Will wrote on 13 Jan 2010 17:21:


Yeah...get ready for the ton of bricks that is marriage...but it's good bricks. But yes, you can change how you think about these things. The ikar is to giving and not taking. The practicals of that are complicated - and, methinks we should continue on the married board. But it's shiach. And there's no better time then the beginning of your marriage. Oh - are you married yet?

Not sure if you're already married or about to be, but either way - mazal tov!

What you need to remember is that one fall doesn't mean you're back to where you started. It means you had a fall. No one is perfect, although everyone's slips and falls are different. Dust yourself off, remind yourself of where you're truly at, and move forward to a beautiful life.

As far as focusing on your wife, there are lots of ways to do that. As Eye pointed out several times, part of that is thinking about, actually considering, what she wants, and how to make her happy. The more you practice doing that, the more it'll become a part of who you are.

have a great shabbos!

silentbattle wrote on 15 Jan 2010 17:46:


Yeah, what's up?  How are you doing, Will?

  --Eye.

Ahhhhh! I read all your replies with an EAR TO EAR smile on my face. You guys are incredible! It never ceases to amaze me how everyone here is so caring, and they take their precious time to write lengthy replies to fellow warriors. INCREDIBLE!

I do have one confession...my wedding is not for another week. I wrote a week in my original post for reasons of anonymity...but now...I feel like a brother to you guys and I don't mind if you're the guy that learns next to me second seder and you figure out who I am. I'd like to know who my fellow brother and warrior is. Im so overcome with emotion right now that I would like to formally invite everyone here to my wedding. In fact, I'm making a new thread to that effect.

Perhaps you should wait till the emotion passes before you make such a drastic move like that...
Being overcome with emotion is definitely sensational, but you can do some silly things.

Kollel Guy wrote on 16 Jan 2010 23:58:


You should come too. 

I hope you didn't really make an invitation thread....
I mean you can make a virtual invitation, like guard did for his sons bar-mitzva.
Like invite everyone to be there "in spirit" or something feminine like that. :D

Kollel Guy wrote on 17 Jan 2010 00:11:


Lol...Whats the big deal? Absolute WORST comes to worst and someone I know in Yeshivah finds out its me. Then what? If he's on this forum he'll understand anything I've gone through and maybe it will just serve as an inspiration to us both.

So come.

He did but he didnt give out any info. He siad anyone who would like to attend can send him a PM. I think thats pretty harmless. I wouldnt do it but not for security reasons.

Why wouldn't you do it?

Im still stuck in my little shell called "afraid of being found out". But if you've been inspired and came out of that shell I think thats a really great thinkg and should ride the wave.

-Yiddle

Yiddle2 wrote on 17 Jan 2010 00:17:


Its probably easier coming out of that shell as a bochur getting married as opposed to already married....I wish you could be here Yiddle.

Well I am not married but thanks for your good wishes.

Your invitation is an incredible step forward towards all of us - I hope you'll put in a tefillah for all of us while you're under the chuppah? For the success of GYE, for Guard, for all the holy warriors' success...

And maybe put in a request for me to find the right girl? ;D

As far as everyone responding to you - we're all getting inspiration from you! You're such an incredibly caring person, so concerned about how to best focus on giving...and so appreciative of the support you get from others!

Yiddle2 wrote on 17 Jan 2010 00:31:


hey yiddle how are you? ur profile has some kind of error as it says u are married