Welcome, Guest

Setback.
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Setback. 105 Views

Setback. 20 Aug 2024 03:39 #419458

Hey friends. First I would like to thank everyone that helped me with all of their ideas for posts I have made earlier. I was clean for almost 9 days but unfortunately I messed up. I recommitted myself and was clean for a day until I messed up again. That feeling of giving up is starting to creep in and I’m looking for some ways to push it out and keep it out. Open to any and all suggestions
-Norseman
Last Edit: 20 Aug 2024 03:40 by ScottHarvath.

Re: Setback. 20 Aug 2024 11:44 #419467

  • jewizard21
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 127
  • Karma: 5
One Day At A Time 

You were clean for 9 days, then messed up, then clean for a 10th day then messed up....
Remember that a mess up doesnt mean you have totally failed, it means you messed up TODAY but you have control over the now, this moment, the rest of today. 
      Then the next day, don't focus on "oh im a failure bc I messed up yesterday" because you can't change yesterday but you can control today. 
       The goal isn't the highest streak, even though it's nice and helpful for you to have a long streak, but the goal is each day as it comes. 

Much Hatzlacha.

      Sorry if this sounds jumbled, I haven't had my morning coffee yet
"The best filter is the one you don't test"-Dov
Dov talks audio library:
guardyoureyes.com/tools/kosher-isle/shiurim/category/dov-s-recovery-talks

My Introduction:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412126-Me

Re: Setback. 20 Aug 2024 12:32 #419475

  • Captain
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 800
  • Karma: 41
Please check out The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation
Especially Appendix A in the back of the book.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Setback. 20 Aug 2024 12:54 #419478

  • jmyers99
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 76
  • Karma: 2
Feeling down about a mess up is the biggest trick of the yetzer hara. "I already messed up, now I'm worthless, etc."

I've found after a fall, I'm much more likely to fall again because I already feel bad about myself, I might as well fall again to feel better, then I feel worse, fall again, etc. 

Must take yourself out of the loop. We ask Hashem to remove the satan before us and after us during hashkivaynu before shemona esrei by maariv. Before us means help lead us in the right path - but behind us? I heard Rabbi YY Jacobson say it means the yetzer hara stands there and says "you suck, you're nothing, you're so bad, etc." 

That's the biggest trick. A bit part of not falling again is brushing yourself off and controlling the future versus staying down because of the past. 

Last Edit: 20 Aug 2024 12:55 by jmyers99.

Re: Setback. 20 Aug 2024 18:11 #419498

Nothing new

if only 9/10 was your batting average....

no criticism here, but can't understand why you needed to open a new thread. There's no "setback" here, just part of the "journey". Keep adding new tools to your daily routine, and start sharing more openly what and how you fell or slipped (It does "wonders" for staying clean and even softening the falls)
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.38 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes