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My struggles with kedushah

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TOPIC: My struggles with kedushah 1864 Views

Re: My struggles with kedushah 18 Dec 2024 15:18 #427306

Muttel Current streak: 227 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 517 Karma: 24	Stopping mid-fall is something supremely difficult to do. You should be making a seuda for this - drive home the point that you are in charge. You do have the ability to hold back. This can be a tremendous catalyst to a mindset shift.... With a ton of respect, Muttel
	We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! Muttel15@gmail.com Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google) Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My struggles with kedushah 18 Dec 2024 18:30 #427322

stopsurvivingstartliving
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tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 17 Dec 2024 21:42:

I was using an innocent app on my phone and found a way to get open web access, and went straig to p.
Again, I was feeling pretty apathetic, not reall caring, and then some of what I had been reading from the battle of the generation yesterday popped into my head, I don't even remember what it was, might not even have been any one specific thing that I saw, just that reading it was mechazek that its not worth it and that I don't want to be doing it, and I decided that its not worth it and stopped.

Now that's a crazy win. Treat yourself out in a way that you will remember the next time you get into such a situation.

Introducing myself
My current count to 90!
Nechama for the singles/bochurim

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 04:58 #427375

tzaddikvikam13
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Muttel wrote on 18 Dec 2024 15:18:

Stopping mid-fall is something supremely difficult to do. You should be making a seuda for this - drive home the point that you are in charge. You do have the ability to hold back. This can be a tremendous catalyst to a mindset shift....

With a ton of respect,
Muttel

Like I said, I was feeling apathetic.
There was an urge, but it was pretty weak and I was just bored and didn't care enough not to.
So it didn't take an incredible amount of self control to stop.
Yeah, stopping was a win, but save the fireworks for January first.

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 05:28 #427378

BenHashemBH
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tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 19 Dec 2024 04:58:

Muttel wrote on 18 Dec 2024 15:18:

So what does this win mean to you?

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Last Edit: 19 Dec 2024 05:29 by BenHashemBH.

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 16:33 #427429

tzaddikvikam13 OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 170 Karma: 0	A win. What else should it mean?

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 16:35 #427431

BenHashemBH OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 789 Karma: 23	tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 19 Dec 2024 16:33: A win. What else should it mean? That's what you call it, but how are your processing it?
	Today is yesterday's tomorrow. The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus. It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one. A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 17:15 #427438

BenHashemBH OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 789 Karma: 23	BenHashemBH wrote on 19 Dec 2024 16:35: tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 19 Dec 2024 16:33: A win. What else should it mean? That's what you call it, but how are your processing it? What I'm trying to get at is that even if you don't see this as fireworks, I'm hoping you don't see it apathetically either. Don't overshadow the accomplishment with what you think it isn't. Hatzlacha
	Today is yesterday's tomorrow. The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus. It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one. A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: My struggles with kedushah 19 Dec 2024 17:52 #427450

Muttel
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tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 19 Dec 2024 04:58:

Muttel wrote on 18 Dec 2024 15:18:

I'll do both. Fireworks for your win and again January 1st. Upstairs, you generated more fireworks than any new years celebration...

We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out!
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My struggles with kedushah 20 Dec 2024 19:28 #427576

tzaddikvikam13
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Posts: 170
Karma: 0

Since my fall two and half weeks ago, I've been falling more, having more urges, and been less motivated to fight.
I've started feeling afraid that the winning streak I've had since joining gye 3 months ago was just a honeymoon, a burst of motivation that won't last long-term, and from here on it will be a slow, one-step-forward-two-steps-backward, uphill battle.
I still don't know what will be, but the other night I had a strong urge to m, and I felt the old, familiar, attitude of "I don't care that I'm craving it, I don't do these things anymore, and I'm just not giving in", and I went on with my night.
So I'm feeling a little optimistic.

Re: My struggles with kedushah 22 Dec 2024 01:47 #427596

tzaddikvikam13 OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 170 Karma: 0	Had an urge to m in the shower erev shabbos, was a struggle but I didn't give in, probably thanks to tzaddikatheart, would've probably fallen without his chizuk.