An update:

As of the last 2 weeks, I’ve been struggling a lot. Today, I failed, I really
tried not to, I really did. 

I managed to go 38 days, then failed, then 2 days and now failed properly. But I won’t give up, I can’t give up, I feel terrible, but I’m going to go into Yom Tov tonight with Emunah and Bitachon and say to Hashem that I accept his Torah, that from today, I will do my best but I need your help tatty. 

I can’t give up, I can’t ruin my life, I don’t want to ruin my life. I want all the benefits of being clean. I will succeed no matter how many times I fall, I will succeed. 

How's it going, buddy?

Hey bro,

Honestly 8 days ago I was really struggling, lack of sleep, overworking, not eating well, and constantly on instagram. I was failing every week. 

However, last week I made the decision to deactivate my instagram account (the biggest temptation I realised). As much as I love consuming the content, it was showing me all my temptations and I just knew, knew I had to deactivate it.

It’s early days, but I feel so much better and lighter. I know some people say keep the temptation and learn to control yourself, but I’m of the belief that if I remove all the temptations in life, I can lead a pure life. Anyways, the war is not over yet, but the yetzer hara is shocked at how strong I can be. 

I just notice the difference of being clean, it’s not just physically and mentally and even if I am tired, my mindset is still better off. 

Thank you for asking! I pray everyone has the strength to overcome this!

Hay nowisthetime,
Im amazed how you had the strength to deactivate you Instagram account that shows that Yes You Can!
That's amazing brother!

Brother, more clean days to come,
you will feel much better, cleaner, manually & physically each day goes on, 
One Day At Time

Keep up buddy, you are on the right path 
keep posting

nowitstime15 wrote on 03 Jul 2025 10:33:

I don't know who says that, but ignore them. “Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” Sun Tzu. “The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” Also Sun Tzu.

Avoiding the war is most of the fight. Huge kudos to you for removing that source of struggle. Enjoy the feeling of getting cleaner. Sinking in to that feeling will help you move onward and upward.

Hatzlacha!

nowitstime15 wrote on 03 Jul 2025 10:33:

Can't believe I missed this!!!
That's awesome!
KUTGW!

How's it goin' since then?

Hello. 

I’ve recently discovered this app. 

I’ve been using P&M for about the last 7 years. It’s been a huge weight on my shoulders that has been slowly pushing me further and further onto the ground. I became more connected to Torah and Hashem about two years ago and since then, while my whole life has changed after seeing the incredible shining light of HaShems Torah; things have also been getting darker and darker with my addiction. 

this app was a huge help to me and I was doing really well. I had three weeks without any p&m, however when I had a fall last week, and then subsequently every day since then, I realised that I need to be actively working on things every day and furthermore, with other people because the main reason why I ever started, was because there was a lack of connection and friendship in my life. 

i grew up as quite a mature child. I got on with most of the people in my classes at school, however I would never have a friend close enough to ever talk about deeper topics as I never felt like anyone my age was on that level. I never went to parties and didn’t go round to friends houses much because I didn’t connect with their childish nature. 

To be honest, I still feel very lonely, even though I am privileged to have so many amazing friends and people in my life. However I think my addiction is what is getting in the way as there is a certain block I have with connecting to people, maybe because I feel like I can connect to p&m (unsustainably) or maybe because I feel like this topic is something I could never speak about with anyone. 

im not sure if what I have written is the type of thing I’m supposed to write. And even while writing, I can feel that it’s taking lots of my energy as this is always something I thought I was the only one who struggles with. But I really hope to build real authentic friendships with people and slowly but surely learn to share and let go of more so that I can fulfill my full potential without being weighed down by this heavy burden. 

dove1 wrote on 14 Jul 2025 09:51:

This is definitely the right thing to write. And this is a non-judgmental space, so you can write whatever about yourself with no worry. You might want to open up a new thread and share more of your story, and connect with the guys here.
I'm gonna recommend reading The Battle of the Generation. It's a real game-changer. See the link below in my signature.
Hatzlocha,
Captain

dove1 wrote on 14 Jul 2025 09:51:

Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal - I can feel the weight you've been carrying and also the real hope in your words. It takes tremendous courage to open up like this, especially when you've felt so alone with this struggle.

What really stands out to me is your incredible self-awareness. You've identified something so important - that the root of this goes back to feeling disconnected from others, and that P&M became a substitute for real connection. That insight is actually huge and shows you're already on the right path.

It's also powerful that you recognize how your growing connection to Torah and Hashem has brought light into your life, even while this struggle has intensified. Sometimes when we start growing spiritually, these challenges can feel more pronounced because we're more aware of what we truly want for ourselves.

The fact that you had three weeks clean shows you absolutely have the ability to break this pattern. That fall doesn't erase your progress - it's information about what you need to strengthen moving forward.

You mentioned feeling like you could never talk about this with anyone, but you just did. Right here, right now, with people who truly understand what you're going through. That block you feel in connecting with others? It starts breaking down when you realize you're not the only one carrying this burden. Your desire to build authentic friendships and share more of yourself is beautiful. As you work on recovery, you'll likely find that the walls that keep you from connecting with others start coming down naturally.

You wrote exactly what you were supposed to write. This is exactly the kind of sharing that leads to healing and real connection.

What feels like the most important next step for you right now?