Hey all, I figured it would be a good idea to open a thread for guys to vent out how they feel “after the fall”  A big motivator for us in this battle is knowing what we actually truly want is different from our fantasy, and different from what our lustful brain is telling us.. Unfortunately, usually only after the fall do we realize it And we wake up back to our reality with our goals and aspirations in life and we realize I just made a wrong move.. So I feel horrible etc
we have to realize this before the fall! I’m hoping with this thread guys can unload their guilt and pain from the fall and gain support.. and guys who are about to fall can read this and realize that giving in to temptation isn’t worth it for them. They should get it in a kosher way instead. 
what does the chevra think about this idea? 

An interesting idea.. Sometimes what i do is when i wake up (when clean) I try to think about how i usually feel the "day after". That horrid feeling of i've done it again etc etc.. I then remind myself that i don't need to feel that way as i am clean.. And i think of all the good things to look forward too and close connections i can feel as a result.. Sounds silly but it helps me!

To be honest by the time i am about to fall its often too late.. and regretfully i have no regard or care for consequences. I know full well how i will feel afterwards but it doesn't stop me. Its only afterwards when the impulse and feelings are gone i feel the familiar void and pain that we can all relate too. For me the key is not to get the point of "about to fall" as by then it is too late. Its crazy but there is no good argument that works in my head when i get to "that point".. my only hope is to stay well clear from the cliff edge!

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I agree it will help and be a tremendous prevention 
however lets hope no one writes that means no one falls lol
but lets get it rolling 

I'm a fan.

taherlibeinu wrote on 26 Apr 2022 17:17:

Also read chapter 34 of the battle of the generation.  The more you internalize the message beforehand  the better chance you have of stopping the desires even when they become intense.  

Hi Guys,
thank G-D I did not give in, but here are my thoughts.
I made a kabalah to give 50$ to GYE is I use ay open devices. in my house for the wrong reasons.
I have an urge to google things right now, as I experience headaches and drowsiness often these days.
I know if I google these things where I will end up.

Thanks Shtark for starting this thread

Eyes

I just fell and I feel like garbage. Usually when I fall I don't masturbate but this time I did it. Instead of improving I actually fell back to my old habits. 

I knew in the back of my mind that this would come eventually if I keep watching. And I did this until I hit "rock bottom" as you would call it. I just feel lost but I realize it's time to take things seriously.

I also just fell. Feeling so depressed. Such regret. 

Me too feel stupid!!!!!!!!!!
idiotic shame disgusted!!!!! What profit????? Am I feeling better????? 
5 minutes on the clock 
pathetic!!!!!!!!!!

this is a double edge sword.  of course it is helpful for people about to fall to recognize that the temptation does not live up to its hype and that they will be disappointed if they succumb. so reading about other peoples post fall reactions should be beneficial.

On the other hand for people who have given in to their desires, it is extremely important not to dwell on it and get depressed or feel like a "rasha" or fool etc...We are all good people dealing with a difficult struggle.  The important thing is to regroup, refocus and keep trying.   Please keep that in mind even as you write about your post fall disappointment. 

Guys
HHM taught me that this is something of our generation something that is hurting lots of Jews.
You are not stupid, disgusting or foolish.
Just keep it in your mind that that there is this flu around and you are learning to deal with it. Like covid, in the beginning everyone was going crazy, but now we are learning to deal with it.
Chevra this too is a plague, if we learn to deal with it instead of crushing ourselves it will help.
I am not perfect. I have urges everyday. For me and for most of us here its a constant battle. 
lets remind ourselves not to crush ourselves, but to get up brush yourself off and say I will learn from my mistake.
If you know that going on a device will make you fall, then make a kabalah or have a partner that will keep you acceptable.
One of the hardest things for me once I started with my partner was being accountable. One time he asked me, what did you watch? I couldnt answer I was dead embarrassed. I told him anyway. 

Guys we are all in this together. 
BTW I was just speaking to myself. It is very therapeutic for me to write this

Love Ya all
Eyes 

Hey all, It’s very beneficial the next time you feel weak to remember yourself writing this… sexual adventure doesn’t live up. The expectation is never met. It’s so not worth it! Go enjoy a good meal in a chusheve restaurant - that’s pleasure! 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 29 Apr 2022 04:27:

And a good physical workout is even more geshmak.....

Hi Shtarkandemotional,
I'm not sure that a restaurant is any less fleeting. At the end of the hour or so, it's done. That said, it certainly can be a muttar fleeting.
Also, often restaurants are not at all tzanua, depending on where you are.