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Grant's Rants

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TOPIC: Grant's Rants 7692 Views

Re: Grant's Rants 16 Jun 2023 16:26 #397688

chaimoigen
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richtig wrote on 16 Jun 2023 14:13:

Grant400 wrote on 16 Jun 2023 14:03:

Cleaning. Affection. Cooking. Shopping. Gifts. Helping. Laundry. Notes. Concern. Etc.

If you are doing this because of an endgame in mind, you are still being selfish.

Or out of guilt

All true. But positive actions, with a focus on using them to connect to the desire to connect and give out of unsullied loving, are a wonderful tool. So I try to wind the awareness into a re-directing... Meaningful eye contact helps, too.

Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Re: Grant's Rants 18 Jun 2023 13:35 #397723

grant400
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In order to love your wife, you don't need to think, believe or convince yourself:

She's the prettiest woman that exists.

She has the best personality ever.

She deserves the best in middos award.

She's the most selfless and giving wife of all time.

She needs to make you happy (in all ways...) at all times.

You would be miserable with the other one.

Etc.

You are allowed to just love her to pieces - because she is yours.

"Just Regular Movies"
Grant's Rants
The Story Teller & Related Threads
The Five Languages of Love
Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think

Last Edit: 18 Jun 2023 13:36 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 18 Jun 2023 17:41 #397732

ilovehashem247
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Grant400 wrote on 18 Jun 2023 13:35:

I am in the middle of re-listening to rabbi Bentzion Shafier’s Shmuz #47 “cognitive restructuring” which touches exactly on this subject!

Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today.
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect.
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi!
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone.
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: Grant's Rants 19 Jun 2023 13:41 #397777

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	You know that way we tell a friend "It's totally ok" - when it's completely not? You know the way we apologize to the cop even though we don't think it's justified? You know the way we give our friends the benefit of the doubt? Why not try that with our wives?
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 19 Jun 2023 13:41 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 19 Jun 2023 17:03 #397792

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	Keep your heart on forever, but your mind on today. - Richtig June 19 2023
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 19 Jun 2023 20:54 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 20 Jun 2023 01:00 #397813

chaimoigen Current streak: 555 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1346 Karma: 134	Grant400 wrote on 19 Jun 2023 17:03: Keep your heart on forever, but your mind on today. - Richtig June 19 2023 !!!! I made a bet with myself that you'd quote this line!!! Richtig - Back in Yeshiva it was major stuff if the Rosh Yeshiva spoke you out in shiur....
	Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Re: Grant's Rants 20 Jun 2023 01:06 #397814

richtig OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 558 Karma: 29	chaimoigen wrote on 20 Jun 2023 01:00: Grant400 wrote on 19 Jun 2023 17:03: Keep your heart on forever, but your mind on today. - Richtig June 19 2023 !!!! I made a bet with myself that you'd quote this line!!! Richtig - Back in Yeshiva it was major stuff if the Rosh Yeshiva spoke you out in shiur.... much obliged
	"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)

Re: Grant's Rants 20 Jun 2023 12:45 #397826

ilovehashem247 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 463 Karma: 36	Just as addiction and alcoholism are progressive, so too is recovery. Just as the craving increases as it’s indulged, so too is the serenity of recovery.
	Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: Grant's Rants 20 Jun 2023 13:29 #397828

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	Never does my mind move as fast as it does - when it seeks to place blame on anyone but myself.
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 20 Jun 2023 13:30 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 21 Jun 2023 13:54 #397885

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	Being disciplined and in control doesn't have to mean you can face obstacles head on and conquer them, it can also mean you plan accordingly to remove the obstacles, making success more realistic.
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 21 Jun 2023 13:54 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 21 Jun 2023 16:57 #397901

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	Philosophizin' beats workin' any day of the week! - Cordnoy, June 16 2023
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think

Re: Grant's Rants 22 Jun 2023 01:42 #397917

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	In the heat of the moment, when we are just so overcome and can't seem to make any sane decisions that might deprive us of the pleasure and release we crave so fantastically - we may still have enough left in our tank to reach out to that person who truly cares. I've done it, it works wonders. I don't know if that person is on this site, and figured out my identity, but if yes, thank you!
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 22 Jun 2023 01:44 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 22 Jun 2023 14:53 #397942

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	There's a tremendous difference between an excuse and an explanation: Both can be utilizing the same words - though one attempts to absolve guilt, while one can help prevent a reoccurance in the future.
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think Last Edit: 22 Jun 2023 14:53 by grant400.

Re: Grant's Rants 28 Jun 2023 01:35 #398147

grant400 Current streak: 47 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1490 Karma: 173	Don't worship a streak for its number of days, worship it for the growth behind it. - Connected, June 27 2023
	"Just Regular Movies" Grant's Rants The Story Teller & Related Threads The Five Languages of Love Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think