Thank you for reading, Thegrave

Welcome aboard! So sorry to hear all you've been through, sounds like a lot. Congrats on taking the step to post here. Wishing you the best of luck restarting and PLEASE keep us posted.

Welcome, I'm in the same boat as you, trying so many times. I'm 2 weeks clean now but its different this time, cuz i reached out to some of the amazing people on here that are past this challenge. For me that has changed my life so drastically these past few weeks, i cant even explain. I def suggest trying it, you wont regret!

Wow. Sounds like you've been through quite a journey... All I can say is you're amazing for persevering! And hey 99 days clean is absolutely amazing! Just imagine the amount of times you said NO to your YH during those 99 days! But try not to forget the many many times you said NO to your YH even when you were not in the midst of a long streak.
From my experience, the 90 day challenge needs to be done cautiously. While of course it's a fantastic tool and keeps you going, however, it has its downside. Similar to what you've described, every time I fell after a long streak i felt soooo upset and in despair. So yes, it's great to do the 90 day challenge but it shouldn't become the focus. The inner work is what really helps. The oilom here is very into ODAAT - one day at a time. Every time you fight and overcome a challenge it's an amazing achievement.
And btw i very much relate to what you wrote about parents marriage being a trigger. Been through that myself. The only way I coped with the stress at home was by acting out. Or at least that's the way the YH wired my brain at the time....

Wishing you tremendous Hatzlacha!!
Keep us posted! 

חזק ואמץ
UpAndDown