Just to interject on this discussion on tefilla. It is totally normal to not daven as hard when there isnt an eis tzara. Dovid hamelech has different headers to different kapitlach based on the tzara. See sharim batfila who says that a tefila from a tzara has a completely dif name. (That being said, one can be on a madreiga where he realizes its always an eis tzara but IMHO this is nly for a person on a high madreiga with a counterbalance of simcha in his life.)  Regardless, it is totally normal, adam14 and you should not be hard on yourself, as that gets nobody nowhere. The solution, perhaps, is to understand the basis of tefilla as a means to connect to Hashem, which is always necessary, and a path for us to realize that he is in control of everything. Thats why we enumerate everything. When we realize everything comes from him and stop relying so much on our own strength we are deserving of blessing. (this is according to the mabit, there are others....) As far as the idea of Hashem giving us pain to make us call out to Him... I am very, very hesitant about this, although Ive heard it many times. You would never, ever send an arab nation to kill your kids to get some other ones to talk to you, or even cause your children pain with that goal in mind. Your mercy is not greater than gds. We do find that idea by a tzara that didnt yet come, more like a fright (by krias yam suf etc.), that maybe.... Either way it must be understood in the context of a loving almighty father. Just my own two cents...

The Mekubalim explain that (among other ideas), when a Yid recognizes Hakadosh Boruch Hu as the source of what he needs, and connects to him in that context, whether it is connecting to Hashem as the Source of Parnassa, or Refua, or any other Yeshua (such as asking for help in staying clean), this actually opens a gateway that allows Bracha to flow into the world in those areas for which we have davened. 

The catalyst for this gateways and flow of Bracha is not just the incredibly potent force of the a Jew's realization and desire to connect with his Creator. It is also based on the idea that WE change through the process of Davening. When we stop, close our eyes and realize that everything comes from Hashem, when we bow down and place ourselves in His hands - WE change. Then Hashem's plan for us can change, too.

Davening isn't begging or nagging Hashem for what we want. It's a session in which we recalibrate our priorities and our perspectives. A time we take to connect to Hashem and find trust and hope in Him. A time in which we connect to our inner desires and what we really want out of life. Tefilla done right is supposed to be therapeutic on every level.

And after we do the work ad accomplish those changes,  Hashem often changes His plans for us....

So again, why bother at all? 

Bennyh wrote on 29 Feb 2024 17:16:

The best way I can think of to appropriately respond is with a big, long, warm hug.

Bennyh wrote on 29 Feb 2024 17:16:

The best way I can think of to appropriately respond is with a big, long, warm hug. 

Some days there are answers and no questions. But other days it’s grey and there are questions and no good answers. Sometime it seems that it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelukah….

chaimoigen wrote on 29 Feb 2024 18:44:

I think I’d rather get a kiss on both cheeks from Eerie, Benny you should try it. 

So again, why bother at all?

What a great conversation you guys are having. I am learning so much from reading your words. Let me throw out this simple but difficult question.

Let's say that HaShem's plan for me was to die in a car accident. Of course, there was nothing I could do to prepare for it other than wear my seatbelt, not play with my phone while driving, not speed, and do things like that.  That is not something that I would pray for; it has never entered my mind. Would any amount of davening or devotion to HaShem prevent that from happening? 

Is Hashem's plan for all of us unchangeable, or does HaShem make adjustments along the way based on outside circumstances? If I lived the most authentic, observant HaShem-focused life... Would he possibly change the decree of me dying in the crash, or would it happen regardless of how I lived my life?

I bring this up because I was telling someone about how thankful I was for the prayers for my friend and how it turned out well (so far); they chuckled and said, "Thank the doctors, not your friends."

With the risk of incurring their wrath, I would suggest you don't hang out with that someone...

This is one of the bad things about living in a non-frum community. Most of the people that live around me are Jewish but don't even believe in God! My extended family are almost all atheists, even though they are Jewish. For them, it is a Social Status not a faith. I could go on and on about that.. LOL

I would be pretty lonely if I separated myself from every person who thinks that way. That is another test that HaShem has given me.