You are great. Greatness isn't relative to other people, its relative to ourselves and our situations. You are in a situation with much more temptation than a lot of people here, and still you are overcoming your desires. Im not saying its okay to masterbate, but the fact that that's all that you're doing makes you great. You're a fighter fighting for purity, and despite the slips, you're on the right track. Im in awe of you. You're living in what many people would consider "dream circumstances" and yet you chose the path of most resistance, the path of greatness, spiritually, physically, emotionally. You oblige us all to try our hardest. You're awesome

lionfree wrote on 20 Feb 2024 18:01:

"he turned down the hot wife of an Egyptian nobleman"
and you turned down hundreds of, hot chicks,
he didnt have access to porn, and you said NO, im not gonna watch a fifth time!
please give me a blessing.

lionfree wrote on 20 Feb 2024 18:01:

@lionfree
I often think about that myself. Would I turn down Potifar's wife's advances? I hope to never be in that circumstance, but I, intentionally, don't find myself secluded with any woman outside of my female immediate family members.

The Sages said (translation is mine) that "Yosef challenges all who struggle with temptation." He showed us that it is within the realm of possibility to refrain from giving into temptation. It doesn't mean that it's easy, but possible, yes.

To your question, "do I deserve to see myself as someone as righteous as him?" I say, "yes." Yosef is not included in the Sage's list of those who never sinned. Righteous is not the same as perfect or sin-free. We are not born as righteous or wicked. We are born with the will to decide what our actions will be in any given moment. We can choose to do righteous acts or wicked acts. You have chosen to spend time on a college campus--that you described as 'one of the top party schools in the country'--writing about and reaching out for help regarding your struggles with pornography and masturbation. That sounds pretty righteous to me. 

lionfree wrote on 20 Feb 2024 18:01:

Dear Lion-Free,

"How can I be a HaTzaddik?!"

Seriously?! 

You are a Tzaddik because, in my personal lust infested view, I see no reason for you you not to indulge in the kind of opportunities that are available to you. I will speak for myself, but I daresay some others here feel the same...

I am relegated to the pitiful reality of perusing cyber girl harems solely because of one reason: RISK. FEAR. 

I am terrified of losing my family, community, my religious identity. 

Yet, for you, it is not only available but encouraged, and what would you have to lose?

I am sadly so far removed from the reasons that drive you to purity that I have a hard time understanding them.

Yes! You are a Tzaddik!!

lionfree wrote on 20 Feb 2024 18:01:

Personally, all this tzaddik stuff doesn't speak to me, but that's ok.
As far as I'm concerned, you can view yourself (myself) as a sinner or a righteous person, but that has nothin' to do with what I need to do.
So, I ask you: why think of what you deserve or who to be compared to? What kinda life do you wanna live and what do you need to do today to get closer to that path? Some days, you/we will falter; other days, we won't.

Godspeed

cordnoy wrote on 20 Feb 2024 19:07:

Cordnoy, 
I disagree with you about my earlier post (and that’s ok), but I couldn’t agree with you more here. These are the truest words I’ve read in a while. 

Hi lionfree.  Did you ever consider changing schools? Why be in a place that makes you feel uncomfortable. It must be so hard being told by family members to act out. It’s a real shame! How do you respond to their taunts? But it’s important to understand what’s the real reason you want to stop masturbating is it a religious one or how it makes you feel. It’s normal to desire it but know deep down that’s it’s poison.  It’s our struggle. But remember take pride in your actions and realize that you’re Hashem’s child and all these people are in the dark. Be proud!