebbe or someone would teach them: dating that's not oriented toward marriage is: a waste of time; a terrible temptation; just plain wrong; etc.

Somehow, they buy it. And they just... don't. No phone calls, no flirtatious glances, no nuthin'. Because it's not going to lead toward a direction that would give nachas to the  RBS'O.

For them, it's that simple. Wow. For others of us, the work of a lifetime. Maybe you're young enough that this would work out somehow and you get to such a place, just because Avinu Shebashamayim wants you to. Don't know. My only thought:  I'll daven for you.

Do you know her number by heart? Maybe. I still know the numbers of girls by heart, even if the last time I called them was years ago. But that's no excuse for still having it in your phone. Deleting a number from your phone is a step forward, a step away. Delete all the old emails. Block her email address. Create as many fences between you and her as you can (after saying a short, firm, goodbye).

And remind yourself, it's over.

It would probably be a good idea for you to have someone that you can be in contact with to be in touch with on a regular basis, so that in those "moments of weakness," you have someone you can call to share how you're feeling, and remind you of why you're doing this. To ask the right questions, and remind you that you want to be free.