It is a free country so if you want to reel from your mistake. so be it. However, there are no coincidences, so maybe Hashem orchestrated this miscommunication, so you should see what a chevra you have become part of - and that you contribute to as well. I am sure the guys will daven sincerely for your friend's refuah. It sounds like she and her husband have made major changes in their lives and have many zchusim. May Hashem keep you, your wife, and all your loved ones healthy with heaping doses of simcha, menucha, and bracha in your/their lives.

Is the name spelled איטא or עטיל or is it something else?

איטא

חיה בת איטא לאה

Hi Guys, The surgery went well. They claim that they did everything that they intended to do. The real story will come in 7 to 10 days when the pathology report comes out and we find out if she is cancer-free. Thank all of you for the prayers and for the love... It is very hard for me to put into words how much that means to me. I will keep you posted every step of the way



I reached out to my Rabbi about the spelling of her name, and he asked me who needed it; I said some "friends from New York," forgetting for a moment that he is from Crown Heights. I think he was a little jealous that I had friends from NY that weren't through him. I wish I had a better answer for him. 

Nice to hear good news. May Hashem shower her with continued refuah. In reality you could have answered "friends from around the world".....

So much to talk about.... I just returned from a 5-day trip to Miami to visit my daughter... stayed clean the entire trip without a struggle.

The BIG news is that the Cancer is GONE from my dear friend. They are talking about not even doing the radiation.. Everything looks PERFECT at the moment. I will forever be thankful for all of your prayers. I will write more tomorrow .. just got off the plane and had to tell you guys!!!

adam2014 wrote on 27 Feb 2024 00:39:

Never doubt the powers of my prayers.
Or the powers of your own.

Since this is my own thread, I hope it is OK to change topics a little. Before my friends' surgery, I was davening hard for her, When Oct 7th happened I davened hard for the people of Eretz Israel, When something bad happens in my personal life or the world, I daven HARD... HaShem never lets me down, and even if I don't get the result that I was praying for, I know that there is a reason and there is some "hidden good" that I can't comprehend...

When the immediate storm is over, I tend to fall off and not put the effort into davening as when I need something.. That is terrible. I should be davening every day with the same Kavanah as when my world is collapsing. How can I expect HaShem to come to my aid when I only honor him when I need something? It is like the friend who only calls you when they need money. The phone rings, and you hear the voice, and you immediately know why they are calling... I don't want to be THAT guy!

adam2014 wrote on 28 Feb 2024 11:25:

Well the truth is there is a basic misunderstanding of Tefila the way I was taught, its a question of what came first the chicken or the egg,
Sometimes people think that the the reason why they are davening is because they have difficulties in their life , therefore, they need to daven that life gets better.
The truth really is, Hashem desires our Tefila more than anything - so when he sees that people are not  davening properly, He sends them a little nudge saying,  Hey you ! I'm still here - please don't ignore me  I want you to talk to me. I miss you .
If people would be having that proper relationship with their Father, He wouldn't need to remind them of his existence with that painful nudge

Interesting topic. I look at tefillah as being comprised of two primary parts: Praising and Begging. I very much identify with the first part, and don't relate at all to the second part. And the whole thing in general is a struggle for me these last couple of months. It finally came up yesterday in therapy.

@bennyh can u explain a little bit y u identify with praising and not begging? 

Leovdacha wrote on 28 Feb 2024 22:52:

Because I identify with the fact that Hashem, blessed be His name, is the Creator and Guide for all created beings. He alone made, makes, and will make all that is created (first Principle of Faith). And I appreciate that He has given me so much good in this life and that He has chosen little me to be a part of His holy nation.

I don't identify with the begging part because I don't identify with the ideology of G-d being an egocentric maniac who "gets off" on people begging Him to "change His Mind" (ch'v), or that he's just such a wishy-washy G-d that if you pester Him enough, He'll just get so annoyed with you that He'll just give in just to get you off His back (ch'v, keveyachol, etc).

I identify with the fact that He is omniscient and that He has a perfect plan for me and my life. And I don't identify with the idea of begging Him to change it just because tiny peanut-brain me decided that I figured out what's good for me. So I just trust His Infinite Wisdom and plan and don't beg. 

I know all the answers, I just don't feel them. And I'm sorry-not-so-sorry for the way I brought it out. But you asked, so I answered.

redfaced wrote on 27 Feb 2024 02:34:

Or the powers of a very special tzibbur called GYE forum chevra....

Just to interject on this discussion on tefilla. It is totally normal to not daven as hard when there isnt an eis tzara. Dovid hamelech has different headers to different kapitlach based on the tzara. See sharim batfila who says that a tefila from a tzara has a completely dif name. (That being said, one can be on a madreiga where he realizes its always an eis tzara but IMHO this is nly for a person on a high madreiga with a counterbalance of simcha in his life.)  Regardless, it is totally normal, adam14 and you should not be hard on yourself, as that gets nobody nowhere. The solution, perhaps, is to understand the basis of tefilla as a means to connect to Hashem, which is always necessary, and a path for us to realize that he is in control of everything. Thats why we enumerate everything. When we realize everything comes from him and stop relying so much on our own strength we are deserving of blessing. (this is according to the mabit, there are others....) As far as the idea of Hashem giving us pain to make us call out to Him... I am very, very hesitant about this, although Ive heard it many times. You would never, ever send an arab nation to kill your kids to get some other ones to talk to you, or even cause your children pain with that goal in mind. Your mercy is not greater than gds. We do find that idea by a tzara that didnt yet come, more like a fright (by krias yam suf etc.), that maybe.... Either way it must be understood in the context of a loving almighty father. Just my own two cents...