Just to vent a little....

Been a challenging couple of weeks. Entertaining the children 24/7... Trips to beaches and parks.. 
Shmiras Einayim success rate of 98% BH, nevertheless the amount of battles is extremely draining. Additionally my wife is also exhausted and has therefore not been so available, making it even more challenging for me. But I suppose צרת רבים (summer vacation) is חצי נחמה...

This morning I found it hard to genuinely say שלא עשני אשה. Yiddishe woman really have a nice life. They can go about their day without constantly being in a מלחמת היצר. They can go to the beach and look around to enjoy the scenery and it doesn't harm them! No urges. No inner turmoil. And also no guilt at the end of the day that they didn't learn enough. 
Perhaps this is גופא the reason חז”ל had to create this brachah...

מעניין לעניין באותו עניין:
Few nights ago I really needed my wife so I asked her... she did it for me but wasn't happy. She asked me on the following day how I would feel if she asked me if she could please stick her finger up my nose and rub hard because she liked the feel?! 
I decided its about time to speak to my wife about these challenges in much more detail and to disclose to her my personal journey. (I have spoken to her previously about P&M, but more in a general, vague manner.)
It went very well BH.
I will try to post another time a few points of our conversation because I'm interested in hearing what the oilam thinks.  

Meanwhile, ​TYH for 97 days clean.

upanddown wrote on 15 Aug 2025 01:12:

A beautiful honest and vulnerable post. 

Curious, does your wife always feel intimacy the way she described? 

mggsbms wrote on 15 Aug 2025 01:40:

No, not at all.
To be clear: Very often she reaches climax. Very often not, but still enjoys alot. Sometimes she feels the way she described above. But during our discussion she said that even during those times when she is not having any physical pleasure she still enjoys the closeness. 
We're married for 12 years and our Shalom Bayis is BH excellent, so it's always done on a background of love and care.

Thanks for asking.